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The Love Guru
Promotional poster
Directed by	Marco Schnabel
Produced by	Mike Myers Gary Barber Michael DeLuca
Written by	Mike Myers Graham Gordy
Starring	Mike Myers Jessica Alba Romany Malco Justin Timberlake
Music by	George S. Clinton
Cinematography	Peter Deming
Editing by	Billy Weber
Studio	Spyglass Entertainment
Distributed by	Paramount Pictures
Release date(s)	June 20, 2008
Running time	91 min.
Country	United States Canada
Language	English
Budget	$62 million[1]
Gross revenue	$40,819,064[1]

The Love Guru is a 2008 American comedy film, directed by Marco Schnabel and starring Mike Myers and Jessica Alba along with Romany Malco, Justin Timberlake, Daniel Tosh and Verne Troyer. In addition to starring in the film, Myers wrote The Love Guru with Graham Gordy, and produced it with Gary Barber. The film was released by Paramount Pictures on June 20, 2008 and on August 1 in the United Kingdom. It was released on DVD and Blu-Ray on September 16.

In 2009, the film won three Golden Raspberry Awards, for worst film (beating Disaster Movie and Meet the Spartans), worst actor (Mike Myers) and worst screenplay.

Plot

Darren Roanoke, the star player of the Toronto Maple Leafs, is suffering from stress because his girlfriend, Prudence Roanoke (Meagan Good), has left him for the Los Angeles Kings French-Canadian goaltender Jacques "Le Coq" Grandé (#1) (Justin Timberlake). The stress causes his hand to shake, which affects his hockey performance. Jane Bullard (Jessica Alba) enlists the support of Guru Maurice Pitka (Mike Myers) to help Darren with his stress so that the team can hopefully break their losing streak. In addition to getting a considerable payment, Pitka would be invited to Oprah Winfrey's show, which he hopes would help him become the #1 guru, a place currently held by Deepak Chopra. Pitka succeeds, but feels no need anymore to become #1, more important is his love for Jane. However, in connection with a vow, Guru Tugginmypudha gave him a chastity belt. Pitka returns to Tugginmypudha to have it removed. Tugginmypudha agrees that it can be removed now, and explains how to do that; to Pitka's surprise, no key is needed.

Cast

• Mike Myers as Guru Maurice Pitka
• Romany Malco as Darren Roanoke
• Jessica Alba as Jane Bullard
• Meagan Good as Prudence Roanoke
• Verne Troyer as Coach Punch Cherkov
• Justin Timberlake as Jacques "Le Coq" Grandé
• Telma Hopkins as Lillian Roanoke
• Manu Narayan as Rajneesh, Pitka's assistant
• John Oliver as Dick Pants
• Ben Kingsley as Guru Tugginmypudha
• Stephen Colbert as Jay Kell
• Jim Gaffigan as Trent Lueders
• Rob Huebel as Bar Patron
• Omid Djalili as Guru Satchabigknoba
• Laura Landauer as Céline Dion
• Daniel Tosh as Baga Weed

As themselves

• Mike Myers
• Mariska Hargitay
• Kanye West
• Val Kilmer
• Rob Blake
• Deepak Chopra
• Jessica Simpson
• Morgan Freeman

Music

The original score for the film was composed by George S. Clinton, who recorded it with an 80-piece ensemble of the Hollywood Studio Symphony at Warner Bros.^[2]

The song "Dhadak Dhadak" from the 2005 Bollywood film Bunty Aur Babli was used in the trailer.

The songs "9 to 5", "More Than Words", and "The Joker" are all in the movie (performed by Mike Myers, and with sitar accompaniment) and on the soundtrack. "Brimful of Asha" was also used in the film.

It is worthy of note that a snippet of "Bohemian Rhapsody" is played while Guru Pitka (Myers) and head bobbing Darren Roanoke (Malco) are driving in a car en route to Buffalo - a quick homage to Myers' character Wayne Campbell (Wayne's World) who was known for 'head-banging' to the same song.

Céline Dion's Songs "I Drove All Night" and "Because You Loved Me" were featured in the film as Justin Timberlake's character was a massive fan, and a well known Celine Impersonator Laura Landauer has a part in the film as Celine Dion.

Promotion

Mike Myers appeared in the seventh season finale of American Idol as his character Pitka, the "spiritual director" of that show. The finalists David Cook and David Archuleta got to visit the Paramount Pictures studio theatre to see The Love Guru a month before its release and then got to meet Myers dressed like Pitka and was playing Sitar Hero.

A "Fan Resource Page" at Fox Entertainment's beliefnet.com website^[3] was "created as part of a collaboration between Beliefnet and Paramount Pictures."^[4]

Box office performance

While predicted to be a summer hit, The Love Guru ended up being a box office bomb. In its opening weekend, The Love Guru grossed $13.9 million in 3,012 theaters in the United States and Canada, ranking #4 at the box office.^[1] The opening week numbers fell short of the $20 million range forecast by Hollywood pundits.^[5] To date, the film has grossed $40,854,735 worldwide,^[1] two-thirds of its $62 million budget.

Critical reception

The Love Guru was panned by most critics. As of December 18, 2008, the review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes reported that 14% of critics gave the film positive reviews, based on 125 reviews.^[6] Metacritic reported the film had an average score of 24 out of 100, based on 33 reviews.^[7]

Jay Stone of the National Post gave the film one star and said the film "is shockingly crass, sloppy, repetitive and thin." Stone said "Chopra is used almost as a product placement, taking a proud spot alongside a circus, a brand of cinnamon buns, the Leafs and, of course, Mike Myers." Stone also wrote, "the sitar-based versions of pop songs like "9 to 5" are oddly watchable - but mostly the film is 88 minutes of ridiculous sight gags and obscene puns."^[8]

A. O. Scott of The New York Times wrote "The word 'unfunny' surely applies to Mr. Myers’s obnoxious attempts to find mirth in physical and cultural differences but does not quite capture the strenuous unpleasantness of his performance. No, The Love Guru is downright antifunny, an experience that makes you wonder if you will ever laugh again."^[9] Scott also commented that the cameo appearance of actress Mariska Hargitay was anti-climactic. An ongoing gag in the film is the use of "Mariska Hargitay" as a phoney Hindi greeting.^[9]

Harry Knowles of Aintitcoolnews.com was utterly disgusted with the film, considering it one of the worst films of at least the past several years, and going so far as to declare it a career-killing movie for Myers.^[10]

The Globe and Mail gave the movie a 1-star review, saying the only funny part was the line "the Toronto Maple Leafs have won the Stanley Cup!", due to the recent lack of skills displayed by the team. One reviewer felt that the only actor that "really scores in the film is Stephen Colbert," who plays a drug- and sex-addicted hockey broadcaster, lauding his performance as "absolutely hysterical."

The film was listed as the worst movie of 2008 in the New York Post's Top 10 Worst Movies of 2008 overview.^[11]

Home Media

The Love Guru was released on Blu-ray Disc and DVD on September 16, 2008 and sold a half million DVD units bringing in $9,116,976 in revenue.^[12]

Awards

No awards to date.

References

External links

• The Love Guru Official Movie Website
• The Love Guru at the Internet Movie Database
• The Love Guru at Allmovie
• The Love Guru at Rotten Tomatoes
• The Love Guru at Metacritic
• The Love Guru at Box Office Mojo

From Wikiquote

The Love Guru is a 2008 American comedy film, directed by Marco Schnabel and starring Mike Myers and Jessica Alba. Romany Malco and Justin Timberlake co-star. In addition to starring in the film, Myers wrote The Love Guru with Graham Gordy and produced it with Gary Barber. The film was released by Paramount Pictures on June 20, 2008 and was rated PG-13. The film was released on August 1 in the United Kingdom, and has been rated 12A.

Directed by Jay Roach. Written by Mike Myers.

Guru Pitka

• In my Book, If you're happy and you know it, Think again. I speak of the teachings of Intimacy, or Into-Me-I-See. Intimacy is like putting your Wiener on a table and having someone say. 'Hey, That looks like a Penis, Only smaller!' [Laughs] Only Smaller...

• Although i was raised here in India, I was born in America. Which is where our journey begins it's the story of a hockey player, named Darren Roanoke. My most resistant student, who became my greatest teacher... Or some such bullshit, I don't know.

• Guru Pitka had a farm. EIEIO. And in that farm he did no harm. EIEIO.

• BIBLE

Basic Instructions Before Leaving Earth

• Dont peck my fucking eyes!

• Marishka Hargitay Jessica simpson.
• Marishka Hargitay Val Kilmer.
• Marishka Hargitay... Marishka Hargitay.

• Tonight I want you to go from nowhere to NOW HERE.

• Is it made out of dog? Is it a dog's tingy, am I being punk'd?

If you ever sucker punch me again, I'll kick your ass all the way back to the keebler factory.

I have two tattoos. One of them is DRAMA tatto and the other is a picture of daffy duck pushing a lawn mower through my pubes.

Let's make like a baby and head out. Cherkoff: Hey Pitka! Pitka:yes? CHerkoff: What's the capital of thailand Pitka:Bangkok Cherkoff:exactly cherkoff punches him between the legs

Pitka:Omarashiff MY BALLS!(doubles over), my BAWLS!!!!!!!!!! you prick

• I don't know what you're talking about. (coughs up feathers)

• THE ULTIMATE DISTRACTION!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

• Well, it looks more like Gay Skin. (laughs)

• I lied. She is still with Le Coq, and he still has the biggest Weiner in history.

• I WANNA SING!

• Go Speedy. Ride like a cowboy.

Guru Pitka's books

• Stop hitting yourself. Stop hitting yourself. Why are you still hitting yourself?

• What is this? A dead one of these.

• If you're happy and you know it think again.

• Does that hurt? Then don't do that.

Short Jokes

• Take it easy Frodo

• I'm sorry i didn't catch your gnome...NAME!

Hockey Night

First Broadcast

[Trent] Hey I'm Trent Lueders.

[Jay] And I'm Jay Kell. Tonight, is all about champions. But before we get going, I'd like to start by thanking my own personal champions, The Fans who helped me with their cards and letters through my recent addiction to Payote Buttons and Franjelico. I've already apologized to my friends, my family and my god. Now i would like to apologize to Dame Judy Dench for my Ruthless and Vicious attack, I'm sorry Judy, You did not deserve that and I hope the staples come out soon. Over to you Trent...

[Trent] [Pause as Trent stares at Jay with a bewildered look] Thanks Jay, Tonight. Toronto Maple Leaves Darren Roanoke is the center for our player profile.

[Jay] Hockey has it's legends, now the new one, Darren Roanoke. Known as the Tiger Woods of Hockey, Roanoke brought the sport to a whole new audience. A Role Model, Turned Bad Boy. He was in the perfect marriage, But before the play-offs he stunned the world by seperating from his wife prudence. From role Model, to dating models... [Stupid smile on Jay's face and a long pause] Roanoke found out his wife prudence was dating the legendary LA Kings French-Canadian Goalie Jacques "Le Coq" Grande. He earned his nickname for reasons that cannot be stated on this programme. [Short interview where Le Coq reveals his huge penis and scrotum to an Interviewer who says 'Holy ****'] That's when roanoke fell apart. [Clips of Roanoke getting beaten down in hockey games] But the question on everyone's mind is, Can the Leaves win without roanoke?