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"The Mansion Family"
The Simpsons episode
Episode no. 238
Prod. code BABF08
Orig. airdate January 23, 2000
Show runner(s) Mike Scully
Written by John Swartzwelder
Directed by Michael Polcino
Chalkboard "Class clown is not a paid position."
Couch gag Marge and Homer are children while Bart and Lisa are adults (and Maggie is a baby doll in Homer’s arms). Homer reaches for the remote control, but Lisa slaps it away from him.
Guest star(s) Britney Spears as herself
Mike Scully
George Meyer
Ron Hauge
Matt Selman
Tim Long
Michael Polcino
Donick Cary
Pete Michels

"The Mansion Family" is the twelfth episode of The Simpsons' eleventh season. The episode aired on January 23, 2000. This episode features the voice of Britney Spears as herself.


At the annual Springfield Pride Awards, which are hosted by Kent Brockman and Britney Spears, awards are given to prominent Springfield citizens for their achievements. They present the award for the oldest man in Springfield to Cornelius Chapman, a venerable 108-year-old man who built the first log cabin in Springfield, introduced the toothbrush to the city and helped people jump out of windows during 1929's stock market crash that led to the Great Depression). Chapman comes up to accept his award, but when Spears kisses him, he dies of a heart attack. Brockman tells Spears that they should have expected this, and through the process of elimination, they find the next oldest Springfieldian in the crowd; it's Mr. Burns. After winning, he realizes he is not a young man anymore, and he and Smithers go to the Mayo Clinic for a check-up. Burns decides give the Simpsons an opportunity to house sit Burns's private mansion while he is being tested for various diseases.

After enjoying life as a millionaire for a few days, Homer decides to throw a lavish party before Burns returns. He heads to Moe's to buy some beer and invite his friends to the party. However Moe informs Homer that he can not sell him alcohol on account of it being Sunday before 2pm. Moe also informs Homer that he could sail out to international waters where there are no laws and it would therefore be legal to sell alcohol. Homer agrees and they set sail in Burns's private yacht, with Homer bringing Moe, Lenny, Carl and a posse of others (including Bart) to get to international waters where they can do whatever they want.

Back at the Mayo Clinic, Burns discovers that he not only has all existing diseases (including pneumonia, juvenile diabetes and a little bit of hysterical pregnancy), but numerous other diseases the doctors apparently have just discovered in him. However, the sheer amount of diseases prevents any one disease from actually doing harm to him (a condition the doctors call "Three Stooges Syndrome"). This leads Burns to (incorrectly) conclude that he is indestructible.

Meanwhile, Homer's party boat is boarded by Chinese pirates who take the ship hostage as they head for 'Hidden Pirate Island' (aka Hong Kong). The pirates rob the crew and tie them up in a net which they then toss overboard. But to the luck of Homer and the other guests who happen to be on the top of the net, it floats and they avoid drowning. Eventually Homer and Bart make it back to the mansion where the family returns the house to Burns after Marge and Lisa managing to scrub "that old man smell" out of 137 rooms. Back at the Simpsons home, everyone is glad to live a normal life again - with the exception of Homer, who is upset that he does not actually live the lifestyle of rich people. The episode ends with Homer wailing about how rich everyone in the closing credits is (including the regular and guest voice actors, who "aren't as rich as they should be," according to Homer) and threatening to report them to the IRS.

Cultural references

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