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The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right  
Book Cover
The Rules book cover
Author Ellen Fein
Sherrie Schneider
Cover artist Diane Luger
Country USA
Language English
Subject(s) Relationships, Dating
Genre(s) Self-help
Publisher Grand Central Publishing,
(Warner Books)
Publication date 1995-02-14
Media type Print
Pages 192
ISBN 0-446-51813-1
OCLC Number 30915354
Dewey Decimal 646.7/7 20
LC Classification HQ801 .F44 1995
Followed by The Rules II: More Rules to Live and Love By

The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right is a controversial book writen about how to manipulate Mr. Right co-authored by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider.[1]

The book's basic premise is that in order to attract and marry the man of her dreams, a woman should play hard to get.[2] The authors promise satisfying relationships and happy marriages to those who follow their 35 specific rules,[2] A woman who follows "the rules" is called a Rules Girl.[1] The underlying philosophy of which is that women should not aggressively pursue men, but rather ought to get the men to pursue them.

The book was followed by The Rules II: More Rules to Live and Love By, The Rules For Marriage, The Rules for Online Dating, and All The Rules. In The Rules II (p. 60), published in 1997, Fein and Schneider proclaim, "If he doesn't call, he's not that interested. Period!"


The book generated much discussion upon its release. Some considered it useful and motivational, while others described it as outdated[3] and antifeminist[4], or a how-to guide that teaches women to play games and manipulate men.[5] Others noted that Fein was an accountant and Schneider a freelance journalist, i.e., without any professional qualification in the subject matter.[6] The authors admitted they were not professionals in an appearance on NBC's The Today Show.[2] They have countered criticism regarding their lack of credentials by citing the results of following The Rules from their personal knowledge.[2]

In 2001 the followup book The Rules for Marriage: Time-Tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work was released in the midst of Fein's legal separation from her husband.[6]. She subsequently divorced and married again eight years later.

The Rules

The Rules are predicated on the thesis that men want to pursue a woman and will become bored and eventually lose interest if a woman is too available or seems to pursue him.


  • Fein, Ellen; Schneider, Sherrie (1995). The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right. Warner Books. ISBN 0-446-51813-1. 
  1. ^ a b Gerston, Jill (1996-06-07). "So Many Rules, So Little Time". The New York Times. Retrieved 2008-06-08. "it will appear as the No.1 paperback on the New York Times best-seller list for advice, how-to, and miscellaneous books" 
  2. ^ a b c d "Playing hard to get is still the best way to get married, 'The Rules' book says - book 'The Rules: Time-Tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right' by Ellen Fein and Sherrie Schneider". Jet (Johnson Publishing). 1996-10-21. Retrieved 2008-06-08. 
  3. ^ Gleick, Elizabeth (1996-09-30). "Playing Hard To Get". Time Magazine.,9171,985233,00.html. Retrieved 2008-06-08. ""This is pretty old-fashioned stuff," says Brown, editor of Cosmopolitan" 
  4. ^ "The Rules for Marriage: Time-Tested Secrets for Making Your Marriage Work.(Review)". Library Journal. 2001-05-15. Retrieved 2008-06-08. "When it first came out, The Rules (1996) was attacked for being anti-feminist". 
  5. ^ Razer, Helen (2004-01-15). "The perky pursuit of Mr Right". The Age. Retrieved 2008-06-08. "The Rules is a set of tricks and gimmicks and it's about acting in a false way to attract men" 
  6. ^ a b Witchel, Alex (2001-05-06). "COUNTERINTELLIGENCE; 'Rules' Books Sell Millions, But Mr. Right Takes a Hike". The New York Times. Retrieved 2008-06-08. "Though the publisher is moving full speed ahead with a first printing ... Ms. Fein ... has filed for a legal separation from her husband of 16 years" 

Website for The Rules is:


Up to date as of January 23, 2010
(Redirected to Folkstyle Wrestling/Rules article)

From Wikibooks, the open-content textbooks collection

< Folkstyle Wrestling


The Objective

There are three basic victory conditions in a wrestling match:

  • Pinning your opponent (Win By Fall)
  • Scoring more points than your opponent in the time alotted (Win By Decision)
  • Scoring 15 points more than your opponent at any point during the match (Win By Technical Fall)
    • In team tournaments and meets, different points are awarded to the team, depending on whether or not a pin occurred, how large the point spread was at the end of the match one.

The Format

  • Three periods
    • Can be different amount of time for periods depending on the league
      • For College the Norm is usually 3-2-2
      • For High School the Norm is usually 2-2-2
      • For Modified and Youth the Norm is usually 1-1-1

The Four Positions

  • Neutral
  • Referee's Position
    • Top
      • Optional/Freestyle
    • Bottom

Ways to Score

There are 5 ways to score-

  • Takedown- Defined as taking opponent from feet to mat. This is worth 2 points.
  • Escape- Defined as escaping opponent's control and facing him. This is worth one point.
  • Reversal- Defined as coming from mat, and taking opponent to mat, in a single move/move combo, which is worth 2 points.
  • Nearfall- Points gained when opponent's back/shoulders break the 45 degree plane with respect to the mat for a duration of time. A two-four count awards you 2 points, then a 5 count awards you 3 points.
  • Riding Time-Defined as being in control on the mat, for a long period of time, usually used in collegiate wrestling. If one wrestler has more than 1 minute more of riding time than his opponent, he is awarded 1 point at the end of regulation time.


  • Stalling
    • Fleeing the mat
  • Slams
  • locking hands around waist on ground without 2points of body

Note:(When a wrestler lifts another off the mat, it is the lifting wrestler's responsibility to ensure the other's safe return to the mat.)

  • Locking hands strictly around an opponent's waist while on the mat.
  • Potentially Dangerous
    • Choking
    • Full Nelson
    • Body Figure Four
    • Head Scissors
    • Chicken wing (extended past a certain point)
    • Arm across the back above 90 Degrees
  • Unsportsmanlike conduct
    • Swearing
    • Striking
    • Unnecessary Roughness
    • Grabbing of the singlet
    • Throwing your headgear
    • physically hurting your opponent for revenge of previous match

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