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Two and a Half Men
Two and a Half Men-title.jpg
Title Card
Format Comedy
Created by Chuck Lorre
Lee Aronsohn
Starring Charlie Sheen
Jon Cryer
Angus T. Jones
Conchata Ferrell
Holland Taylor
Marin Hinkle
Jennifer Taylor[note 1]
Theme music composer Chuck Lorre
Lee Aronsohn
Country of origin United States
No. of seasons 7
No. of episodes 155 (List of episodes)
Production
Executive producer(s) Chuck Lorre
Lee Aronsohn
Eric Tannenbaum
Kim Tannenbaum
Mark Burg
Oren Koules

Don Foster
Susan Beavers
(seasons 6-present)
Eddie Gorodetsky
(seasons 6-present)
Mark Roberts (season 7-present)
Location(s) Malibu, California, United States (setting)
Warner Bros. Studios, Hollywood, California (filming location)
Camera setup Film; Multi-camera
Running time 22 minutes
Production company(s) Chuck Lorre Productions
The Tannenbaum Company
Warner Bros. Television
Broadcast
Original channel CBS
Picture format 480i (4:3 SDTV)
1080i (16:9 HDTV)
Original run September 22, 2003 (2003-09-22) – present
Status Production stopped temporarily
External links
Official website
Two and a Half Men is an American television comedy series which premiered on CBS on September 22, 2003. The sitcom stars Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer and Angus T. Jones. The show is about a hedonistic jingle writer, Charlie; his uptight brother, Alan; and Alan's young son, Jake. Charlie's free-wheeling life is complicated and altered when his brother gets divorced and moves, along with his son, into Charlie's beach-front house. .There have been six seasons of Two and a Half Men; the seventh season is currently showing.^ The retail trade of one dry-goods establishment in St. Louis now amounts to more than six million dollars annually, and there are two which boast a million, and four half-a-million each.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

CBS renewed the show for an additional three seasons.[1] .The show is consistently ranked one of the most watched comedies every season in the United States.^ Nashville was once one of the most famous towns in the United States.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ At last, encountering a mule-car, whose only occupant was the negro driver, I returned in it to the hotel, where I found that every one but the watchful clerk had retired.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Map showing the Cotton Region of the United States.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

In 2010, CBS Entertainment and Warner Bros. .Television reached a multi-year broadcast agreement for Two And Half Men, renewing the series through the 2011-12 season.^ Many men who had only been in Texas a year or two had already become rich, enhancing, at the same time, the value of property in the localities in which they had settled.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Any ship, however heavily loaded, can readily approach Pensacola at any season of the year, and can reach the open sea in a couple of hours.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ One of the two men died before he could be taken to hospital; the other shortly after reaching it, and the physicians hinted that they thought the disease the yellow fever.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

[2] In February 2010 it was announced that Charlie Sheen is entering rehab, so filming of the show will temporarily stop.[3]. Filming of the show will resume on March 16, 2010.[4]

Contents

Cast and characters

Current

.
  • Charlie Sheen as Charles Francis "Charlie" Harper, a hedonistic bachelor, jingle/children's song writer who tends to pick on his younger brother Alan, but ultimately loves him.^ The free children of parents who were born in slavery will look upon this song with a tearful interest: .
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    He is the exact opposite of his sibling: relaxed, carefree, and affluent. He loves his nephew Jake and gives him advice (much of which is not age-appropriate), but the two often trade barbs as well.
  • Jon Cryer as Dr. Alan Jerome Harper, Charlie's twice-divorced chiropractor brother, who is more conscientious than his brother, but continually stricken with bad luck and constantly teased by Charlie and Berta. After losing his house to his wife Judith in the divorce process, he resides with Charlie. .He is generally a nice and polite person, but seems to have a weakness for women who treat him poorly, which may stem from the non-nurturing relationship he had with his and Charlie's mother.^ The history of the infamy which, in the name of law, was perpetrated in New Orleans, in December of 1872, is well known to all who have taken any interest in general politics.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The blacks who went and came from the Governor's office seemed very intelligent, and some of them entered into general conversation in an interesting manner.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ When traveling through sparsely settled regions in many of the Southern States one may generally leave his personal property unprotected by lock or key.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    In the Season 4 episode, "Repeated Blows to his Unformed Head," it is revealed that Alan is a maieusiophile. .Also, in the Season 6 episode, "She'll Still Be Dead at Halftime", he confesses that he likes feet (see foot fetish).^ The Maryland hills rise to 2,000 feet above the level of the sea, and the others are still clad in primitive forests, where the foot of man seldom treads.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    .Alan is two years younger than Charlie, while in real life, Jon Cryer is a few months older than Charlie Sheen.^ In 1819 Christopher Graham went to Harrodsburg with a few dollars in his pocket, and for thirty-two years thereafter was the patron of the springs, bringing into the State more than $4,000,000, the expenditure of visitors from all parts of the world.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The St. Louis Hotel was very nearly destroyed by fire in 1840, but in less than two years was restored to its original splendor.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ This was a lawless section but a few years ago; now the security of life and property are as great as in any community in the world.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    Prior to Two and a Half Men, Cryer and Sheen appeared together in the 1991 comedy Hot Shots!. Cryer also won the 2009 Emmy award for best supporting actor in a comedy series.
  • Angus T. Jones as Jacob David "Jake" Harper, the underachieving son of Alan and Judith. He spends most of his free time playing video games, eating, watching television, playing guitar and sleeping. He is also an excellent poker player and a fairly good cook, but is a bit dim (although he is sometimes quite observant), which is a frequent theme of jokes about him. He clearly loves his father and uncle but is often surly toward them. In the intro Jake is lip-synching and the voice is that of a female singer and voice-over artist Elizabeth Daily.
  • Conchata Ferrell (starring season 2-current; recurring in season 1), as the sharp-tongued housekeeper Berta. .Although Berta's manner may be viewed as sarcastic, Alan and Charlie still treat her with a great deal of respect, and it is clear that the household cannot function properly without her.^ Naturally enough, they are in possession of a great deal which they cannot use.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    She has a sister named Daisy, played by Camryn Manheim, with whom she does not get along. .She also has three daughters and a number of granddaughters, who she herself states are "sleazy and easy" and whom she sometimes brings along to work.^ So feverish has become the railroad mania that there is a class who are in favor of an inhibition of State aid to works of internal improvement, and who .
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Large numbers of very good private schools are maintained in the State by those citizens who still disbelieve in free public tuition.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    A notable example was when she brought her teenage granddaughter Prudence, played by Megan Fox. She has been known to attend many Harper family functions when not working. She has served time in prison.
  • Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper, Charlie and Alan's conceited mother and Jake's grandmother. She expresses a superficial fondness for her sons and grandson, but she rarely lives up the self-perceived image that she is a devoted and misunderstood matriarch. Her sons and grandson generally return the favor and go out of their way to avoid interacting with her on most occasions. Her wide-ranging sex life is a recurring gag throughout the series. The family frequently refers to her as "the devil," (or how Charlie put it, "unholy mother of us") and Charlie has her number on his cell phone under the name "666." Apparently wealthy, she has been married numerous times and sells real estate.
  • Marin Hinkle as Judith Melnick, Alan's vindictive, self-absorbed, and humorless ex-wife. She seems to despise Alan and takes any chance to humiliate him. She was the first woman Alan ever slept with, but their marriage was cold: according to her, the only time she was ever happy being sexual was when she was pregnant with Jake. .She made no secret of living luxuriously with Alan's alimony.^ At Vinita, the junction has made no growth, because white men are not allowed to live there, and the Indians content themselves with agriculture and hunting.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    She has since remarried to Dr. Herb Melnick (Ryan Stiles), Jake's pediatrician, a union that brought joy to Alan because it meant he no longer had to pay alimony. In Season 6, she threw Herb out of the house and briefly reunited with Alan before reconciling with Herb, and it was later revealed she was pregnant with a daughter. .Alan hoped he was the father, but Judith said she would kill him if he revealed that he slept with her, and after she gave birth in the sixth season finale, the child's parentage remained uncertain.^ When I asked one of the superintendents why not, he smiled quaintly, and said: "Put a negro in one of those rooms with a hundred looms, and the noise would put him to sleep."
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ One Indian gave as his reason for not wishing to get rich the torments which his relatives, in case he married, would cause him.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The women now on the same plantations where they had been owned as slaves gave birth to only one child where they had previously borne three.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    Jake and Berta believe that Milly looks more like Alan than Judith or Herb.
The main cast of Two and a Half Men, from left to right: Melanie Lynskey as Rose, Conchata Ferrell as Berta, Charlie Sheen as Charlie Harper, Holland Taylor as Evelyn Harper, Angus T. Jones as Jake Harper, Jon Cryer as Alan Harper, and Marin Hinkle as Judith Melnick

Former

  • April Bowlby (recurring season 3; starring season 4) as Kimber, then Kandi, was initially Charlie's gorgeous, young, extremely dim-witted girlfriend who subsequently became involved with Alan. When Judith tried to end Kandi's relationship with Alan, Kandi's mother Mandi (Gail O'Grady), who also had a brief fling with Charlie during that time, made sure the couple were dating again. .Kandi and Alan had a superficial relationship based mostly on sex, but they eventually wed in Las Vegas, where they also won half a million bucks.^ Dream Day Wedding: Viva Las Vegas Cheats .
    • GameZone Forums - Fairly Odd Parents: Clash with the Anti-World 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC forums.gamezone.com [Source type: General]

    .After only four months of marriage, and Kandi spending nearly all of their winnings, she and Alan separated.^ It had seven air-chambers, with thirteen girders, and nearly 200 workmen were employed on it for four months in reaching to the rock-bed in the stream.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ At all these springs fine hotels have been built, and as the season wanes at one it waxes at another, so that one may make a jolly round for three or four months.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    When Kandi was offered a role on a CSI-spoof drama (Bowlby previously appeared in both CSI and CSI: NY), she finally signed their divorce papers and hasn't been seen since. Actress April Bowlby also appeared as another character named Kimber earlier on in the series prior to the starring role of Kandi. It has been said by creator Chuck Lorre that the character of Kandi may return sometime in season seven. "We're toying with the idea," Lorre said. "We've already got about five scripts for episodes that may see the return of Kandi, but we're still looking at it." April Bowlby has said that she would definitely show interest in reprising the role of the dim-witted Kandi.[citation needed]

Recurring

.
  • Melanie Lynskey (starring seasons 1–2; recurring seasons 3–current) as their neighbor and friend (or as Charlie would say his stalker) Rose, another of Charlie's one-night stands and neighbor who became his stalker.^ "One night a man lost all he had at keno; so he went around behind the tent and tried to shoot the keno-dealer in the back; he missed him, but killed another man.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ People who wish to keep in their hands what little property now remains to them are compelled in one manner or another to pay up.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Formerly, the guest would have been presented to planters who would have entertained him for days, in royal style, and who would have sent him forward in their own carriages, commended to the hospitality of their neighbors.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    In the pilot, she told Alan that she "sneaks into Charlie's room while he's asleep and tries on his underwear", disturbing Alan. Frequently unannounced and uninvited, Rose usually enters and exits Charlie's house by climbing onto the backyard deck and easily bypassing the locks. She has even been caught by Charlie and Alan as she watched them sleeping on several occasions. After season 4, she left the country and appeared on the show only rarely. .In Season 6, she became friends with Charlie's fiancee Chelsea and went on a blind date with Alan; the two began dating before Rose evinced the same jealousy and possessiveness towards Alan that she had applied towards Charlie, right down to gluing things to his nether regions.^ He had not been long in Mexico before he began to dominate the native Mexican Indians; and the Comanches joining with them, they soon had things their own way in their new home.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Page 190 upside down, would compel the vigorous "bull-whackers" to shout themselves hoarse in their efforts to right things.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    Rose was seen to be stalking Alan, but it is possible that she is stalking both Alan and Charlie. Although she is somewhat mentally unhinged and obsessed with Charlie, Rose expressed that she "has an undergraduate degree from Princeton University and a master's degree in behavioral psychology from Stanford University." Throughout the series, Rose has applied her knowledge of interpersonal communication towards the various situations that arise. Her family is involved in banking and oil, making them, and implicitly her, extremely wealthy. .Martin Sheen, who is Charlie Sheen's real-life father, made a guest-appearance on the show as Rose's equally-disturbed father.^ Life is somewhat barren and unattractive to the man who, after a laborious season spent in cultivating one staple, finds that, after all, he has only made a living out of it.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    .She also has five ferrets, all named "Charlie", as was revealed in Season 2's "The Salmon Under My Sweater".
  • Jennifer Taylor (recurring season 6-current[5]) as Chelsea[note 1], Charlie's girlfriend for most of season six, who has moved into his house by the season's end.^ The "Association for the Improvement of the Condition of the Poor" has the most prominent of the citizens enrolled upon its books, and all who are worthy objects of charity receive prompt assistance.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The rough farmers who had spent a whole season in cultivating a crop packed it tightly into a cask, then drove a long wooden spike into the centre of each end of the compressed mass.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The schools are grouped in houses holding six hundred pupils each, and are divided into six grades of primary and four of grammar, with an advanced high school grade.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    .Formerly a one-night stand, Chelsea seems to be one of the few women out of Charlie's countless relationships that has caused him to try to make positive changes in his debaucherous lifestyle.^ "One night a man lost all he had at keno; so he went around behind the tent and tried to shoot the keno-dealer in the back; he missed him, but killed another man.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Everywhere Nature seems to have thrown out barriers, and to have determined to prevent one from entering her favorite retreat.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The horse seems to enjoy the sport, bracing himself as the animal makes a few angry struggles, and then gallops rapidly once more away.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    She has become close friends with Alan, something Charlie enjoys because Alan can go to museums and foreign films (activities that Charlie cannot stand). In the seventh season premiere, Charlie finally decides to let go of Mia and commit to Chelsea. As the season progresses they plan to be married but, after Chelsea becomes attracted to Alan's lawyer and Charlie vomits on a baby, Chelsea postpones the wedding. In Season 7 Charlie and Chelsea have a post-breakup one-night stand. While credited among the main cast during the seventh season, CBS press releases bill her as a recurring character.
  • Ryan Stiles (recurring season 2 onward) as pediatrician Dr. Herb Melnick, Judith's goofy, train-hobbyist husband and Jake's stepfather. He first appeared as Judith's date in Season 2's episode 2 ("Enjoy Those Garlic Balls"), but due to an inconsistency in the storyline, his name was referred to as being "Greg Melnick." .Though he is married to uptight Judith, he is a laid-back guy, and he seems to get along with Alan, Jake and Charlie.^ Its actual source no man knows, though it seems to be formed by a myriad of small streams pouring out of the unexplored region along the Indian river.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    He seems to envy aspects of the Harper brothers' lives, such as Charlie's partying and the fact that Alan was married to a girl like Kandi. He has stated that he likes spending time with them, and called Charlie "a little loosie-goosie with the liquor and the ladies, but all-in-all a good fella" (which did not impress Judith).
  • Jane Lynch as Dr. Linda Freeman, initially as Jake's, then as Charlie's and Alan's psychologist. Often when Charlie or Alan are just getting to the root of their problem, Dr. Freeman notes that the area is interesting, "but, unfortunately, we're out of time." She prides herself as a guesser and is quite sarcastic, especially with Charlie. .A recurring gag is her frequent overbilling, once charging Charlie a full hour fee ($200) for 5 minutes of consultation and another time saying she would charge Charlie $7 a minute, but she does really help Charlie and Alan in most cases.^ The fears that the levées along the Mississippi would not be able always to resist the great body of water bearing and wearing upon them have several times been realized.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ From the time when the Ursuline nuns took charge of it under Bienville until now it has been one of the most beneficent charities in the country.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Another feature has been added to the festivities, one which promises in time to be most attractive of all.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    During her sessions with Jake, Dr. Freeman displays a rather quirky demeanor and is noted for her use of a cow hand puppet. .She has appeared at least once or twice in all seasons except season 2.
  • J. D. Walsh as Gordon, a pizza delivery guy who appeared in seasons 1-3 and season six onwards.^ Life is somewhat barren and unattractive to the man who, after a laborious season spent in cultivating one staple, finds that, after all, he has only made a living out of it.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    .During the third season he had a brief relationship with Rose, who forced him to dress like Charlie and yell his name during sex.^ The Mississippian wealth of roses is inconceivable to him who has not visited such gardens as Brown's, in Natchez-under-the-Hill, and that of Mr. Shields, in the suburbs of the upper town.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ The wretched slave was like a blind man who heard around him tumult and struggle, and who constantly cried aloud for light, for the power of vision.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    After their break-up he disappeared from the show, but returned in season six, again as a pizza delivery guy. .He revealed how he became a millionaire on the stock market, got married and subsequently divorced and then lost all his money to his ex-wife, forcing him to return to pizza delivery.^ "One night a man lost all he had at keno; so he went around behind the tent and tried to shoot the keno-dealer in the back; he missed him, but killed another man.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ While governor of Tennessee, in 1829, he suddenly separated from his newly married wife, resigned his high office, and returned to his friends the Cherokees.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    .He looks up to Charlie, often calling him a genius.
  • James Edson as Bobby (also known as Stéphane in season 1), the waiter/host at the local fancy restaurant where Charlie and Alan have gone on dates since Season 2. Bobby has a general liking for the Harper brothers, agrees with most of the things they say and has always slipped in his opinion of the women they go out with.^ They often compared themselves to the Israelites, and many of their most touching songs have some allusion to King Pharaoh and the hardness of his heart.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Around them are always lounging crowds of negro men and women, as if they delighted to linger in the atmosphere of government and law, to the powers and responsibilities of which they have lately been introduced.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    ^ If the brother or sister under conviction cannot say this phrase exactly, the preachers and deacons will tell them that they are not yet out of the wilderness, and will refuse to admit them to religious communion.
    • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

    He was the first one to point out that Lydia was a lot like Evelyn.

Notable guest stars

Guest stars have included:
.As part of a crossover from the writers and executive producer of CSI: Crime Scene Investigation, George Eads made a brief cameo appearance on the May 5, 2008 episode.^ CSI: Crime Scene Investigation Dark Motives Cheats .
  • GameZone Forums - Fairly Odd Parents: Clash with the Anti-World 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC forums.gamezone.com [Source type: General]

^ CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Hard Evidence Cheats .
  • GameZone Forums - Fairly Odd Parents: Clash with the Anti-World 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC forums.gamezone.com [Source type: General]

^ CSI: Crime Scene Investigation: Deadly Intent Cheats .
  • GameZone Forums - Fairly Odd Parents: Clash with the Anti-World 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC forums.gamezone.com [Source type: General]

[6]
Charlie Sheen's real-life brother Emilio Estevez has guest-starred as an old friend of Charlie's;[7] his father Martin Sheen has appeared as Rose's father. Sam Sheen, the real-life daughter of Denise Richards and Charlie Sheen, has appeared as Lisa's daughter.[citation needed]

Episodes

As of 2009, six seasons have been broadcast and the show has been renewed for three more seasons.[1] Each episode is titled with a quotation from it. .The show's 100th episode ("City of Great Racks") aired on October 15, 2007. To celebrate this, a casino-inspired party was held at West Hollywood's Pacific Design Center.^ As the eastern terminus of the great Texan cattle roads of the West alone, Kansas City can become one of the largest cities in the West.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

[8] Warner Brothers Television also distributed blue Micargi Rover bicycles adorned with the Two and a Half Men logo along with the words "100 Episodes." Each bicycle came with a note saying "You've made us very proud. Here's to a long ride together."[8] The cast also gifted the crew with sterling silver key rings from Tiffany & Co. .The key rings were attached to small pendants with "100" inscribed on one side and Two and a Half Men on the other.^ Two centre arches of each span are thirteen feet nine and a-half inches apart from centre to centre, and the upper member of one arch is secured to the lower one of the other by a system of diagonal bracing.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The permanent school fund for the State is more than two and one-half millions, and an additional annual income is derived from numerous sources.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The town is said to take its name from a small rock on the west side of the stream,--the first one encountered on that side from the mouth of the Mississippi to that point,--so level is the alluvial.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

.Season 7 premiered on Monday, September 21, 2009 at 9:00 pm ET.[9] CBS ordered 24 episodes for the season, but due to Charlie Sheen's personal life in recent months, production has been suspended (with only one episode left to air).^ Life is somewhat barren and unattractive to the man who, after a laborious season spent in cultivating one staple, finds that, after all, he has only made a living out of it.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Half-Life 2: Episode One Cheats .
  • GameZone Forums - Fairly Odd Parents: Clash with the Anti-World 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC forums.gamezone.com [Source type: General]

^ Sam & Max: Season 2: Episode One: Ice Station Santa Cheats .
  • GameZone Forums - Fairly Odd Parents: Clash with the Anti-World 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC forums.gamezone.com [Source type: General]

Whether the remaining six episodes are produced will depend on when Sheen is released from rehab.[10]

Crossover with CSI

"When Chuck pitched the idea to me ... I thought it was an intriguing idea and walked into Naren's office and he said, 'What a nut.'"
- Carol Mendelsohn[11]
.In 2007, Two and a Half Men creator Chuck Lorre contacted CSI: Crime Scene Investigation executive producer Carol Mendelsohn about a crossover.^ But out of forty thousand children enrolled upon the public school list, only about two and a-half per cent.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The fort stands on the Grand river, about two and a-half miles from its confluence with the Arkansas, and is only twenty-one miles from Tahlequah, the capital of the Cherokees.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The village maidens are walking two by two with their arms about each others' waists, and crooning little melodies, and the men are smoking long pipes at the gates.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

.At first, the idea seemed unlikely to receive approval; however, it resurfaced when Mendelsohn and Lorre were at the World Television Festival in Canada and they decided to get approval and run with it.^ They have sound sense, and some idea of manners, seem well-inclined toward their employers, and appear to appreciate their own defects.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Many of the lowland negroes were firmly impressed, when first called to use the ballot, that they were to gain property by it, and great numbers of them still have an idea that they have been defrauded of what they were entitled to.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

[11] .Even though the casts' eyebrows raised when they heard about the crossover, they all jumped on board.^ They were lively and gay; "all novelties in fashion, ornament and dress were quickly introduced, and even the spirit of luxury and extravagance, too common in England," was beginning to creep among them.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ "And while they chatter like monkeys, even about politics, they gesticulate violently" .
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ A good many people fancy that, in going to Florida, they are about to absent themselves from all the accessories of civilization,--that they must undergo considerable privation.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

.When Mendelsohn was giving a talk, she accidentally mentioned the crossover, that same day Variety Magazine was already inquiring about the crossover episodes.^ I quote the following specimens of negro talk from the volume published by the teachers mentioned above, as it gives, better than any one else has been able to show, the peculiarities of this remarkable dialect.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

.Mendelsohn later stated: "We're all used to being in control and in charge of our own shows and even though this was a freelance-type situation ...^ The institution is under the perpetual control of a board of trustees composed of the bishops of the various Southern States, the senior bishop being, ex officio, Chancellor of the University.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ On these grounds they object to paying all the expenses of levée building in their own State; and they are supported by able scientists.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ A Governor stands charged by men of his own party with spending nearly $400,000 of the public money to get himself re-chosen.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

there was an expectation and also a desire on all of our parts to really have a true collaboration. You have to give a little. It was sort of a life lesson, I think[11]." "The biggest challenge for us was doing a comedy with a murder in it. .Generally our stories are a little lighter," stated Lorre in an interview.^ Little Rock was for many years the home of General Albert Pike, the noted Confederate general and poet, and his mansion is pointed out with pride by the people of the State.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The little ship of State was afterward launched and navigated down Chesapeake bay to the mouth of the Potomac and thence to Mount Vernon, where it was presented to General Washington.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

"Would our audience go with a dead body in it? .There was a moment where it could have gone either way.^ But in the back-country, so far as I could learn, there are neither school-houses, schools, nor sentiment in favor of either.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Cherokee and missionary have gone their ways together; there is not one to be encountered in .
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ There is the play-bill, in French, of course; and there are the typical Creole ladies, stopping for a moment to glance at it as they wend their way shopward.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

I think the results were spectacular. It turned out to be a really funny episode.[11]" "Fish in a Drawer" was the first part of the crossover to air, on May 5, 2008, and was written by Sarah Goldfinger, Evan Dunsky, Carol Mendelsohn and Naren Shankar.[12] .George Eads is the only CSI: Crime Scene Investigation main cast member to make a cameo on Two and a Half Men.^ But out of forty thousand children enrolled upon the public school list, only about two and a-half per cent.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Many men who had only been in Texas a year or two had already become rich, enhancing, at the same time, the value of property in the localities in which they had settled.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The fort stands on the Grand river, about two and a-half miles from its confluence with the Arkansas, and is only twenty-one miles from Tahlequah, the capital of the Cherokees.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

.Three days later (May 8, 2008) the second part of the crossover, "Two and a Half Deaths" aired, following Gil Grissom (William Petersen) as he investigates the murder of a sitcom diva named Annabelle (Katey Sagal), who was found murdered while she was filming her show in Las Vegas, Nevada;[12] Sheen, Cryer, and Jones all made cameos in this episode as themselves smoking a cigars in their plate.^ New discoveries of zinc ore are daily made in all sections; cobalt, nickel, manganese, tin, and marble are also found.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The men found that by two or three days' work they could procure money enough to support them in idleness the next week, and sometimes the overseers were at a loss what to do for help.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Our artists, who made the tour of the New river cañon in a batteau, found it an exciting experience.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

Awards and nominations

The show has received multiple award nominations. It was nominated for 30 Primetime Emmy Award nominations (winning four technical awards), and two Golden Globe nominations. The show won the "Favorite TV Comedy" award at the 35th People's Choice Awards.

Primetime Emmy Awards

Year Category Nominee Result
2004 Outstanding Main Title Theme Music Lee Aronsohn, Grant Geissman, Chuck Lorre Nominated
Outstanding Cinematography For A Multi-Camera Series Steven V. Silver
for "Camel Filters And Pheremones"
Nominated
Outstanding Art Direction For A Multi-Camera Series John Shaffner, Ann Shea
for "Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor"
Nominated
2005 Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series Holland Taylor
as "Evelyn Harper"
Nominated
Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series Conchata Ferrell
as "Berta"
Nominated
Outstanding Multi-camera Sound Mixing For A Series Or Special Robert LaMasney, Charlie McDaniel, Kathy Oldham, Bruce Peters
for "Can You Eat Human Flesh With Wooden Teeth?"
Won
Outstanding Multi-camera Picture Editing For A Series Joe Bella
for "It Was Mame, Mom"
Nominated
Outstanding Cinematography For A Multi-camera Series Steven Silver
for "Back Off, Mary Poppins"
Nominated
Outstanding Art Direction For A Multi-camera Series John Shaffner, Ann Shea
for "It Was 'Mame' Mom"/"A Low, Guttural Tongue Flapping Noise"
Nominated
2006 Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series Jon Cryer
as "Alan Harper"
Nominated
Outstanding Multi-camera Sound Mixing For A Series Or Special Bob La Masney, Charlie McDaniel, Kathy Oldham, Bruce Peters
for "The Unfortunate Little Schnauzer"
Nominated
Outstanding Multi-camera Picture Editing For A Series Joe Bella
for "That Special Tug"
Won
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series Charlie Sheen
as "Charlie Harper"
Nominated
Outstanding Guest Actor In A Comedy Series Martin Sheen
as "Harvey"
Nominated
Outstanding Comedy Series Nominated
Outstanding Cinematography For A Multi-camera Series Steven V. Silver
for "Carpet Burns And A Bite Mark"
Nominated
2007 Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series Holland Taylor
as "Evelyn Harper"
Nominated
Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series Conchata Ferrell
as "Berta"
Nominated
Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series Jon Cryer
as "Alan Harper"
Nominated
Outstanding Multi-camera Picture Editing For A Series Joe Bella
for "Release The Dogs"
Won
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series Charlie Sheen
as "Charlie Harper"
Nominated
Outstanding Comedy Series Nominated
Outstanding Cinematography For A Multi-camera Series Steven Silver
for "Release The Dogs"
Won
2008 Outstanding Supporting Actress In A Comedy Series Holland Taylor
as "Evelyn Harper"
Nominated
Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series Jon Cryer
as "Alan Harper"
Nominated
Outstanding Sound Mixing For A Comedy Or Drama Series (half-hour) And Animation Bruce Peters, Kathy Oldham, Charlie McDaniel, Bob La Masney
for "Is There A Mrs. Waffles?"
Nominated
Outstanding Makeup For A Multi-camera Series Or A Special (non-prosthetic) Janice Berridge, Peggy Nichols, Shelly Woodhouse-Collins, Gabriel Solana
for "City Of Great Racks"
Nominated
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series Charlie Sheen
as "Charlie Harper"
Nominated
Outstanding Hairstyling For A Multi-camera Series Or A Special Pixie Schwartz, Krista Borrelli, Ralph M. Abalos, Janice Zoladz
for "City Of Great Racks"
Nominated
Outstanding Comedy Series Nominated
2009 Outstanding Supporting Actor In A Comedy Series Jon Cryer
as "Alan Harper"
Won
Outstanding Lead Actor In A Comedy Series Charlie Sheen
as "Charlie Harper"
Nominated

Golden Globe Awards

Year Category Nominee Result
2004 Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series - Musical or Comedy Charlie Sheen
as "Charlie Harper"
Nominated
2005 Best Performance by an Actor in a Television Series – Musical or Comedy Charlie Sheen
as "Charlie Harper"
Nominated

Screen Actors Guild Awards

Year Category Nominee Result
2005 Screen Actors Guild Award for Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a Comedy Series Charlie Sheen
as "Charlie Harper"
Nominated
2010 Outstanding Performance by a Male Actor in a comedy series Charlie Sheen
as "Charlie Harper"
Nominated

Syndication

.It was announced that FX would start airing Two and a Half Men in late 2010. The show is also in syndication on local channels.^ Many men who had only been in Texas a year or two had already become rich, enhancing, at the same time, the value of property in the localities in which they had settled.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ It would, I think, be perfectly fair to say that not half-a-dozen white men have been hung in the South since the war, for the murder of negroes.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The new channels will permit the approach to the city at low water of vessels drawing from twenty-two and a-half to twenty-three feet; and at high water, of those drawing twenty-four to twenty-five feet.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

American television ratings

Seasonal rankings (based on average total viewers per episode) of Two and a Half Men on CBS.
Note: Each U.S. network television season starts in late September and ends in late May, which coincides with the completion of May sweeps.
Season Timeslot Season Premiere Season Finale TV Season Ranking Viewers
(in millions)
1st[13] Mondays 9:30 pm/8:30c September 22, 2003 May 24, 2004 2003–2004 #15 15.3
2nd[14] Mondays 9:30 pm/8:30c September 20, 2004 May 23, 2005 2004–2005 #11 16.5
3rd[15] Mondays 9:00 pm/8c September 19, 2005 May 22, 2006 2005–2006 #17 15.1
4th[16] Mondays 9:00 pm/8c September 18, 2006 May 14, 2007 2006–2007 #19 14.4
5th[17] Mondays 9:00 pm/8c September 24, 2007 May 19, 2008 2007–2008 #16 13.6
6th[18] Mondays 9:00 pm/8c September 22, 2008 May 18, 2009 2008–2009 #10 15.1
7th[19] Mondays 9:00 pm/8c September 21, 2009 May 2010 2009–2010 #12 15.2
For the week ending December 21, 2008 (which episode featured a cameo by Emilio Estevez), the series was first in households (10.7), with viewers (17.92M), with adults 25–54 (7.3) and with adults 18–49 (5.7). It was the series' best delivery in households and adults 18–49 since February 5, 2007 (the night after the 2007 Super Bowl), with adults 25–54 since February 27, 2006, and viewers since May 16, 2005 (the night of the Everybody Loves Raymond series finale). This is the largest audience for the series in the 9:00 pm time slot.[citation needed].

DVD releases

DVD Name Ep # Region 1 Region 2 Region 4
The Complete First Season 24 September 11, 2007 September 12, 2005 February 15, 2006
The Complete Second Season 24 January 8, 2008 August 28, 2006 September 6, 2006
The Complete Third Season 24 May 13, 2008 May 19, 2008 July 23, 2008
The Complete Fourth Season 24 September 23, 2008 October 6, 2008 October 8, 2008
The Complete Fifth Season 19 May 12, 2009 April 13, 2009 July 1, 2009[20]
The Complete Sixth Season 24 September 8, 2009 October 19, 2009[21] March 3, 2010[22]
The Complete Seventh Season 24[23] TBA TBA TBA
Season 1 Extras
  • Two Adults, One Kid, No Grown-Ups – behind the scenes with the cast and crew.
  • Backstage tour with Angus T. Jones.
  • Gag reel.
Season 2 Extras
  • 2½ Days in the Life of 2½ – viewers are invited for a behind-the-scenes look at a typical day in the life of cast members Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones.
  • The Serious Business of Writing Comedy – a hilarious look at what it really takes to write a comedy show.
  • Gag reel.
Season 3 Extras
  • Gag reel.
Season 4 Extras
  • Two men talking about Two and a Half Men – Creators Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn talk about the show.
  • "Tucked, Taped and Gorgeous" commentary with Chuck Lorre and Lee Aronsohn.
  • "Mr. McGlue's Feedbag" commentary with Charlie Sheen, Jon Cryer, and Angus T. Jones.
  • Gag reel.
Season 5 Extras[24]
  • Two and a Half Men at 100 – featurette on the show's 100th episode.
  • The Lore of Chuck Lorre: Must Pause TV – the genesis and evolution of his vanity cards at the end of each episode.
  • Dying Is Easy, Comedy Is Hard – chronicling the crossover episodes between writing teams of Two and a Half Men and CSI: Crime Scene Investigation.
  • Bonus episode: CSI: Crime Scene Investigation – "Two and a Half Deaths."
Season 6 Extras
  • Growing Up Harper - The evolution of Jake Harper and the actor who portrays him, Angus T. Jones
  • The Women of "Two and a Half Men" - Interviews with the women
  • Gag reel

Two and a Half Wits

.A caricatured version of the characters from Two and a Half Men, called Two and a Half Wits, was placed in MAD Magazine issue #450. The artwork was done by artist Tom Richmond, who, himself, found the show very amusing.^ The Governor was himself disgusted with such manoeuvres, and gradually showed a leaning toward the respectable Conservatives, who now and then gathered around him.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ A visit to the Capitol showed me that the negroes, who form considerably more than half the population of Mississippi, had certainly secured a fair share of the offices.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Our artists, who made the tour of the New river cañon in a batteau, found it an exciting experience.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

[25] .The show's creator, Chuck Lorre, was very excited about Two and a Half Men being in MAD Magazine.^ But out of forty thousand children enrolled upon the public school list, only about two and a-half per cent.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The village maidens are walking two by two with their arms about each others' waists, and crooning little melodies, and the men are smoking long pipes at the gates.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The fort stands on the Grand river, about two and a-half miles from its confluence with the Arkansas, and is only twenty-one miles from Tahlequah, the capital of the Cherokees.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

Before the issue was published, he contacted MAD Magazine for the original artwork.[25]

Notes

  1. ^ a b Prior to appearing as the main character Chelsea from season 6 onwards, Jennifer Taylor had appeared briefly in four previous episodes as three different minor characters: as Suzanne in the series' pilot (season 1), as Tina in "Last Chance to See Those Tattoos" (season 2), and as Nina in "Our Leather Gear Is in the Guest Room" (season 5).

References

  1. ^ a b http://www.hollywoodreporter.com/hr/content_display/news/e3i43b2ec4937929a5062699bf1c78a3a51
  2. ^ http://www.thefutoncritic.com/listings.aspx?id=20100225cbs13
  3. ^ http://voices.washingtonpost.com/tvblog/2010/02/two-and-a-half-men-shut-down-w.html
  4. ^ http://omg.yahoo.com/news/charlie-sheen-returning-to-work-next-tuesday/37179
  5. ^ http://www.thefutoncritic.com/listings.aspx?id=20090826cbs18
  6. ^ Rice, Lynette (2008-04-12). "George Eads to cameo on 'Two and a Half Men'". Entertainment Weekly. http://hollywoodinsider.ew.com/2008/04/george-eads-cam.html. Retrieved 2008-04-24. 
  7. ^ Two Brothers to Team on Two and a Half Men" TV Guide. November 6, 2008. Retrieved on November 7, 2008.
  8. ^ a b Santiago, Rosario (2007-09-11). "'Two and a Half Men' Marks Pair of Milestones". BuddyTV. http://www.buddytv.com/articles/two-and-a-half-men/two-and-a-half-men-marks-pair-10671.aspx. Retrieved 2008-02-14. 
  9. ^ Matt Mitovich (24 June 2009). "Fall TV: CBS Announces Premiere Dates". TV Guide Online. http://www.tvguide.com/News/FallTV-CBS-premieres-1007227.aspx. Retrieved 2009-06-24. 
  10. ^ http://adage.com/mediaworks/article?article_id=142273
  11. ^ a b c d ""Two & A Half Men" & "CSI" Make TV History". Show Writers Teamed Up, Swapped Scripts To Create Crossover Episodes (Showbuzz). 2008-04-05. http://www.showbuzz.cbsnews.com/stories/2008/05/05/tv/main4072701.shtml. Retrieved 2008-04-31. 
  12. ^ a b DeLeon, Kris (2008-04-24). "'CSI' and 'Two and a Half Men' Crossover Previews". BuddyTV. http://www.buddytv.com/articles/csi/csi-and-two-and-a-half-men-cro-18859.aspx. Retrieved 2008-05-31. 
  13. ^ "CBS Wins Season". E!Online. May 25, 2001. http://www.wndu.com/entertainment/052001/entertainment_7900.php. 
  14. ^ "CSI Replaces ER As Season Champ". IMDB. amazon. http://www.imdb.com/news/sb/2002-05-20#tv2. Retrieved 2006-09-16. 
  15. ^ Ryan, Joal. "TV Season Wraps; 'CSI' Rules". E! Online. http://www.eonline.com/news/article/index.jsp?uuid=2c7a48e7-bd06-4a73-9311-0bab5caf4ef1. Retrieved 2006-09-16. 
  16. ^ Viewership numbers of primetime programs during the 2003-04 television season
  17. ^ Viewership numbers of primetime programs during the 2004-05 television season
  18. ^ http://www.abcmedianet.com/web/dnr/dispDNR.aspx?id=052709_07
  19. ^ http://www.zap2it.com/tv/ratings/zap-nielsen-season,0,7096762,results.formprofile?SortBy=cdb_01_num+%2Ccdb_05_txt+&PageSize=50&Page=1&Query=*
  20. ^ http://www.jbhifionline.com.au/Product/432421/TWO-AND-A-HALF-MEN-(Season-5)-(3-DVD-Set)
  21. ^ http://2halfmen.com/story/245/Season-6-DVD-delayed-in-the-UK/
  22. ^ "Two and a Half Men - The Complete 6th Season (4 Disc Set)". EzyDVD. http://www.ezydvd.com.au/item.zml/807895. Retrieved 2010-02-16. 
  23. ^ http://ausiellofiles.ew.com/2009/11/04/this-just-in-cbs-trims-numb3rs-episode-order/
  24. ^ Amazon.com: Two and a Half Men: The Complete Fifth Season
  25. ^ a b Richmond, Tom. "The Wall of Shame, Part Deux". Two and a Half Men in Mad Magazine. Tom's MAD Blog. http://www.tomrichmond.com/blog/?p=254. Retrieved 2008-05-27. 

External links

.

Quotes

Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

.Two and a Half Men (2003 – present) is a TV series is centered around a hip single bachelor whose lifestyle is interrupted when his newly separated brother and his son move in.^ Two and a Half Men 7×1: 818-jklpuzo .
  • Two and a Half Men 7×8: Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. | Dude Videos! 7 January 2010 14:13 UTC videos.repph.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Two and a Half Men: Season 04 .
  • Two and a Half Men Television show - Two and a Half Men TV Show - Yahoo! TV 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Two and a Half Men Television show - Two and a Half Men TV Show - Yahoo! TV 7 January 2010 14:13 UTC ca.tv.yahoo.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Two and a Half Men 7×3: Mmm, fish.
  • Two and a Half Men 7×8: Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. | Dude Videos! 7 January 2010 14:13 UTC videos.repph.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Contents

Individual Quotes

Charlie

.
  • The kid plays, and I have a date.^ The kid plays, and I have a date.
    • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Jake : I don't want a play date with some stupid kid just so you can have sex with her!
    • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    .Everybody wins.

  • I'll admit you're kookie, Judith.^ I'll admit you're kookie, Judith.
    • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
    • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

    ^ Whether you use this document as a reference when things get difficult or as a road map to get you from beginning to end, we’re pretty sure you’ll find what you’re looking for here.
    • Drawn: The Painted Tower ™ Walkthrough | Big Fish Games Blog 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC www.bigfishgames.com [Source type: General]

    ^ For winning the badminton game, you'll receive a pound of ground beef and a quarter cup of water.
    • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
    • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

    But compared to our mother you're like a fart in a hurricane.

  • Oh come on, I throw up all the time, it's just nature's way of saying "Everybody out of the pool".

  • A clueless woman is a happy woman.

  • I have a bad feeling.

Season 1

Original Pilot [0.0]

Pilot [1.0]

.Charlie: How did you get in my house?^ How about you my dear?
  • Teen Titans : The Lost Season - toonzone forums 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC forums.toonzone.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ How did you come to that conclusion?
  • animated Teen Titans vs. X-Men: Evolution [Archive] - Comic Book Resources Forums 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC forums.comicbookresources.com [Source type: Original source]

^ WASHINGTON How did you discover this?
  • GEORGE WASHINGTON: A War Breaks Out by Sanderson Beck 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC san.beck.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Okay, Charlie, the key in the fake rock only works if it's among other rocks, not-- not sitting on your welcome mat!^ Alan : Okay, Charlie, the key in the fake rock only works if it's among other rocks, not-- not sitting on your welcome mat!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan takes a job working for Evelyn; Charlie must mend Chelsea and Jake's rocky relationship.
  • Two and a Half Men 7×8: Gorp. Fnark. Schmegle. | Dude Videos! 7 January 2010 14:13 UTC videos.repph.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ If you do not agree, it can only be because you would like to have your ideas and beliefs forced on others, and that makes you a tool.
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

.Charlie: Excuse me, but if you put the fake rock in with a bunch of other rocks, it's impossible to find when you're drunk.^ Charlie : You're telling me this now?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You're kidding.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You're not a gangsta, either.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: Look, OK, this is just until things settle out.^ Alan : Look, OK, this is just until things settle out.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Shirley: [sarcastically] Yes, Alan, I went out and recruited a cannibal just to get close to you.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan finds out that Myra was sleeping with Charlie] Alan : OK, um, let me just start, uh, by saying I applaud the, uh, the gusto with which you approach life.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.A couple of days max.^ A couple of days max.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

She will come to her senses.
.Charlie: Yeah, that's what women do.^ Charlie : Yeah, that's what women do.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Jake: Why is your head exploding?^ Jake : Why is your head exploding?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Your sexist, manipulative attitude toward women just got into Jake's head, and he spewed it out in front of his mother's angry women's support group!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Well, I drank a little too much wine last night.^ Charlie : Well, I drank a little too much wine last night.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ We had so much fun thinking of code names last night!
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Dale Gribble : Well, Joseph went to his first sleepover last night.
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: If it makes you feel bad, why do you drink it?^ Jake : If it's poison, why do you drink it?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You people make me want to drink.
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : You can't kill bad feelings with alcohol, Uncle Charlie.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Nobody likes a wiseass, Jake.^ Charlie : Nobody likes a wiseass, Jake.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : No, I'm a bachelor like my Uncle Charlie.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You know: you, me, Jake, Mom, turkey, just like the good old days.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar.^ Jake : You have to put a dollar in the swear jar.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : 'Cause there's only so much space in my brain that if you put Magellan in there, I might forget my locker combination.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ How can you put a dollar value on your sister's company?
  • WKRP in Cincinnati - Wikiquote 9 February 2010 17:18 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

You said "ass".
.Charlie: Tell you what...^ Charlie : You're telling me this now?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : I never took any LSD! Charlie : You might want to start telling people you did.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : What can I tell you?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

here's twenty. That should cover me until lunch.

.Alan: Now, what I think you need to do is to make a list.^ Alan : What do you think of?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : What did you think?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Alan, you need to be quiet.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.On one side, put what you don't like about our marriage, and on the other side, what you do.^ "You don't understand what a wallet is like.
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You don't like them?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ We were the first ones to tell you about them, too.

.Judith: Alan, sometimes when I think about coming home to you, I start crying in my car.^ I think that's what's so refreshing about you Bethy.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ Do you think they'd come?
  • Frasier Season 7 Quotes 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC www.toybox.ca [Source type: Original source]

^ How about you my dear?
  • Teen Titans : The Lost Season - toonzone forums 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC forums.toonzone.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Alan: Okay, that would probably go on the "don't" side.^ Alan : Okay, that would probably go on the "don't" side.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Well maybe they can but, I don't know how they would go about it.
  • Teen Titans/Titans Discussion Thread [Archive] - The Superhero Hype! Boards 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC forums.superherohype.com [Source type: General]

^ Alan : I don't have the actual statistics, but go on.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


[at the supermarket]
.Charlie: OK, cereal.^ Charlie : OK, cereal.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.We've got: Lucky Charms, Cocoa Puffs, Frosted Flakes, Maple Loops...^ We've got: Lucky Charms , Cocoa Puffs , Frosted Flakes , Maple Loops...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: I want Maple Loops.^ Jake : I want Maple Loops.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Kid, if I wanted to lie to you, I would have said I wrote " Stairway to Heaven ", not the Maple Loops song.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[sings]: It's got oats and corns and wheat, it's the sweetest breakfast treat...
Charlie and Jake: It's maple, maple, maaaaaay-plelicious!
.Charlie: You know who wrote that song?^ And you know who you are if you're not anyone?
  • [  Frasier  ]  quotes, favorite scenes, lessons learned, and more 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC www.neloo.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Do you know who I am?
  • Teen Titans : The Lost Season - toonzone forums 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC forums.toonzone.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You know what that song's about, don't you?
  • Frasier Season 7 Quotes 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC www.toybox.ca [Source type: Original source]

.Your Uncle Charlie wrote that.^ Your Uncle Charlie wrote that.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You come get your Uncle Charlie.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Well, buddy, it's like this: uh, despite his many admirable qualities, your Uncle Charlie is, at heart, a sleazeball.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: No lying?^ Jake : No lying?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Kid, if I wanted to lie to you, I would have said I wrote "Stairway to Heaven", not the Maple Loops song.^ Charlie : It's not that I don't care what you want.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Why would I want to do that?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Kid, if I wanted to lie to you, I would have said I wrote " Stairway to Heaven ", not the Maple Loops song.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


Jake: Gotta take a squirt. [leaves]
.Charlie: Why do you assume he learned that from me?^ Alan : Why do you assume it's his stuff?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Then why do you call it "Brenda"?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Why do you assume he learned that from me?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Because I learned it from you.^ Alan : Because I learned it from you.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Because there's only two reasons you ever set me up with a woman.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Why can't you just learn it now?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


[at the supermarket]
Charlie: Trust me, this is a great way to meet women.
.Alan: I don't want to meet women.^ Alan: [to Lori] I find it difficult to maintain grudges against all those who want to kill me, don't you?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Denny: [to Alan] I don't want to look at you right now.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I'm still married.
.Charlie: C'mon, your wife's out meeting chicks, why shouldn't you?^ Why don’t you take your own advice and just skip watching/visiting Catholic websites?
  • Pray for Larry David, Creator of Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm « The American Catholic 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC the-american-catholic.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Can you give me your favorites, and I'll check them out.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ I submit that you took that baseball, stashed it in your unusually large vagina, and walked right on out of here!
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Jake [looking at the cereal box]: It's got oats and corns and wheat, it's the sweetest breakfast treat, it's maple, maple, maple-licious.
.Woman: Your son is just adorable.^ [Niles wonders how to reconcile with Maris] Martin : When your mother got mad at me, I'd just grab her, bend her backwards and give her a kiss that made her glad she was a woman.
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Oh, thank you.^ Oh thank you, Lord!
  • The REZident Evil Zone: Half REbaked (it's like Drawn Together but with jokes!) - IGN Boards 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC boards.ign.com [Source type: General]

^ (Enormously relieved) Oh, thank you!

^ Shirley: Thank you, Alan.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Woman: You and your...^ Has a board ever embarrassed you in front of your woman?
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Tonya : [to a blond woman] Did you dye your hair blond or did you dye your eyebrows black?
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ When you were a junior in college, if a woman came to you and told you she was carrying your child, wouldn't you have been devastated?
  • [  Frasier  ]  quotes, favorite scenes, lessons learned, and more 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC www.neloo.com [Source type: Original source]

life partner must be so proud.

Big Flappy Bastards [1.1]

Charlie: Hey, hey, hey, don't put your juice box on the piano. It leaves a ring.
.Jake: How could a box leave a ring?^ Jake : How could a box leave a ring?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Jake leaves] How long is this whole grounding thing gonna go on for?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Season 6, Episode 14 How Could I Leave Her Behind?
  • Growing Pains Cast and Details 2 February 2010 14:51 UTC www.tvguide.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


.Alan [to Jake]: Oh, oh, remember, you're being punished.^ Alan [to Jake] : All right, buddy, I'm gonna have to tell you something pretty heavy, but...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: Excuse me, I realize you're new to this office but we have a zero-tolerance policy here when it comes to sexual harassment.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Alan is drunk] Jake : Boy, you're really plowed, aren't you?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.So no TV, no computer, no Game Boy.^ So no TV, no computer, no Game Boy .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Raven, who couldnt care less about a computer, proceeded back to her room while Beast Boy wasted no time in jumping on the couch to play his beloved game.
  • Teen Titans : The Lost Season - toonzone forums 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC forums.toonzone.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Eifel Tower in the back, and a Beast boy on moped being chased by women, veiw reverts ) Master of Games : I have no moped, shapeshifter.
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie, I need you to be my eyes and ears.^ Charlie : Alan, you need to be quiet.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You need a hint?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ But I've got my eye on you.

.Charlie: OK, but you have to be my liver and prostate.^ Richard Lewis : OK, well, you stole my outgoing message on my machine.
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Charlie: What did I tell you about leaving juice boxes on my piano?^ How about you my dear?
  • Teen Titans : The Lost Season - toonzone forums 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC forums.toonzone.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ We were the first ones to tell you about them, too.

^ But enough about me, tell me about you.
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Jake: How do you know it was me?^ You know how it is with parents when you are a teenager.

^ Jake : How can you not believe in them?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : How do you know it was me?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Oh, come on.^ Alan : Oh, come on, Charlie, play along.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Oh, come on, he's [Jake] not in any real danger.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Oh, come on.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Who else around here drinks...^ Who else around here drinks...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

"Cransylvania Goofy Juice"?
Jake: Good point.

.Charlie: Man, did you let another one of those big flappy bastards in the house?^ You want another one?
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Chelsea, we agreed that you only get one of those a month.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Man, you are so whipped!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: You have to put a dollar in the swear jar.^ Jake : You have to put a dollar in the swear jar.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : 'Cause there's only so much space in my brain that if you put Magellan in there, I might forget my locker combination.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ How can you put a dollar value on your sister's company?
  • WKRP in Cincinnati - Wikiquote 9 February 2010 17:18 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

You said "bastards".
Charlie: Smart. Poke the bear!

.Charlie [on the phone]: I got a flock of seagulls in my house.^ Charlie : Not in my house.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie [on the phone] : I got a flock of seagulls in my house.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : No dogs in my house, especially not stolen ones that are large enough to make me their bitch.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.No, I don't know whatever happened to them!^ I don't know what will happen.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ No, I don't know whatever happened to them !
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jerome : I don't know what happened to it.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: What about Jake?^ Alan : What about Jake?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You gonna put him on the market or just wall him off?^ You were just gonna leave that there?
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You gonna put him on the market or just wall him off?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You wouldn't have to ship him off to...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Hey, I've tried with that kid, Alan!^ Alan is talking on the phone] Charlie : Hey, Alan!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Hey, I've tried with that kid, Alan!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Well, they-- they've a good marriage, three kids, lots of dogs, a big backyard, and they live in a great school district.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.He, he-- he says one thing, then he goes and does another!^ (She goes into Robin's mind; things are seen from his perspective) See, Robin - there's no one here.
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Betty: One thing you can say for us, we pay for our ammo.
  • Frasier Season 7 Quotes 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC www.toybox.ca [Source type: Original source]

^ Niles: You know what would have been nice, is if one of you had found one nice thing to say about her.
  • Frasier Season 7 Quotes 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC www.toybox.ca [Source type: Original source]

Alan: He's ten! He's got the attention span of a hummingbird!
Charlie: Well, then, what am I supposed to do when he ignores me?
Alan: You punish him! .You-- you take away his computer, his-- his TV, his toys.^ What do you hope that readers are able to take away from Exit Wounds?

^ Judith [to Liz] : Ever since we were kids, any time I loved something, you had to take it away from me.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You-- you take away his computer, his-- his TV, his toys.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Well, you already took away all the good stuff.^ Charlie and Mia] Charlie : Well, good!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I want the good stuff!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : All good arguments for the quickie.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

What am I supposed to take away, his bronchial inhaler?

Go East on Sunset Until You Reach the Gates of Hell [1.2]

.Judith: If you must know, I'm here to help Jake set up his room so he feels like nothing's changed.^ Niles: I know, I know--shut up, you'll hurt his feelings.
  • Frasier Quotes 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC digital.net [Source type: Original source]

^ Frasier: Daphne knows that you have feelings for her.
  • Frasier Season 7 Quotes 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC www.toybox.ca [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : How do you know it was me?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Really? .You don't think he'll notice that his dad's living here and his mom's dating chicks?^ Robin : I don’t think you understand.
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You don't know what God thinks!
  • Westboro Baptist Church Continues ‘God Hates Lady Gaga’ Campaign - Megan Phelps records own version of “Poker Face” - Softpedia 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC news.softpedia.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You don't have to keep living a lie.
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Judith: Could you say that a little louder?^ Alan : Could you say that a little louder?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Judith : What did he say to you?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Judith : Could you say that a little louder?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake might not have heard you.^ Jake might not have heard you.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : 'Cause there's only so much space in my brain that if you put Magellan in there, I might forget my locker combination.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Then again, you might be surprised at what you heard in the channeling since you can't be positive what any of them might choose to channel to you.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

.[Alan walks up behind Judith] And just for the record, I'm not dating anyone and I threw your brother out 'cause he was sucking the life out of me.^ [Alan walks up behind Judith] And just for the record, I'm not dating anyone and I threw your brother out 'cause he was sucking the life out of me.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Are you out of your mind?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Judith : Yeah, I just met your brother's latest "stuff".
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[she leaves]
.Alan: Could you say that a little louder?^ Alan : What did you say?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Could you say that a little louder?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Judith : Could you say that a little louder?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: We can't go out tonight.^ Alan : I can't go out to dinner, Charlie.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : We can't go out tonight.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ (Jake gets out of his chair on the deck) Alan : Where are you going?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.We're getting up early to go to Disneyland.^ I'm just not used to getting up so early.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ We're getting up early to go to Disneyland .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If you're going to go blonde, then keep it up or let it grow out.
  • 'The Bachelor': Everybody hates Vienna – The Marquee Blog - CNN.com Blogs 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC marquee.blogs.cnn.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Charlie: "We"?
Alan: Yeah. .I thought maybe you'd want to come with us.^ I thought maybe you'd want to come with us.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ They want you to come back.

^ She wants you to come down.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Alan, I'm not thrilled about having one small rodent in my house.^ Charlie : Alan, I'm not thrilled about having one small rodent in my house.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Not in my house.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : She knows what she's talking about, Alan.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Why would I drive fifty miles to see their kingdom?^ He who would see billowy mountains, rolling miles and miles away, should climb to "Fisher's View," at a short distance from Alleghany.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ And I don't see why you would dismiss something that might bring in some more support from the crucial votes this bill needs to pass.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - Another Kind of Recess 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ Whenever I see one on the highway, I look into the driver's eyes, hoping to see something that would explain why in God's name they would ever want to do something like this.
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


[Charlie wakes up to see Jake's guinea pig, Porky, in his face]
.Charlie: Jake, rule number one: Uncle Charlie does not like to start his day with a squealing creature in his face.^ Charlie : Nobody likes a wiseass, Jake.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : No, I'm a bachelor like my Uncle Charlie.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You like round numbers, do you?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Jake: Sorry. Grandma's here. .She wants you to come down.^ She wants you to come down.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If you click on a state and you come back to the top of the page, this means that the state that you want has not yet been loaded into your computer from the server.
  • Castles of the United States 19 January 2010 9:53 UTC www.dupontcastle.com [Source type: Original source]

^ It’s like they knew you were coming and wanted to welcome you guys with a wonderful celebration!
  • matt, liz and madeline » the last week and a half. 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.mattlogelin.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Charlie: OK, you're not listening.^ Charlie : You're telling me this now?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : OK, OK, look, you're not going out to have fun.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You're angry and resentful.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Rule number one...^ Rule number one: always stand in back of the curb until the bus has come to a complete stop.
  • [  Frasier  ]  quotes, favorite scenes, lessons learned, and more 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC www.neloo.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Rule number one...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


[after their Disneyland trip]
.Charlie: "Happiest Place on Earth", my snow-white ass!^ Disneyland trip] Charlie : "Happiest Place on Earth", my snow-white ass!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : OK, I'm gonna rip off your big fat lips and use 'em to kiss my ass!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ GIST About five miles from here I found tracks of a group of white men who must have been the ones at my place yesterday.
  • GEORGE WASHINGTON: A War Breaks Out by Sanderson Beck 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC san.beck.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: I had a good time!^ Alan : I had a good time!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Yeah, good times.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Oh, really?^ Charlie : Oh, come on, he's [Jake] not in any real danger.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Oh, really?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Which part did you like best: the equatorial heat, the endless lines, or the large German woman who threw up on me in the teacup?^ Dad: Where did you get heat vision?
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Which part did you like best: the equatorial heat, the endless lines, or the large German woman who threw up on me in the teacup ?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ So you did not blow up the cars.
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: OK, OK, maybe things could have gone smoother, but tomorrow is gonna make up for it.^ Alan : OK, OK, maybe things could have gone smoother, but tomorrow is gonna make up for it.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Alan, you could get us all laid tomorrow; it's not gonna make up for it.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Someone must step up and make unpopular decisions to make things happen.
  • Cleveland Cafe: Your thoughts on the show? 11 January 2010 11:28 UTC www.wkyc.com [Source type: General]

.Charlie: Alan, you could get us all laid tomorrow; it's not gonna make up for it.^ Charlie : I'm not gonna make it three months, Alan.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You're gonna charge me for that?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Aren't you gonna help us?
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: Porky's dead?^ Alan : Porky's dead?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Th-th-th-that's all, folks.^ Charlie : Th-th-th-that's all, folks .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Charlie: [to Alan] First of all, that little boy loves you.^ Charlie and Alan : I love you!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I'm falling in love with you all over again!
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ [Charlie is on all fours on his bed] Charlie : Alan, you're a chiropractor.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.And second of all, just cause your wife decides she doesn't like sleeping with men doesn't mean you failed as a husband, though I wouldn't brag about it.^ I dont hear you saying anything about them just cause you dont like her music dont mean you have to be hating on her.
  • Westboro Baptist Church Continues ‘God Hates Lady Gaga’ Campaign - Megan Phelps records own version of “Poker Face” - Softpedia 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC news.softpedia.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Just like before, just like all the others...
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Danielle : You men are all alike.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Cab driver: Your mother sounds like a real piece of work.^ Cab driver : Your mother sounds like a real piece of work.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I really like your adjectives, Shenonymous.
  • Chris Hedges: Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama - Chris Hedges' Columns -Truthdig 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.truthdig.com [Source type: Original source]

^ I really like your work!

.Charlie: Ah, you have no idea, my friend.^ You have no idea what real unhappiness is.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Robin : You have no idea.
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : No, no, no, you just got here!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.My mother took my baby brother and dipped him in sissy sauce, and turned him into the people-pleasing control freak you see today.^ Control Freak: I can't understand you!
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "My brother, I am grieved to see you so changed.

^ Bambi You killed my mother!
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Alan: That's right! .And-- and she made him so scared of intimacy that-- that he has just this endless stream of gorgeous girls running in and out of his life.^ And-- and she made him so scared of intimacy that-- that he has just this endless stream of gorgeous girls running in and out of his life.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I just made him partner.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ The Republicans have made a fool out of him.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - Another Kind of Recess 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

Charlie: Damn her.
.Cab driver: You know, many psychologists agree.^ Cab driver : You know, many psychologists agree.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Do you know how many trees died for you to write this?
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Most of you know George Washington, as he has recruited many of you.
  • GEORGE WASHINGTON: A War Breaks Out by Sanderson Beck 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC san.beck.org [Source type: Original source]

.Until the core maternal relationship is resolved, most men are doomed to repeat dysfunctional childhood patterns.^ Until the core maternal relationship is resolved, most men are doomed to repeat dysfunctional childhood patterns.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Just drive the cab, Dr. Phil.

If I Can't Write My Chocolate Song I'm Going to Take a Nap [1.3]

.Jake: Uncle Charlie, why is Berta leaving?^ Jake : Uncle Charlie, why is Berta leaving?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Hey, leave Jake out of this.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : Why is he [Charlie] dating a judge?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Why? .It doesn't matter, Jake.^ It doesn't matter, Jake.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

What matters is she's gone. .And we're all gonna die.^ Xandir : We're all gonna die!
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ And we're all gonna die.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Now we're all gonna die!
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


.Alan: I even made your coffee.^ Alan: Christine, you were in love with a man who was unworthy of you, who made you doubt everything you had a right to count on, who perhaps even toyed with your sanity.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Thank you.^ Charlie : Thank you.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[takes a sip] No, uh-uh. Not as good as Berta's.
Alan: But... it's her coffee! .I just-- I just pushed the button.^ I just-- I just pushed the button.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Berta's tasted...^ Charlie : Berta's tasted...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I don't know, Christmassy.^ I don't know, Christmassy.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Alan: Wh-- what does that mean, "Christmassy"? What--
Charlie: It means "like Christmas".
.Alan: No, you...^ Charlie brought home are skinny dipping in the ocean] Alan : Have you no shame?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You know, I always thought that, but I didn't think you'd be open-- Charlie : [interrupting] No, no, no, you jackass!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : No, no, the, uh, the lady I've been seeing, you know, uh, Linda's friend, Donna?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

you gotta work with me, Charlie. .I mean, nutmeg, cinnamon, powdered reindeer...^ I mean, nutmeg , cinnamon , powdered reindeer ...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: I don't know.^ Charlie : Hey, you know the rule: If there's topless sunbathers, you don't hang out and stare at them.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : OK, OK, first of all, you don't know if it's your kid.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I don't know.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.It's just that when you drank it, it just felt like Christmas morning and anything was possible.^ I felt just like Don King.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ She's 12, just like you.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I just like making you work!
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


.Charlie: I'm sitting here trying to write a jingle about a chocolate bar, and my piano smells like lemons.^ Like I said it was all about trying to be close to my mother.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ Charlie : I'm sitting here trying to write a jingle about a chocolate bar, and my piano smells like lemons.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : About to sleep with my girlfriend?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Gee, I'm sorry, Charlie, but they don't make chocolate Pledge.^ Alan : Gee, I'm sorry, Charlie, but they don't make chocolate Pledge.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Alan, you don't have to worry.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Except when they don't work.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Rose: I'm so worried he's not gonna like me.^ Rose : I'm so worried he's not gonna like me.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: He's gonna love you, Rose.^ Charlie and Alan : I love you!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : He's gonna love you, Rose.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : That's not gonna get you very far.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Just go out, have a great time, and don't come on too strong.^ Berta : Going in or coming out?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Just go out, have a great time, and don't come on too strong.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I don't know which way it's coming out, but it's coming out!
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Rose: Me, too strong? What does that mean?
.Charlie: OK, well, speaking from my own experience, there's nothing wrong with asking a guy for a blood test, but actually trying to take the blood yourself is a little strong.^ Well now, time to try out my luck.
  • Teen Titans : The Lost Season - toonzone forums 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC forums.toonzone.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Rude as are their surroundings in the little cabins which they now call their own, they are beginning to take an interest in their homes, and the children spend some time each year at school.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ But now the scene is really starting and there are other groups, like Dimona Comix Group producing their own work as well.

Rose: I see.
.Charlie: Where are you going now?^ Charlie : You're telling me this now?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Dad: You can go home now.
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Charlie : Where are you going now?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Rose: You've got me thinking this dress comes on too strong, so I'm gonna put on something a little less [growl] and a little more "Ooh!"^ If you're gonna do something, do it quick!
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Wooldoor : I think you mean, "come with you".
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Rose : You've got me thinking this dress comes on too strong, so I'm gonna put on something a little less [growl] and a little more "Ooh!"
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Rose: So you like this dress better?^ That everyone liked me better than you?
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Rose : So you like this dress better?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Rose : You've got me thinking this dress comes on too strong, so I'm gonna put on something a little less [growl] and a little more "Ooh!"
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Hang on, Rose.^ Charlie : Hang on, Rose.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.The kid's running around on the deck in his underwear.^ The kid's running around on the deck in his underwear.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ There were all these little kids running around, and they all had on sweatshirts and dark glasses and three-day beards.
  • WKRP in Cincinnati - Wikiquote 9 February 2010 17:18 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It’s a nice place for the kids to run around or to have a picnic, and there has seldom been much of a crowd there on our visits.
  • Discover Greater Cincinnati (2006) 9 February 2010 17:18 UTC issuu.com [Source type: General]

.Rose: Oh, sure.^ Rose : Oh, sure.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.When I do it, you just ignore me.^ When I do it, you just ignore me.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Heartless Bastards When the Animal Crackers take the stage, you just can’t ignore the energy.
  • Discover Greater Cincinnati (2006) 9 February 2010 17:18 UTC issuu.com [Source type: General]

^ People just stop thinking about it, but as much as you try to ignore it, it increasingly becomes part of your private life.


[Berta has lower back pain while lifting up a laundry basket]
.Alan: You, uh, you do a lot of lifting?^ Alan : Uh, if Mom's ever in a coma, you're the one who has to decide to pull the plug.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Berta has lower back pain while lifting up a laundry basket] Alan : You, uh, you do a lot of lifting?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan finds out that Myra was sleeping with Charlie] Alan : OK, um, let me just start, uh, by saying I applaud the, uh, the gusto with which you approach life.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[Berta gives him a bad look] Of course you do.^ [Berta gives him a bad look] Of course you do.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Berta : You're cleaning him?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Unless you look forward to increasingly bad TV written by the lowest common denominator scribes, beware of Fox animation.
  • Perez Hilton: Good News And Okay News For The Cleveland Show 11 January 2010 11:28 UTC perezhilton.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.You're a maid, and I'm an ass.^ Mia : You know, you're turning into a real ass here!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You're a maid, and I'm an ass.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Re: Aintnofag – The same equality as a guy who fucks a woman up the butt, you crass ass.
  • Perez Hilton: Frasier Star Weds Boyfriend! 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC perezhilton.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Berta: I'm a housekeeper.
Alan: Yes.
.Berta: And you're an ass.^ Berta : And you're an ass.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Berta : You're cleaning him?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Mia : You know, you're turning into a real ass here!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

The Last Thing You Want Is to Wind Up With a Hump [1.4]

.Alan: Jake, for the last time, nobody got creamed.^ Alan : Jake, for the last time, nobody got creamed.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : For the last time, I misdialed!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : When was the last time you saw a dentist?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.No one won, no one lost.^ No one won, no one lost.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Even Conservative and Liberal have lost any former meaning, because no one can even begin to think of the current administrative gangsters as ‘conservative’.
  • Chris Hedges: Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama - Chris Hedges' Columns -Truthdig 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.truthdig.com [Source type: Original source]

Jake: Yeah, except for us, 12 to 2.
.Charlie: Hey, pal, it doesn't matter if you win or lose.^ What you want doesn't matter.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Hey, pal, it doesn't matter if you win or lose.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Hey, you crap where I live !
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.It's whether or not you beat the spread.^ It's whether or not you beat the spread.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


Alan: Kate again? .Charlie, you have no clue what you're getting involved in with these divorced soccer moms.^ Charlie : You're telling me this now?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You're kidding.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You're not a gangsta, either.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: You're right!^ Charlie : You're telling me this now?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You know, maybe you're right.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You're kidding.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I don't have a clue. .I've never had a clue.^ I've never had a clue.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.It's part of my charm!^ It's part of my charm!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Charlie: Hey, we're here for fun, right?^ Charlie : Yeah, you're right.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You're right!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Hey, we're here for fun, right?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Nobody wins or loses.^ Nobody wins or loses.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Oh, come on!^ Alan : Oh, come on, Charlie, play along.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Oh, this looks interesting: "Two-bedroom, needs work, up-and-coming neighborhood."
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Oh, come on!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Somebody always loses!^ Somebody always loses!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[stands up] Who are we kidding?^ Mom and Grammy taught us as boys to take our hats off in an elevator in which ladies were present, and to give up our seats in the subway to a lady who was standing.
  • Growing Pains 2 February 2010 14:51 UTC www.mindspring.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Wooldoor stands up to Spanky while singing Clara's song] Spanky : [singing] He's not the only one who can sing from his heart I have the feelings inside that...
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ We need a REAL liberal candidate who will stand up for the rest of us!
  • Chris Hedges: Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama - Chris Hedges' Columns -Truthdig 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.truthdig.com [Source type: Original source]

.It's 8 to 1 out there and everybody here knows it.^ I know you're out there.
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ It's 8 to 1 out there and everybody here knows it.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ There's enough room down here for everybody.
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.And-- and you know, I'll tell you another thing!^ I'll tell you what happened.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I'll tell you what I wonder.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I'll tell you why.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.We haven't won a game all season, and I'm putting that in the newsletter!^ We haven't won a game all season, and I'm putting that in the newsletter!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Walsh won both games last year and lead the all-time series 4-0.
  • Basketball 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.walsh.edu [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ The Great Danes have won 10 or more games in four of the last five seasons and made three NCAA appearances.
  • UAlbany Men's Lacrosse Stories 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.albany.edu [Source type: General]

.And as God as my witness, there will be a newsletter!^ And as God as my witness, there will be a newsletter!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ A shaken Arthur Carlson later remarks, "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly."

^ My the Gods have mercy on your soul If there's one vague showing for a character against a TT character, you want details out the wazoo.
  • animated Teen Titans vs. X-Men: Evolution [Archive] - Comic Book Resources Forums 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC forums.comicbookresources.com [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: Dad, you're kind of freaking everybody out here.^ Rochelle : You're out of order!
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lori: What are you doing out here?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You're taking me out??
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Charlie: Forget it, Jake.^ Charlie : Forget it, Jake.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

It's Sherman Oaks.

Did You Check With the Captain of the Flying Monkeys? [1.5]

.Evelyn: I want you two and Jake to come to dinner and meet Tommy.^ Denny: You want to meet her?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ They want you to come back.

^ It’s like they knew you were coming and wanted to welcome you guys with a wonderful celebration!
  • matt, liz and madeline » the last week and a half. 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.mattlogelin.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Both: Well...
.Alan: Jake has this thing...^ Alan : Jake has this thing...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Let me tell you another thing: if I hadn't married Judith, there would be no Jake.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : It became clear to me that I don't like what I'm doing, and now that Mom is taking care of Jake, I can spend my time doing the things that give me joy.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Got work.
.Alan: Judith will have Jake.^ Alan : When Judith was pregnant with Jake, I-- I don't know if it was hormones or pheromones , but...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie [talking to Judith on Alan's cell phone, which Jake brought with him] : What am I doing with Alan's phone?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Let me tell you another thing: if I hadn't married Judith, there would be no Jake.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Don't really want to.^ If you want a REAL discussion, don't have 1/3 of the panel be journalists.
  • Cleveland Cafe: Your thoughts on the show? 11 January 2010 11:28 UTC www.wkyc.com [Source type: General]

^ If you've always wanted to be in the real music business, but you don't know how or where to start, the Road Rally is definitely for you.
  • TAXI's Music Industry Listings: What Record Companies, Publishers, Film & TV Music Supervisors Are Looking For 25 September 2009 5:12 UTC www.taxi.com [Source type: General]

^ I don’t want to pretend to actually KNOW you or make up something that may not really be there.
  • matt, liz and madeline » the last week and a half. 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.mattlogelin.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


[Evelyn finds out that Charlie previously dated her boyfriend Tommy's daughter, Olivia]
.Evelyn: Is there anyone in the 310 area code that you have not mounted?^ You know that there are not so many local governments, school systems, fire departments and police departments in the Maryland area.
  • Cleveland Cafe: Your thoughts on the show? 11 January 2010 11:28 UTC www.wkyc.com [Source type: General]

.Charlie: Come on, we went out a couple of times.^ Charlie : Come on, we went out a couple of times.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Evelyn : So, you're blaming Mummy because Little Charlie can't come out and play?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I can recall three times when our steering mechanism went out of kilter.
  • Growing Pains 2 February 2010 14:51 UTC www.mindspring.com [Source type: Original source]

.She assumed it was an exclusive thing, and when she found out it wasn't, she got a little upset.^ She assumed it was an exclusive thing, and when she found out it wasn't, she got a little upset.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Foxxy : With our little Chinese friend gone, things just wasn't the same.
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I know this is a little thing and your eyeglasses through Medical were not the point of your story but, what the heck, check it out.
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama | CommonDreams.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.commondreams.org [Source type: General]

.[waves at Olivia after she stares at him] Anyway, Tommy seems like a real nice guy.^ It really does seem like a perfect place for you guys!!
  • matt, liz and madeline » the last week and a half. 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.mattlogelin.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ I haven't talked to him much, because he isn't super-active like Slicer, Punkrocker and I. But from what I know of him, he is a really nice leader.
  • Swords of Chaos {Thread CLXXV/175} - The Smash Bros. Brawl Crews - Neoseeker Forums 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC www.neoseeker.com [Source type: General]

^ After the frugal supper was over, he asked us many questions of the outer world, which he had never visited; New York and Louisville seemed to him like dreams.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

.I'm-- I'm very happy for you.^ I'm-- I'm very happy for you.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Madeline is adorable as ever in her little indian clothes I cannot wait to read your book and very happy to read that the writting comes easier to you then you thought it would.
  • matt, liz and madeline » the last week and a half. 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.mattlogelin.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Good night. [starts to leave]
.Evelyn: Charles, you are not going anywhere.^ Evelyn : Charles, you are not going anywhere.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You’re not going anywhere!
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Evelyn : Look, Charlie, if you're really going to marry this woman, I want to get started on the right foot.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.This man is very important to me.^ This man is very important to me.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Now, we are going to have a nice dinner, you are going to be charming, and Tommy will remain oblivious to the fact that you defiled his daughter.^ Dad: You can go home now.
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You've ignored my questions, and now I'm going to do what several reputable Newsbuster members have suggested I do with you - IGNORE. Buh-bye.
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

^ [Frasier and Roz have slept together] Frasier : Do you know what she's going to see when she looks at me now?
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Hey, she wasn't exactly filed when I met her!^ Charlie : Hey, she wasn't exactly filed when I met her!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Olivia: You said I was very special to you.^ Olivia : You said I was very special to you.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I said you were special, not unique.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "Thank you very much," said Sergeant Gray, and turning drearily commenced his lonely walk back to camp.

Charlie: You were!
.Olivia: Yeah, me and three other women!^ Olivia : Yeah, me and three other women!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: I said you were special, not unique.^ Olivia : You said I was very special to you.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I said you were special, not unique.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I thought you said he got dumped!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


Alan: Mom?
Charlie: OK, she's not here. Let's go.
[Alan turns on the light]
.Charlie: OK, she's here.^ [Alan turns on the light] Charlie : OK, she's here.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : OK, here's a round number for you: zero.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : OK, she's not here.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Let's go.

If They Do Go Either Way, They're Usually Fake [1.6]

.Alan: Charlie, there is a half-naked woman in our kitchen!^ Frasier finds a half-naked woman in his apartment, and she introduces herself as his new neighbor.
  • Frasier Episode List - TVLoop 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC www.tvloop.com [Source type: General]

Charlie: Which half?

.Charlie: I thought we agreed we were just friends.^ Charlie : I thought we agreed we were just friends.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I'm just having some friends over to...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Rose: We are. .We're friends who slept together once, and then one friend never called the other friend.^ We're friends who slept together once, and then one friend never called the other friend.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ The museum for all of us, who wanted to be a firefighter, but never became one.
  • Cities Guide:Find Restaurants near an Address,Restaurants By Zip Code-City Guide Search Service 9 February 2010 17:18 UTC sibyte.com [Source type: General]

^ Every one sings; man, woman and child croon over their toil, but never with that joyous abandon so characteristic of other races.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

.But luckily, the other friend forgave him.^ But luckily, the other friend forgave him.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Rose walks towards the kitchen]
.Charlie: Where are you going?^ Charlie : Where are you going now?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Where you going?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You didn't have to go to the bathroom!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Rose: To make my friend a grilled cheese sandwich.^ Alan: She makes my friend smile.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I took the whole pissing on the Jesus picture this way...he wasn't degrading Jesus, he was making fun of the fruitcakes who say they have a burn mark on a grilled cheese sandwich that looks like Jesus or a potato chip in the shape of Jesus.
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

Charlie: Rose, Rose. .I don't want a grilled cheese sandwich.^ I don't want a grilled cheese sandwich.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Rose : To make my friend a grilled cheese sandwich .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Rose: Would you prefer a quesadilla?^ Rose : Would you prefer a quesadilla ?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You see, Koby has been estranged from his dad for a number of years and would prefer to keep things that way rather than risk any further disappointment.

.Charlie: That sounds nice.^ Charlie : That sounds nice.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: Hey, where have you been?^ Alan : Hey, you can buy T-shirts and coffee mugs!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Hey, Alan, d'you think I'm evil?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Hey, where have you been?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: I just had lunch with my mother and my stalker.^ Charlie : I just had lunch with my mother and my stalker.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ My mother had just died and she was one of the most important people in my life.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ Beverly : Charlie, are you OK? Charlie : Yeah, I just can't find my damn stalker.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.They spent the afternoon eating off each other's plates and discussing my fear of intimacy.^ They spent the afternoon eating off each other's plates and discussing my fear of intimacy.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ As time passed I discovered other industrial psychologists who felt as I did, that our methodology was lacking somehow, but by far the preponderance of "psychologists" resided in the camp of my friendly discussant, they were logical positivists.
  • Growing Pains 2 February 2010 14:51 UTC www.mindspring.com [Source type: Original source]

^ "If anyone trips he must tell the others what he was thinking about, and if it isn't interesting they will eat him."

.Alan: You do have that, you know.^ Alan : I think you know what you have to do.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Yeah, you know, the Alan of the future.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You do have that, you know.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Well, anyway, look, can we talk about this picture Jake drew?^ Jake : What are you talking about?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Well, anyway, look, can we talk about this picture Jake drew?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie: Look Jake, I'm sorry about the Wendy thing, but there's nothing I can do about it.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: What's to talk about?^ Charlie [to Alan] : I don't know what she's talking about.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Yeah, but I think we should talk about this drawer thing.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Charlie & Berta are stirring things up with what Alan is talking about] .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

He's a boy. .He saw a woman's ass.^ He saw a woman's ass.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

He liked it. .Thank your lucky stars it wasn't the cable guy's ass and move on!^ Thank your lucky stars it wasn't the cable guy's ass and move on!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Bucky Bucks : [to Xandir and the rest of his team] Wow, you guys got your asses whipped!
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ "Thanks for your constant support of my work — I'm running out of compliments for you guys!"
  • TAXI's Music Industry Listings: What Record Companies, Publishers, Film & TV Music Supervisors Are Looking For 25 September 2009 5:12 UTC www.taxi.com [Source type: General]

[Jake enters the kitchen]
Jake: Hey, Dad, where's "Can-cun"?
Alan: Cancún?
Jake: No, it's spelled "Can-cun".
Alan: It's in Mexico. Why?
.Jake: We should go there for Christmas instead of Aunt Betty's.^ Jake : We should go there for Christmas instead of Aunt Betty's.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Alan: What are you reading?
.Jake: Sports Illustrated, but it's mostly ladies in bathing suits.^ Jake : Sports Illustrated , but it's mostly ladies in bathing suits .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


[Charlie is in bed]
.Alan: Wake up, wake up, wake up!^ [Charlie is in bed] Alan : Wake up, wake up, wake up!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Charlie, wake up.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Denny wakes up to find Alan in his bed.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: What? I was having a great dream!
.Alan: Your girlfriend and my wife.^ Alan : Your girlfriend and my wife.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: Actually, your honor, since our last get together, I've changed my name from Shoup to Shore.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Yeah, that's what my ex-wife wanted -- more sex with me that lasted longer.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Surfing, showering, rubber suits.^ Surfing, showering, rubber suits.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: OK, this might be better.

.Jake [describing his trip to SeaWorld]: And I got to see penguins and a manta ray, and I got to pet a shark, and the coolest thing was the whales.^ Jake [describing his trip to SeaWorld ] : And I got to see penguins and a manta ray , and I got to pet a shark , and the coolest thing was the whales .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

They splash everybody. .You could see right through this one lady's shirt.^ You could see right through this one lady's shirt.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Later today we'll go see my guy about a will, you want to make sure the right people inherit your debts.
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You are right, doug, I didn't see anywhere on Obama's website a suggestion for "a new national health plan that caps premiums, co-pays, and deductibles".
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama | CommonDreams.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.commondreams.org [Source type: General]

.And I think maybe she had plants.^ And I think maybe she had plants.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Implants.
.Jake: Yeah, implants.^ Jake : Yeah, implants.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I asked Grandma if she had them, and Grandpa said, "I wish!"^ I asked Grandma if she had them, and Grandpa said, "I wish!"
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Twenty-Five Little Pre-pubers Without a Snoot-ful [1.7]

Charlie: So what's the deal with your teacher?
Jake: Miss Tuttle? She's very strict.
.Charlie: That could work.^ Charlie : That could work.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Well, I, I, I told her I was going to marry Mia and I think I could actually see her medication stop working.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Jake: How come you're not helping Mom and Dad with the show?^ Jake : How come you're not helping Mom and Dad with the show?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Frasier : Dad, you're a ghoul.
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : [to Jake] Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Well, how can I put this?^ Charlie : Well, how can I put this?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Well, you look like a woman of discriminating taste, and mixing a quality bourbon with ginger ale is like putting Cheez Whiz on Lobster Newberg .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Well, how do I find out who created it?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Your Uncle Charlie is a professional musician, and your mom and dad...^ Your Uncle Charlie wrote that.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : God, I love your mom.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You come get your Uncle Charlie.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Jake: Suck?
.Charlie: Good a word as any.^ Charlie : Good a word as any.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


[Alan finds out that Judith filed for divorce just before rehearsal]
Alan: What am I gonna do?
.Charlie: Well, there's a lot of ways to respond to something like this: anger, grief, denial.^ Charlie : Well, there's a lot of ways to respond to something like this: anger, grief, denial.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Well, you look like a woman of discriminating taste, and mixing a quality bourbon with ginger ale is like putting Cheez Whiz on Lobster Newberg .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Freeman : Well, except there's no way you're leaving here with more money than when you came in.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: What would you do?^ Alan: What would you do as mayor of Boston?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Would you please just...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : What would you do?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: I'd probably blow off rehearsal and start chugging from the blender.^ Charlie : I'd probably blow off rehearsal and start chugging from the blender.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[Alan glares at him] I wouldn't recommend that for an amateur.^ [Alan glares at him] I wouldn't recommend that for an amateur.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Judith [to the class]: OK, everybody, what we're gonna do is put the girls on one side and the boys on the other.^ Judith [to the class] : OK, everybody, what we're gonna do is put the girls on one side and the boys on the other.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ All the boys are on one side of the room, all the girls are on the other.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It's not like I didn't have it bad enough comin' to this school from the other side of town, havin' the kids kick the crap outta me, but now the teacher's gonna kick the crap outta me too.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Sure, start splitting them up early.^ Alan : Sure, start splitting them up early.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : OK, uh, just make sure Jake goes to bed early.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.That's your answer for everything, isn't it?^ That's your answer for everything, isn't it?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Judith: Excuse me?
Alan: Uh, would Mrs. Plaintiff please see Mr. Respondent in the hallway?

Girl: Aren't we gonna do our songs?
.Charlie: Hey, I'm just the piano player.^ Charlie : Hey, I'm just the piano player.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Hey, hey, hey, don't put your juice box on the piano.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Hey, hey, lots of kids are named "Chuck", play the piano, and look disturbingly like me.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lerner and Loewe are out in the hallway working things out.^ These things usually have a way of working themselves out, just like the time everyone found out you had a monster vagina between your legs.
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Prince Charming : [after firing off a gun] I just wanted to see if this thing worked, before I blew my charming brains out!
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Girl: Who?
.Charlie: Lerner and Loewe?^ Charlie : Lerner and Loewe?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.My Fair Lady?^ Wasn't he that guy who cleaned up that woman in My Fair Lady ?
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ My Fair Lady ?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Camelot? .[quietly]: Aren't there any gay kids here?^ Aren't there any gay kids here?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Hope there aren't any Catholic police here.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]


Jake: Before the Industrial Revolution, we lived in an agrarian society. .Most people grew their own food and ate what they grew.^ Most people grew their own food and ate what they grew.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Most people are bombarded with so many worries that they are bound to make some decisions.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ I never have understood why people 'need' religion to keep them good, as though they're afraid they can't do it on their own.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

Breakfast involved...
Girl: Slaughtering animals.
.Boy: And milking cows.^ Boy : And milking cows.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: It would be hundreds of years before people could enjoy a pre-packaged and nutritious breakfast.^ Jake : It would be hundreds of years before people could enjoy a pre-packaged and nutritious breakfast.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Its beauties and virtues have for a hundred years filled the homes of St. Augustine with people striving to recover from the effects of severer surroundings; and it will always be a refuge.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Hundreds of thousands of dollars are needed to supply this people with the barest necessities of their intellectual improvement; a steady charity for ten years to come will be in no wise mistaken.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

And what's in that breakfast?
.Charlie [starts playing the Maple Loops song]: It's...^ Charlie : Hey, hey, Maple Loops is part of a nutritious, balanced breakfast.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Kid, if I wanted to lie to you, I would have said I wrote " Stairway to Heaven ", not the Maple Loops song.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie [starts playing the Maple Loops song] : It's...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

got...
Children [singing]: ...oats and corns and wheat, it's the sweetest breakfast treat, it's maple, maple, maple-licious.

Phase One, Complete [1.8]

.Rose: We're both like two lonely socks that want desperately to keep someone's feet warm, but we don't match up with any other socks so all we can hope for is to be a dust mitten or a hand puppet.^ Rose : We're both like two lonely socks that want desperately to keep someone's feet warm, but we don't match up with any other socks so all we can hope for is to be a dust mitten or a hand puppet.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Just like before, just like all the others...
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Don't give up hope KDelphi.
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama | CommonDreams.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.commondreams.org [Source type: General]


.Charlie: Look Jake, I'm sorry about the Wendy thing, but there's nothing I can do about it.^ Charlie : That's the great thing about Vicodin.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie: Look Jake, I'm sorry about the Wendy thing, but there's nothing I can do about it.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : There is nothing wrong with Danielle.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.And I want us to be buddies again.^ And I want us to be buddies again.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I don't want you to hate me anymore.^ I don't want to fight anymore!
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I don't want to hurt OD anymore.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ Don't you want to go to Heaven?
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: I don't hate you.^ Bobby Hill : Why do you hate what you don't understand?
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Hank Hill : I don't hate you Bobby!
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Good.
.Jake: I'm just very disappointed in you.^ Jake: I'm just very disappointed in you.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You know: you, me, Jake, Mom, turkey, just like the good old days.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : I don't want a play date with some stupid kid just so you can have sex with her!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Hey, I get enough of that crap from my mother.^ My mother was on the stage giving the parents' speech, which was bad enough, using all the clichs and giving parental advice that no one was interested to hear, and then...

^ Greg : Hey, check out what I made for my mom for Mother's Day: macaroni pajamas.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Charlie: It's not that I don't care what you want.^ Charlie : I don't have an answer for you, Herb.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Alan, you don't have to worry.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Don't you want to go to Heaven?
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

It's just that... you're a kid. .What you want doesn't matter.^ What you want doesn't matter.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Hey, pal, it doesn't matter if you win or lose.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[Jake folds his arms in disgust] Wow.^ [Jake folds his arms in disgust] Wow.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I do suck.

.Charlie [while shopping for liquor at the supermarket]: Let's see: one Russian blonde...^ Charlie : Well let's see.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : All right, let's see how you play harmonica out your other end!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Well, let's see: your receding hairline, your semi-literate son, your budding man-boobs...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

one Scottish brunette... and a full-bodied redhead from Napa Valley. Charlie's Angels.

Merry Thanksgiving [1.9]

.Charlie: I have a kid now.^ Charlie : I have a kid now.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie [singing] : I drink from a sippy cup, sippy cup, sippy cup I drink from a sippy cup 'cause I'm a big kid now Bye-bye boobies, bye-bye boobies bye-bye boobies 'cause I'm a big kid now!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Lisa: Oh, God, Charlie, what poor girl did you knock up?^ Charlie : Oh, my God!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Oh, like you were a prize.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lisa : Oh, God, Charlie, what poor girl did you knock up?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: No, no, it's my nephew. .He and my brother are living with me now.^ He and my brother are living with me now.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ There was a small neighborhood in the hospital area for the staff to live in, which is quite strange to think of now, and, come to think of it, might have affected my art.

^ I will go home now and tell my father, and then pack up all my things, and go to the Earth to live there always."

I'm like, Mr. Family Guy.
.Lisa: Yeah, right, family guy.^ Lisa : Yeah, right, family guy.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ They need to be boycotted (yeah, I know it's tough, but that includes the Simpsons and the upcoming Family Guy).
  • Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 20 September 2009 12:012 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.How's it going with your mom?^ How's it going with your mom?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Let it go and spend your energy on something more useful like education because that where the rest of us learn how to grow up.
  • Westboro Baptist Church Continues ‘God Hates Lady Gaga’ Campaign - Megan Phelps records own version of “Poker Face” - Softpedia 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC news.softpedia.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Dale Gribble : So, how was your morning going, Hank?
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: What the hell does my mom have to do with family?^ Charlie : What the hell does my mom have to do with family?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : What the hell is your mom, a rabid werewolf who craps hot lava on people?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Charlie and Jake are at a restaurant where they are the only Caucasian customers] Jake : This isn't the Clucky's my mom takes me to.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


Charlie: What's so tough to understand? .We're gonna have a big family dinner right here.^ We're gonna have a big family dinner right here.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Page 59 Bring the Kids: Here are some family-friendly weekday dinner options in the north, west, east and in Northern Kentucky.
  • Discover Greater Cincinnati (2006) 9 February 2010 17:18 UTC issuu.com [Source type: General]

^ Charlie : Hey, we're here for fun, right?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Alan: Uh-huh. .And whose big family were you planning on inviting?^ And whose big family were you planning on inviting?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: You know: you, me, Jake, Mom, turkey, just like the good old days.^ I just like making you work!
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You look like you had a rough day.
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You know, like Angelina Jolie?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: What good old days?^ Alan : What good old days?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Them were the good old days.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ Hell, in the "good old days" it was just 20 different lawyer, doctor and police shows ripping off the original.
  • Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 20 September 2009 12:012 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


.Charlie: See, isn't this great?^ Alan : Well, Charlie, that's the great thing about seeing someone your own age.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : See, isn't this great?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Larry : It's always great to see a black entrepreneur, isn't it?
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.This is why we all come together!^ This is why we all come together!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It is all about coming together as a team.
  • 2nd Half Thread: Oakland Raiders at Pittsburgh - Silver And Black Pride 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.silverandblackpride.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.We break up, we make up, but in the end, the love is the love and the family is the family.^ We break up, we make up, but in the end, the love is the love and the family is the family.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I am perfectly aware that the MSM makes up quotes and polls and otherwise fabricates all kinds of information because they feel the end justifies the means.
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

^ Frasier lets slip the secret, and Mel angrily breaks up with Niles, making Daphne very nervous.
  • Frasier Episode List - TVLoop 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC www.tvloop.com [Source type: General]

Alan: Ease up on the wine, Charlie.

Charlie: No, I'm serious. Move back in.
Lisa: Really? And then what?
Charlie: And then... we'll see.
.Lisa: Wow, a commitment to "see"! And what finger does that ring go on, Charlie?^ And what finger does that ring go on, Charlie?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Forget it, Charlie Harper does not go on blind dates.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Well, I, I, I told her I was going to marry Mia and I think I could actually see her medication stop working.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: Uh, l-- look, I-- I appreciate your-- your feelings for me, but I have to tell you, I-- I really think your-- your daughter deserves a lot of respect.^ Alan [to Jake] : All right, buddy, I'm gonna have to tell you something pretty heavy, but...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : OK, listen, we-- we haven't really, uh, talked about what all this means.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: Excuse me, I realize you're new to this office but we have a zero-tolerance policy here when it comes to sexual harassment.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I mean it-- it takes real courage to make changes in your life and not worry about what everybody thinks.^ I mean it-- it takes real courage to make changes in your life and not worry about what everybody thinks.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ What do you think I was worried about?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ And don’t worry about us filling up your inbox – we’ll limit text blasts to three a month.
  • Discover Greater Cincinnati (2006) 9 February 2010 17:18 UTC issuu.com [Source type: General]

.Judith: Thank you, Alan.^ Shirley: Thank you, Alan.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Denny: Thank you, Alan, for coming with me.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Thank you, Mom.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Evelyn: That's true. .The lesbians of my generation were too scared to come out of the closet.^ The lesbians of my generation were too scared to come out of the closet.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Denny: I can't be sure, but in the middle I think I actually felt smoke coming out my ass.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "No more shall dey in bondage toil, Let my people go; Let dem come out wid Egypt's spoil, Let my people go.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

.Lenore [Judith's mom]: Does that mean what I think it means?^ Lenore [Judith's mom] : Does that mean what I think it means?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : What does she think she's [Judith] doing?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: You haven't told them?^ Brad: [to Alan] I told you to interview.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You haven't told them?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Denny: I told Alan, I'm telling you.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Judith: No. .I thought it would be more appropriate coming from your mother.^ I thought it would be more appropriate coming from your mother.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Narrator : My mother would never hire anyone she thought was irresponsible.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Both of you, and your guests obviously had more to say, and we would have liked to hear each have a chance to expand upon (or challange) the comments presented.
  • Cleveland Cafe: Your thoughts on the show? 11 January 2010 11:28 UTC www.wkyc.com [Source type: General]


.Alan: OK, uh, well, I'm thankful that I can spend the holiday with, uh, all the people I love and...^ Alan : Well, buddy, it's like this: uh, despite his many admirable qualities, your Uncle Charlie is, at heart, a sleazeball.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ They'll spend their teenage years-- well, I certainly don't need to tell Dungeon Master Alan.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan finds out that Myra was sleeping with Charlie] Alan : OK, um, let me just start, uh, by saying I applaud the, uh, the gusto with which you approach life.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

all the people who love me. And Judith.

Alan Harper, Frontier Chiropractor [1.10]

.Alan: What does she think she's [Judith] doing?^ Charlie [talking to Judith on Alan's cell phone, which Jake brought with him] : What am I doing with Alan's phone?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Judith : Alan, sometimes when I think about coming home to you, I start crying in my car.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lenore [Judith's mom] : Does that mean what I think it means?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

She-- she's straight, she's gay, she's straight again... .I mean, place your bets!^ I mean, place your bets!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Where she lands, nobody knows!^ Where she lands, nobody knows!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Alan, it's no big deal.^ Charlie [to Alan] : No crossing swords.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Big deal.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Alan, it's no big deal.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Women get to experiment with their sexuality.^ Women get to experiment with their sexuality.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.It's only guys who have to make a choice and stick to it.^ It's only guys who have to make a choice and stick to it.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ (Hint: Freedom does not mean that the guy who yells the loudest gets to make the rules) .
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

^ Toot : A guy who pokes things with sticks?
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Alan: Where do you get this stuff?^ Alan : Why do you assume it's his stuff?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Where do you get this stuff from?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Where do you get this stuff?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: I make it up.^ Charlie : I make it up.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ NEVER, NEVER, NEVER! Charlie : You know, I didn't make up the "Eckelberry Hound" thing.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Alan, you could get us all laid tomorrow; it's not gonna make up for it.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: Well you know what?^ Alan : I think you know what you have to do.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: She began...to know me too well and I began to hate her for it.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: Well, you made her laugh.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.It doesn't matter if I look cool.^ It doesn't matter if I look cool.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.We judge a person by what's inside, not by what they wear.^ We judge a person by what's inside, not by what they wear.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: Lucky for you, huh?^ Jake : Lucky for you, huh?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Jake: Fine, I'll put on my stupid jacket and we'll get in the stupid car and we'll go stupid clothes shopping!^ Jake : Fine, I'll put on my stupid jacket and we'll get in the stupid car and we'll go stupid clothes shopping!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I'd rather go in the trunk of my car.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : 'Cause there's only so much space in my brain that if you put Magellan in there, I might forget my locker combination.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Hey, don't talk to your stupid father like that!^ Jax, I like your posts so much, when you're talking logically and clearly, and telling us what you think.....
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - Another Kind of Recess 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ Larry: I don't like talking to people I know, but strangers I have no problem with.
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If you seriously liked this then either your incredibly stupid, like vegetable stupid, or your a malicious and conniving being who makes me embarrassed to be called a human.
  • Westboro Baptist Church Continues ‘God Hates Lady Gaga’ Campaign - Megan Phelps records own version of “Poker Face” - Softpedia 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC news.softpedia.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


.Evelyn: Jake, how old are you?^ Jake : How do you know it was me?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Evelyn : Jake, how old are you?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : How can you not believe in them?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Jake: Ten.
.Evelyn [on the phone]: Seven.^ Evelyn [on the phone] : Seven.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: I said ten.^ Jake : I said ten.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Evelyn [whispering to Jake]: If I'm fifty-five, you're seven.^ Evelyn : So, you're blaming Mummy because Little Charlie can't come out and play?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Alan is drunk] Jake : Boy, you're really plowed, aren't you?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Miss Pasternak : Jake, I have wonderful news: From now on, as part of each lesson, we're gonna spend time casting demons out of you.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: Where's my mother?^ Alan : Ironically, not my mother.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Why can't my mother appreciate me?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : OK, now you are starting to sound like my mother.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Jake: She left.
Alan: Why...?
.Jake: I don't know.^ Alan : When Judith was pregnant with Jake, I-- I don't know if it was hormones or pheromones , but...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : Why would I want to know something I don't have to?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Jake leaves] [softly] : I don't want Jake to know about me and Judith.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.We were watching SpongeBob SquarePants, and she stood up and said life was too short.^ We were watching SpongeBob SquarePants , and she stood up and said life was too short.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ SpongeBob Squarepants: Game of Life Cheats .
  • GameZone Forums - Fairly Odd Parents: Clash with the Anti-World 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC forums.gamezone.com [Source type: General]

^ Drawn to Life: SpongeBob SquarePants Edition Cheats .
  • GameZone Forums - Fairly Odd Parents: Clash with the Anti-World 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC forums.gamezone.com [Source type: General]

Camel Filters + Pheromones [1.11]

Charlie: Berta?
.Berta: No, it's Liz Hurley, but I'm holding water.^ Berta : No, it's Liz Hurley , but I'm holding water.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: I'm still sleeping here.^ Charlie : I'm still sleeping here.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Could you come back in a little while?^ But I didn't come back for you.
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Madeline is adorable as ever in her little indian clothes I cannot wait to read your book and very happy to read that the writting comes easier to you then you thought it would.
  • matt, liz and madeline » the last week and a half. 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.mattlogelin.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Your pictures and video clips really brought back the memories I have of my time in India…the sights and sounds…now if only you could get the smells to come through as well.
  • matt, liz and madeline » the last week and a half. 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.mattlogelin.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Berta: I could, or you could get your pampered ass out of bed and let me do my demeaning job and get on with my hellish life.^ Cop: You wanna let me do my job?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Counselor Condon: Could you state your name sir?
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Shirley: Not your whole life, just the parts you love.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Jake: Berta, does Prudence [Berta's sixteen-year-old granddaughter] have a boyfriend?^ Jake : Berta, does Prudence [Berta's sixteen-year-old granddaughter] have a boyfriend?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : I'm a 14-year-old boy who just got ear-boob.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Berta: Oh, honey, don't get me started.^ Berta : Oh, honey, don't get me started.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ There is one particularly high note giving him trouble Niles: Why don't you start here (“Oh night”)?
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: What does that mean?^ Jake : What does that mean?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Berta: It means if she gets a high school diploma before she gets a baby, she'll be the first one in the family.^ I mean, that's how I got through high school.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Berta : It means if she gets a high school diploma before she gets a baby, she'll be the first one in the family.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I am now living in Minnetonka…they say you are from Minnetonka…..how come we never ran across from one another….did you attend Minnetonka High School?
  • matt, liz and madeline » the last week and a half. 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.mattlogelin.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


.Prudence: Can you put some of this [suntan lotion] on my back?^ I am just somebody who wants to stay anonymous in saying my opinion since i am not sure what you might send back to me.
  • Westboro Baptist Church Continues ‘God Hates Lady Gaga’ Campaign - Megan Phelps records own version of “Poker Face” - Softpedia 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC news.softpedia.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ When you've seriously read the entire Koran and lived with authentic Muslims for some time, I guess come back to me.
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

^ "Some o' you fellows get busy and bring back that coal you took last night," he said.

.Alan: [quickly] No.^ Alan : [quickly] No.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Prudence: If you don't, I'll burn.^ I'll be your sister if you don't mind."

^ Prudence : If you don't, I'll burn.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "I'll lay you five to one you don't breakfast with him at all; ten to one you don't do it on his invitation, and"–he hesitated for effect–"twenty to one you don't do it within a week."

Alan: If I do, I will!

.Jake: Thanks for helping me with my book report, Prudence.^ Jake : Thanks for helping me with my book report, Prudence.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Narrator : Only problem with my mother helping at a book fair was she didn't read books and she wasn't fair.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "I would like to thank Taxi for helping me and my partner and become more polished writers."
  • TAXI's Music Industry Listings: What Record Companies, Publishers, Film & TV Music Supervisors Are Looking For 25 September 2009 5:12 UTC www.taxi.com [Source type: General]

.Prudence: Oh, no problem.^ Prudence : Oh, no problem.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Fourth-grade stuff is easy for me.^ Fourth-grade stuff is easy for me.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Berta: Should be. .You did it twice.^ Thats twice today: That I came on at the same time that you did; if it looks like Im stalking you, jejeje.......
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - Another Kind of Recess 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]


Charlie [to Prudence]: I mean you're very nice and pretty, but in prison, so am I.

Sara Like Puny Alan [1.12]

.Alan: All right, even if I weren't deathly ill, which I am, I wouldn't go out on a blind double date with you!^ Alan : And you were right, sir!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "It wouldn't be of any use for me to go, you know.

^ (Jake gets out of his chair on the deck) Alan : Where are you going?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Why not?
.Alan: Summer of my junior year?^ Alan : Summer of my junior year?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Narrator : It's been a year since my mom sent me to Corleone Junior High for a better education.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: My New Year's resolution...is to appreciate my friends every day and catch more fish.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

The Seals and Crofts concert? .You got the incredible cheerleader, and I got her sister, The Incredible Hulk?!^ You got the incredible cheerleader, and I got her sister, The Incredible Hulk ?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Jake: Hey, Dad, wanna hear a funny joke?^ Jake : Hey, Dad, when this is over, wanna play catch?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : Hey, Dad, wanna hear a funny joke?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : Hey, Dad, when you got arrested for shoplifting, did they take you to jail?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Sure, why not.^ Alan : Sure, why not.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: OK, there's a priest, a minister, and a rabbit.^ Jake : OK, there's a priest, a minister, and a rabbit .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ OK, a priest, a minister, and a rabbi.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: That's a "rabbi", Jake.^ Charlie : That's a "rabbi", Jake.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: Oh, yeah.^ Jake : Oh yeah?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : Oh, yeah, she [Mia] wants us to come see her dance next weekend.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : Oh, yeah.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.OK, a priest, a minister, and a rabbi.^ OK, a priest, a minister, and a rabbi.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : OK, there's a priest, a minister, and a rabbit .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I forgot the rest. .I gotta go to the bathroom.^ I gotta go to the bathroom.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Wait, you know why they call this a European health spa?^ Martin: You know, they got a cream for that.
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Why cant you just call it that?
  • Teen Titans : The Lost Season - toonzone forums 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC forums.toonzone.net [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ 'So they know how to wait on a curveball.'

'Cause you're a-peein'.

.Alan: You're not a musician, you're a salesman, and do you know what you sell?^ Alan : You're gonna charge me for that?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You're hitting on the widow!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You know, maybe you're right.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Crap! .Granny's Big Fudge Nuggets?^ Granny's Big Fudge Nuggets?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Maple Loops?
.Charlie: Hey, hey, Maple Loops is part of a nutritious, balanced breakfast.^ Charlie : Hey, hey, Maple Loops is part of a nutritious, balanced breakfast.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Kid, if I wanted to lie to you, I would have said I wrote " Stairway to Heaven ", not the Maple Loops song.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie [starts playing the Maple Loops song] : It's...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Yeah, if you eat it with a steak and some broccoli!^ Alan : Yeah, you know, the Alan of the future.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan [to Jake] : You and I have some talking to do.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Yeah, well, what are you gonna do?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I Can't Afford Hyenas [1.13]

.Alan: How much did you tip him [the pizza delivery man]?^ Alan : You punish him!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : What did you think?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : [to Jake] Do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: I don't know.^ Charlie : Hey, you know the rule: If there's topless sunbathers, you don't hang out and stare at them.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : OK, OK, first of all, you don't know if it's your kid.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I don't know.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I gave him a fifty.^ I gave him a fifty.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Alan: That's... that's like a 300 percent tip!
.Charlie: If you say so.^ Charlie : If you say so.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan finds out that Myra was sleeping with Charlie] Alan : OK, um, let me just start, uh, by saying I applaud the, uh, the gusto with which you approach life.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Judith [to Charlie] : I suppose you're the one who introduced Alan to that slutty little-- Charlie : Don't say it, Judith; you'll just be demeaning all women.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I was never good at math.^ I was never good at math.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Oh, yeah, but you can figure out the point spread, the over-under, and the vigorish on every football game in the country.^ We figured out your little game.
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Narrator : Yeah, you were the guy who got kicked out.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Shirley: [sarcastically] Yes, Alan, I went out and recruited a cannibal just to get close to you.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: What can I tell you?^ Charlie : You're telling me this now?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : I never took any LSD! Charlie : You might want to start telling people you did.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : What can I tell you?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I've got a beautiful mind.^ I've got a beautiful mind .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: Wonderful building.^ Alan : Wonderful building.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: What's wrong with it?
Alan: Well, the phrase "reeks of urine" comes to mind.

.Alan: You have satellite and cable?^ Alan : You have satellite and cable ?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : OK, you can cut back to basic cable.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You cracked the parental code on the cable box again, didn't you?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Sometimes there's solar flares.^ Charlie : Sometimes there's solar flares.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: OK, you can cut back to basic cable.^ Alan : OK, you can cut back to basic cable.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You have satellite and cable ?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Berta has lower back pain while lifting up a laundry basket] Alan : You, uh, you do a lot of lifting?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Basic cable? That's what they get in prison!

[at the supermarket]
Charlie: I can't do this anymore, Alan. I quit.
Alan: You can't quit poverty, Charlie.
.Charlie: I want the good stuff!^ Charlie : I want the good stuff!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : What I've wanted to ask you is, "Do you think I've been a good role model?"
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Well, you already took away all the good stuff.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I want cheese that isn't air-dropped into Third World countries!^ I want cheese that isn't air-dropped into Third World countries!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Because no country wants to step into the US role.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ Clara : I'm sorry for buying child slaves from Third World countries.
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.I want ouchless toilet paper!^ I want ouchless toilet paper!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I want vodka that doesn't look like Fred Flintstone would drink it!^ I want vodka that doesn't look like Fred Flintstone would drink it!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ For me though, her people looked more like real people- real bodies, real expressions- than photographs would, because they capture a certain emotional chaos and anarchy.

^ Look at how many of the commenter’s seem to think this should inspire a call to action – what action would you like to see?
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

.I want my life back.^ I called him Dad all my life, and I still want to refer to him that way.
  • Growing Pains 2 February 2010 14:51 UTC www.mindspring.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Xandir : My wish is to no longer be gay so I can have my old life back.
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Alan: Fine. .Then swallow your pride, call Mom, and ask her to lend you some money.^ Then swallow your pride, call Mom, and ask her to lend you some money.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ (If you want some specific people that I have in mind suggested, please send me an email and I will give you names and numbers of the people I call "heroes" of our community.
  • Cleveland Cafe: Your thoughts on the show? 11 January 2010 11:28 UTC www.wkyc.com [Source type: General]

^ You relish the idea of violence (you call it judgment) perpetrated on those who do not share your ideas - wrath?
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

.Charlie [opening the bottle of generic vodka]: Yabba-dabba-doo.^ Charlie [opening the bottle of generic vodka] : Yabba-dabba-doo.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Round One to the Hot Crazy Chick (Part 1) [1.14]

[Alan and Charlie find Frankie beating up her psychiatrist's car with a baseball bat]
Charlie: You got a nice swing.
Frankie: Thanks!
.Charlie: Try stepping into it.^ Charlie : Try stepping into it.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Charlie, get your priorities straight; I'm trying to get him into a decent middle school!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You'll get more power that way.^ That way you'll have more tendency to chase after them...
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You'll get more power that way.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Freeman : Well, except there's no way you're leaving here with more money than when you came in.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Frankie: You mean like this?^ Beast Boy : You mean the thingy that looks like a pizza with eyeballs?
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You mean, like, across the Mason-Dixon Line?
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Councilman Lamar Johnson : I mean, why would you let your son Chris write a story like this when I'm tryin' to get reelected?
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[she knocks one of the side mirrors off]
.Charlie: Oh, yeah!^ Charlie Brown : Oh Yeah, we beat you worse than Linus' dad beats him.
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Dial one and the area code, 'cause that is long-distance!^ Dial one and the area code, 'cause that is long-distance!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Happily, the bar is one of How long in the few in the area that serves GuinGreater Cincinnati: ness on tap.
  • Discover Greater Cincinnati (2006) 9 February 2010 17:18 UTC issuu.com [Source type: General]


.Charlie: So you're beating up your shrink's car.^ Charlie : You're telling me this now?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You're kidding.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You're not a gangsta, either.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Frankie: He said I have anger issues.^ Frankie : He said I have anger issues.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[breaks a window]
Charlie: The quack.
Frankie: Then he hit on me.
.Charlie: The horny quack!^ Charlie : The horny quack!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


Frankie [to Alan]: Man, deep tissue massage, pancakes... .If you had a TV on your forehead and could breathe through your ears, you'd be perfect!^ If you had a TV on your forehead and could breathe through your ears, you'd be perfect!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "The hackmen who shriek in your ear as you arrive at the depot" .
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ You could keep lyin' or you could tell me you took my earrings.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

That Was Saliva, Alan (Part 2) [1.15]

.Alan: I'm sorry, there's just been a lot of stuff going on.^ Berta : I'm sorry, it was just laying there.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Just go up there and stall.
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : There you go.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Judith: Yeah, I just met your brother's latest "stuff".
.Alan: Why do you assume it's his stuff?^ Alan : Why do you assume it's his stuff?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: Why'd he fire you?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Why do you assume he learned that from me?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Judith: What, is it yours?
.Alan: No, but it's not his either!^ Alan : No, but it's not his either!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: But it could be.
.Alan: Says who?^ Alan : Says who?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Judith [to Charlie] : I suppose you're the one who introduced Alan to that slutty little-- Charlie : Don't say it, Judith; you'll just be demeaning all women.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Says your ex-wife!^ Charlie : Says your ex-wife!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Albert: My ex-wife used to say she could tell when I was nervous because I'd turn off white.
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ That post-nup is as tight as your soon to be sixth ex-wife's tushy.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


[Joanie just met Jake, who was indifferent toward her]
.Charlie: If he can just keep that attitude for another thirty years, he's gold.^ Foxxy : I tried to study up for them SATs, but it became abundtanly clear that this was just another conspiracy to keep the black man down...
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


.Alan: You don't really like girls yet, huh?^ Alan : You do realize I'm straight, right?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "You don't understand what a wallet is like.
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • King of the Hill - Wikiquote 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You don't like them?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: No, I like girls!^ Jake : No, I like girls!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : No, I'm a bachelor like my Uncle Charlie.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I'm just not into eight-year-olds.^ I'm just not into eight-year-olds.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : I'm a 14-year-old boy who just got ear-boob.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Foxxy : And just then, Foxxy remembered something her momma told her when she was only 14 years old.
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


[Frankie and Alan kiss, and Alan starts crying]
Frankie: What's the matter?
.Alan: I don't know!^ Alan : We don't know that.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : [to Alan] Boy, I know how to pick 'em, don't I? .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : When Judith was pregnant with Jake, I-- I don't know if it was hormones or pheromones , but...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.It's been so long since anybody's touched me!^ Charlie : It's been so long since anybody's touched me!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It's been so long since anybody's touched me!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[Alan goes to bed with Charlie]
Charlie: Alan?
Alan: Yes?
.Charlie: It's been so long since anybody's touched me!^ Charlie : It's been so long since anybody's touched me!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It's been so long since anybody's touched me!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Ate The Hamburgers, Wearing The Hats [1.16]

.Charlie: Who gets him [Jake] in that [worst-case] scenario thing?^ Then take the worst case scenario which can happen.
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

^ I don't remember getting him those nice things.
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ On the other hand, Numi is sweet but she is one of those people who are used to getting things her way.

Alan: Cousin Jerry and his wife Fay.
Charlie: Jerry and Fay? Why Jerry and Fay?
.Alan: Well, they-- they've a good marriage, three kids, lots of dogs, a big backyard, and they live in a great school district.^ Alan : Well, they-- they've a good marriage, three kids, lots of dogs, a big backyard, and they live in a great school district.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If the parents are invested in their kids, then they will invest in the schools.
  • Cleveland Cafe: Your thoughts on the show? 11 January 2010 11:28 UTC www.wkyc.com [Source type: General]

^ That was a great school, a lot of radicals there.
  • Chris Hedges: Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama - Chris Hedges' Columns -Truthdig 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.truthdig.com [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Yeah, but I'm your brother!^ Judith : Yeah, I just met your brother's latest "stuff".
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Sean Penn : Charlie, when are you gonna stop resenting your brother just for being born?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Yeah, well, that kind of attitude is why you sleep alone with a copy of Monster Boobs magazine under your pillow.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Alan: Charlie, it's--
Charlie: And I live right here! .You wouldn't have to ship him off to...^ You wouldn't have to ship him off to...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "Thar was Mose--Judge, you remember Mose; he wouldn't let no stranger talk to him, he wouldn't.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Denny: No, I made sure to ship him off to some country with no extradition.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Cornhole, Kansas!
.Alan: Coventry, Rhode Island.^ Alan : Coventry, Rhode Island .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Who am I thinking of that lives in Kansas?^ Charlie : Who am I thinking of that lives in Kansas?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Think of it as musical chairs , but when the music stops, the guys who have a clue are sitting on a woman instead of a chair.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: I don't know, Dorothy and Toto?^ Alan : I don't know, Dorothy and Toto ?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : I don't know, but it always seem works out that when you get laid, I get screwed!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I don't know, maybe Alan and I accidentally switched phones.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


[Charlie takes Jake to the hospital]
.Nurse: He's gonna be fine.^ [Charlie takes Jake to the hospital] Nurse : He's gonna be fine.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: That's it? ."Bup, bup, bup, he's gonna be fine?"^ "Bup, bup, bup, he's gonna be fine?"
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.That's not a medical test -- that's how you hypnotize a chicken!^ That's not a medical test -- that's how you hypnotize a chicken!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Jake: How many stitches am I gonna get?^ Jake : How many stitches am I gonna get?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Jake leaves] How long is this whole grounding thing gonna go on for?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Doctor: Oh, I don't know, three or four.^ Doctor : Oh, I don't know, three or four.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You know how they say if your erection lasts more than four hours, you should call your doctor?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Denny: Oh, I don't know, attack Rhode Island.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Jake: That's all? .Scott Pressman got nine when his sister hit him with an Etch A Sketch.^ Scott Pressman got nine when his sister hit him with an Etch A Sketch .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Charlie [talking to Judith on Alan's cell phone, which Jake brought with him]: What am I doing with Alan's phone?^ Charlie [talking to Judith on Alan's cell phone, which Jake brought with him] : What am I doing with Alan's phone?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan] You said you talked to him.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan [to Jake] : You and I have some talking to do.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Why, do you want custody of that, too?^ Why, do you want custody of that, too?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If you want to insult people, why not go to a Fox forum?
  • Chris Hedges: Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama - Chris Hedges' Columns -Truthdig 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.truthdig.com [Source type: Original source]

.[pause] Oh, come on, that's funny!^ Oh, come on, that's funny!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[pause] I don't know, maybe Alan and I accidentally switched phones.^ Alan : I don't know, Dorothy and Toto ?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I don't know, maybe Alan and I accidentally switched phones.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Chelsea leaves Charlie while Alan argues on the phone with Melissa] Charlie : Oh, please don't leave!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Why don't you try calling him on mine?^ So why don't you tell me?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Why don't you get a vasectomy?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Why don't you try calling him on mine?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.310-LICK-ME. [pause] Hey, I didn't pick it, but that's what it spells!^ LICK-ME. [pause] Hey, I didn't pick it, but that's what it spells!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: Uh, if Mom's ever in a coma, you're the one who has to decide to pull the plug.^ Cyborg : Uh, 'cause you're you.
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Lemme guess, you're the type of person who plays d&d and pretends to be "deep" just because he's a pretentious little sob nerd.
  • Ain't It Cool News: The best in movie, TV, DVD, and comic book news. 20 September 2009 12:012 UTC www.aintitcool.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ You must be in league with those academics you described yesterday who can only handle one specialty at a time.
  • Chris Hedges: Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama - Chris Hedges' Columns -Truthdig 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.truthdig.com [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Pull.

An Old Flame With a New Wick [1.17]

.Charlie: If I had a nickel for every time a girl dumped me, disappeared for five years, and came back as a guy, I'd have a nickel!^ Charlie : If I had a nickel for every time a girl dumped me, disappeared for five years, and came back as a guy, I'd have a nickel!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : And forty-five minutes to get back.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ (I did teach that guy nursing back 15 years ago before he went to Doc school) Now I have to start on some replacement therapy.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]


.Evelyn: Shall we go to my place for coffee and cigars?^ Evelyn : Shall we go to my place for coffee and cigars?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: My friend, one of my goals in life is to go to all the places you've gone.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "No more shall dey in bondage toil, Let my people go; Let dem come out wid Egypt's spoil, Let my people go.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

.Bill/Jill: I don't smoke.^ Bill/Jill : I don't smoke.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Evelyn: You will when I'm done with you. [they leave]
.Alan: Oh, my God!^ Rochelle : Oh, my God!
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Martin: Oh, my God!
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Oh my god..
  • 2nd Half Thread: Oakland Raiders at Pittsburgh - Silver And Black Pride 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC www.silverandblackpride.com [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.He's, like, half her age.^ He's, like, half her age.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Yeah. That's the problem.

.Alan: Why are we looking at Jill?^ Alan : Why are we looking at Jill?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Just look at it!
.Alan: All right, she's cute.^ Alan: Don't start with me, Denny, all right?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Very tall, broad shoulders-- HOLY MOTHER OF GOD!
Charlie: Welcome to The Matrix.

.Charlie: I slept with a woman who wanted to be a man.^ Charlie : I slept with a woman who wanted to be a man.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Or, I slept with a man in a woman's body.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I want to be with a man who can be sensitive and caring, nurturing, you know, someone who can make me laugh, make me think.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Or, I slept with a man in a woman's body.^ Or, I slept with a man in a woman's body.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I slept with a woman who wanted to be a man.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Or, and this is my new favorite and the title of my autobiography, my mom and I slept with the same dude!^ Or, and this is my new favorite and the title of my autobiography, my mom and I slept with the same dude!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


Charlie: I want you to tell me there is no chance that either of us will ever have to call a woman I slept with "Daddy"!

Berta: One brother turns 'em gay, the other turns 'em guy.

I Remember the Coatroom, I Just Don't Remember You [1.18]

.Evelyn: You're looking very well, slimming down nicely.^ You're turning down a hospital?
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If you're thirsty, well, then you drink it!
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Evelyn : You're looking very well, slimming down nicely.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Judith: Thanks. .I recently dropped 160 pounds.^ I recently dropped 160 pounds.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: 152. [to Liz]: I take Pilates.^ Liz] : I take Pilates .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Judith: Don't you think you've had enough to drink at the magic show, Evelyn?^ Robin : I don’t think you understand.
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You’ve always got an excuse, don’t you?
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

^ Do you think he is man enough to apologize?
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

.Evelyn: Excuse me, darling, but some of us deal with our boredom and depression the old-fashioned, non-prescription way.^ "That old man made way for us simply out of deference to our social position.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ The station-agent came to see us, and announced that some of the "Indians had been having a circus" during our absence.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Being forced to confront how forgettable some people are reminds us of our own mortality.


[Judith and Liz are arguing over Alan during Jake's birthday party]
.Jake: Why are they fighting?^ [Charlie is watching a boxing match with Jake, who is unimpressed] Jake : In ultimate fighting , they kick, they elbow, they get a guy down and smash his head on the floor.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : Well, they [Judith and Herb] are fighting a lot.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Judith and Liz are arguing over Alan during Jake's birthday party] Jake : Why are they fighting?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Oh, they're not fighting, they're discussing.^ Alan : Oh, they're not fighting, they're discussing.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : They're fighting.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : They're always in the last place you look.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: I'm a child of divorce, Dad.^ Kandi : You know, I'm a child of divorce too, Jake.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : I'm a child of divorce, Dad.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : Hey, Dad, did you get a present when you got divorced?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

I know the difference.

.Judith [to Liz]: Ever since we were kids, any time I loved something, you had to take it away from me.^ Judith [to Liz] : Ever since we were kids, any time I loved something, you had to take it away from me.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It's been the same since you were kids.
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Beastboy : You did something to take away her memory.
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.But you will not take away my ex-husband!^ "I want you to take my picture."
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ But you will not take away my ex-husband!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ What do you hope that readers are able to take away from Exit Wounds?

.Alan: You love me?^ Charlie and Alan : I love you!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You love me?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : [to Alan] First of all, that little boy loves you.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Judith: What? .No, I'm trying to make a point here!^ No, I'm trying to make a point here!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ He had no finesse, and here was a point-blank question.

^ The point that interested me most here was that on each general quarters drill all Pearl Harbor veterans were at their appointed stations before I arrived, no matter how hard I tried to beat them there.
  • Growing Pains 2 February 2010 14:51 UTC www.mindspring.com [Source type: Original source]


.Judith: OK, fine.^ Judith : OK, fine.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You always wanted Liz, go ahead.^ You always wanted Liz, go ahead.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Don't you want to go to Heaven?
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ Julius : No, I've always wanted to go to another planet.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Here's your chance.^ Here's your chance.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Look here," he added, "your name's not Joe, by any chance?"

.Give her your little "adjustment". And maybe while you're having a good time with my sister, I'll have a good time with your brother.^ Chelsea : So you're not against maybe having one of your own someday?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Niles : Frasier, you're my brother.
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Timantha: You're my godparents.
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

[puts her right arm around Charlie]
.Charlie: Beg pardon?^ Charlie] Charlie : Beg pardon?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Judith: Oh, don't be coy with me, Charlie. .You know we've always had sexual tension between us!^ You've got to come with us!
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You've always been in love with you-a.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You've always had a choice!
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Really? I... thought it was just regular tension.
.Judith: Come on, I've seen you looking at my chest.^ You wanna come to my funeral?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Have you seen my wife?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ But I've got my eye on you.

.Alan: You looked at my wife's chest?^ After all, he was actually restructuring my way of looking at myself, my wife, and my parents.
  • Growing Pains 2 February 2010 14:51 UTC www.mindspring.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Denny: [to Alan] I don't want to look at you right now.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ He was having dinner with his wife and he meant to say "Pass the salt," but instead he said "You've ruined my life, you blood-sucking shrew."
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: Hey, I'm a guy!

Hey, I Can Pee Outside in the Dark [1.19]

[Jake is playing "Smoke on the Water" on the guitar in his bedroom]
.Judith: All he does is sit in his room and play that damn thing!^ While I do not advocate blind allegience to whomever sits as head of this city, there has to be a voice to trumpet all the great things this town has to offer.
  • Cleveland Cafe: Your thoughts on the show? 11 January 2010 11:28 UTC www.wkyc.com [Source type: General]

^ Not only does it have the necessary parables (which require us to look within) - but it has that whole divinity thing and plus you can find it in most hotel rooms.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

He's isolating, Alan!
.Alan: That doesn't mean he needs to see a therapist!^ Alan : That doesn't mean he needs to see a therapist!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Just because something isn’t working as well as it should doesn’t mean it needs to be scrapped altogether.
  • Chris Hedges: Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama - Chris Hedges' Columns -Truthdig 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.truthdig.com [Source type: Original source]

^ Can you see the insult in saying a child doesn't need a mother anymore than a child needs two men?
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

.He-- he's just a normal eleven-year-old kid who happens to be a little grumpy!^ He-- he's just a normal eleven-year-old kid who happens to be a little grumpy!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I'm just not into eight-year-olds.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I think that was a pretty fair accomplishment for a couple of grade school kids, maybe ten years old, with no guidance.
  • Growing Pains 2 February 2010 14:51 UTC www.mindspring.com [Source type: Original source]

.Judith: And I'm a normal thirty-five-year-old mother who happens to be running out of patience.^ Judith : And I'm a normal thirty-five-year-old mother who happens to be running out of patience.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ He-- he's just a normal eleven-year-old kid who happens to be a little grumpy!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ What happens when the batteries run out?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

And by "patience", I mean Prozac!
.Alan: Wait, you can't still be thirty-five.^ Alan : Are you still reading that thing?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Wait, you can't still be thirty-five.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Evelyn introduced the still-injured Alan to Mona] Mona : What happened to you?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Jake: OK, you want to know what's bothering me?^ Jake : OK, you want to know what's bothering me?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : How do you know it was me?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Well, you want to know what I think?
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Alan: Yeah, yeah!
.Jake: People keep on asking me what's bothering me!^ Jake : People keep on asking me what's bothering me!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Evelyn: Granted, I have no idea what's it like to be an eleven-year-old boy, but I do know one thing, sweetheart.^ Evelyn : Granted, I have no idea what's it like to be an eleven-year-old boy, but I do know one thing, sweetheart.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Cosmo & Wanda: A stupid eleven year old boy!
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Alan : No, wait, no, I know this one: Uh, " Johnny Depp cruised to success in this comedy-action film inspired by a Disneyland attraction."
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.You have no idea what real unhappiness is.^ Robin : You have no idea.
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: You have no idea.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ All this time, I had no idea - the power lurking inside you.
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Real unhappiness is being totally ignored by the very people you gave birth to!^ You, and People like you really don't get it.
  • 'Curb Your Enthusiasm': Larry David Urinates on Picture of Jesus | NewsBusters.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC newsbusters.org [Source type: General]

^ Both of you are in positions to meet the REAL people of Cleveland, thus I was surprised by those two choices.
  • Cleveland Cafe: Your thoughts on the show? 11 January 2010 11:28 UTC www.wkyc.com [Source type: General]

^ The thing you have to realize, besides Obama only being a puppet of the shadow government, is this.
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama | CommonDreams.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.commondreams.org [Source type: General]

.Real unhappiness is when you're recovering from liposuction and your only grandson doesn't even send you a get-well card.^ You're really a rabbit!
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "Well, you'd better send your regrets."

^ If you're thirsty, well, then you drink it!
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.And FYI, I only had that surgery so you wouldn't have a grandmommy with matronly upper arms.^ And FYI, I only had that surgery so you wouldn't have a grandmommy with matronly upper arms.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Well, if he didn't need a shrink before, he needs one now.^ Alan : Well, if he didn't need a shrink before, he needs one now.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Now off the mow because if I don't it will compromise one of the above aspects of my well-being.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ They'll spend their teenage years-- well, I certainly don't need to tell Dungeon Master Alan.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


[Jake is upbeat after several days of being sullen]
.Alan: What happened to him?^ [Jake is upbeat after several days of being sullen] Alan : What happened to him?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: If I didn't know better, I'd swear he got laid last night.^ Charlie : If I didn't know better, I'd swear he got laid last night.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : We had fun last night, though, right?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ NEVER, NEVER, NEVER! Charlie : You know, I didn't make up the "Eckelberry Hound" thing.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Berta: I hope you don't mind, but I talked to him before he went to sleep last night.^ Danny] : So, Charlie, how did you sleep last night?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Berta : You're cleaning him?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ He specifically asked me last night to keep him away from you.
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: What did you say?^ Foxxy : What did you say, Hadji?
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Alan : What did you think?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You actually did that?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Berta: I said: "Drink this bottle of prune juice". You feed him nothing but pizza and pancakes!^ "We've been keeping an eye open for you," said the stable sergeant, stepping between him and the car.

^ Frasier does so too, ruminating that his father has never in his life said I love you to him.
  • Frasier Episode List - TVLoop 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC www.tvloop.com [Source type: General]

^ Denny: [to Claire] You said I'd like him.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.It's a wonder his eyeballs are still in their sockets.^ It's a wonder his eyeballs are still in their sockets.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

No Sniffing, No Wowing [1.20]

.Charlie: Hey, if you listened to me in the first place, you wouldn't be in this mess.^ Larry : You didn't tell me you were sitting, I wouldn't have given you money in the first place.
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Caruso : Hey Major Harris, if you mess up our pizza day, I'm gonna smack the crust outta you.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I'm the one who told you not to marry her.^ Who told you I went numb.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ I'm the one who told you not to marry her.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You must be in league with those academics you described yesterday who can only handle one specialty at a time.
  • Chris Hedges: Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama - Chris Hedges' Columns -Truthdig 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.truthdig.com [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: You're also the one who told me that if I jumped off the garage roof with a bath towel tied around my neck, I could fly to school.^ Timantha: You're my godparents.
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Alan : You're gonna charge me for that?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: I can see you're aroused.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: The one time you listen to me.^ Alan : Have you been listening this whole time?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : OK, you're not listening.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : The one time you listen to me.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Let me tell you another thing: if I hadn't married Judith, there would be no Jake.^ Alan : Now that's another thing!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : What would you do?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: Are you telling me this handwritten will is valid?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: I didn't say you couldn't knock her up!^ Charlie : If you say so.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I didn't think so, but you asked.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I didn't say you couldn't knock her up!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


Laura: My point is, if Mrs. Harper decides to make an issue out of your lifestyle, you need to be prepared.
Charlie: What's wrong with my lifestyle?
.Alan: Oh, no.^ Alan : Oh, no, no, no, I-- I'm the perfect guy to ask.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Oh, no.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Oh, no-no, no, nothing's happened yet.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.We're not going down that road at $300 an hour.^ We're not going down that road at $300 an hour.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ At ten-thirty, going to a window in one of the two upper squad rooms, he made out a small car down the road, and a girl with a pink hat in it.

^ Larry : You'll go in, he'll be up there, you're down here.
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Charlie: You know, it suddenly occurs to me.^ Charlie : You know, it suddenly occurs to me.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You really wanna know?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You know what that smell is?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.I'm usually the one sneaking out when the man gets home.^ I'm usually the one sneaking out when the man gets home.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ It draws out anger and fear when Numi finds it with a man whod witnessed the bombing, as it later brings comfort, and then release when the scarf finally finds its final home.

^ One day our home was robbed while we were out.
  • Growing Pains 2 February 2010 14:51 UTC www.mindspring.com [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: I love that [massage] chair.^ Alan : I love that [massage] chair.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.That was the only thing in my bedroom that moved when I touched it.^ That was the only thing in my bedroom that moved when I touched it.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Narrator : For my father to waste food, that could only mean one thing: hell must've frozen over.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Login or register to post comments report this comment dougnwagner September 2nd, 2008 4:03 am the only thing I've curbed my enthusiasm for is this website.
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm for Obama | CommonDreams.org 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC www.commondreams.org [Source type: General]


.Charlie: Hey, that was quick.^ Charlie : Hey, that was quick.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Alan: Yeah. .Like every other time Judith screwed me.^ Like every other time Judith screwed me.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : He might be the greatest guy in the world, but he'll end up like every other husband or boyfriend she's ever had.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Julius : You just can't quit every time you don't like something.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Charlie: What happened?
Alan: What happened? .I'll tell you what happened.^ They'll tell you.
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : I'll tell you what I wonder.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Larry : I'll tell you what I'm driving at!
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.My settlement conference turned into a drive-by colonoscopy.^ My settlement conference turned into a drive-by colonoscopy .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Clara is walking by the pool, depressed] Clara : Ever since my evil stepmother turned my vagina into a monster, I felt like people were disgusted by me and my Octopussoir.
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Three beers and a bratwurst and my ass turns into a French horn.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

My Doctor has a Cow Puppet [1.21]

.Charlie: If crazy ever becomes an Olympic event, I get the first two legs of the relay.^ Charlie : If crazy ever becomes an Olympic event, I get the first two legs of the relay.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Well, actually, to me it spells "weekend in Bangkok with two Olympic gymnasts".
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Jake: Were you talking to Mom?^ Jake : Were you talking to Mom?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan [to Jake] : You and I have some talking to do.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : What are you talking about?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Yes, but I-- I hung up before I said the bad stuff.^ Alan : Yes, but I-- I hung up before I said the bad stuff.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: Erica, before I pick up the phone, is there anything else I need to know?
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ However, we hung up a poster that said, “We Believe That A Woman Has A Right To Control Her Own Body.” Denny Crane: Objection - misleading.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: Yeah, she does the same thing to you.^ Denny: Yeah, same thing in Lebanon.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : Yeah, she does the same thing to you.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : Yeah, but you stink.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


Alan: Um... remember, we have .Jake's "session" first.^ Jake's "session" first.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Oh, man, I thought you didn't want him to go back to that quack.^ Susie : I thought you were a family man!
  • Curb Your Enthusiasm - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 13:52 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Aw, man, you didn't tell me that!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Mom, have you thought this through?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: I didn't, but Judith and I...^ Alan : I didn't, but Judith and I...
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

talked, and we decided that what .I want makes no difference whatsoever.^ It seemed to make no difference to the crew.
  • Growing Pains 2 February 2010 14:51 UTC www.mindspring.com [Source type: Original source]

^ I want makes no difference whatsoever.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Man, you are so whipped!^ Charlie : Man, you are so whipped!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Rose : So I suppose Charlie hasn't told you I have a new man in my life.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Aw, man, you didn't tell me that!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Alan: I am not whipped! .I just-- I'm just trying to keep everybody happy.^ I just-- I'm just trying to keep everybody happy.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ But, so happy they do not kill you whilst trying to heal you...you are just happy to get away from medical care.
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ Foxxy : I tried to study up for them SATs, but it became abundtanly clear that this was just another conspiracy to keep the black man down...
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

.Charlie: Meow-fitchoo!^ Charlie : Meow-fitchoo!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Alan: I am not "meow-fitchooed".
.Charlie: You're right.^ Charlie : You're telling me this now?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ You know, maybe you're right.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : You're kidding.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

It's been a long time since you got any "meow".
.Jake: Are we getting a cat?^ Jake : Are we getting a cat?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Jake: My doctor has a cow puppet.^ Jake : My doctor has a cow puppet.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ My Doctor has a Cow Puppet [1.21] .
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Evelyn: Really? MD or PhD?
Jake: C-O-W.
.Charlie: Hey, Mom, can I talk to you for a minute?^ Charlie : You'll understand in a minute.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Mom, have you thought this through?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan is talking on the phone] Charlie : Hey, Alan!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Evelyn: Oh, be right there.^ Narrator : Oh, there's a word I wanna say, all right!
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Narrator : Oh, there's a jazzy beat I want to give her, right upside the head!
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.[to Jake]: Now, honey, the cow puppet doesn't need to know about the time you saw Grandmommy dancing with the Cuban gentleman in the Neiman Marcus changing room.^ Denny: Here's what you need to know about the practice of law.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Raven needs time to get used to you.
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Foxxy : That's right now, you know.
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • Drawn Together - Wikiquote 2 February 2010 14:24 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

Just Like Buffalo [1.22]

.Kathleen: You have a girlfriend yet?^ Kathleen : You have a girlfriend yet?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: No, I'm a bachelor like my Uncle Charlie.^ Charlie : Nobody likes a wiseass, Jake.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : No, I'm a bachelor like my Uncle Charlie.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : No, I like girls!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Linda: So you're never gonna get married?^ Linda : You're sorry?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You're gonna charge me for that?!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ If you're gonna do something, do it quick!
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Jake: No, as long as I got someone to clean my house and some action on a regular basis, I don't need a wife.^ Alan : No, I don't need a hint!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Jake : No, as long as I got someone to clean my house and some action on a regular basis, I don't need a wife.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : No dogs in my house, especially not stolen ones that are large enough to make me their bitch.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

Mandy: Excuse me?
.Jake: I don't want to give anybody half my stuff.^ Chloe - HA! I don't want to change anybody here cuz I think you're wonderful, and don't want to change anybody else because I don't want the damned responsibility!
  • CQ Politics | Craig Crawford's Trail Mix - This Was Recess? 11 September 2009 9:48 UTC blogs.cqpolitics.com [Source type: General]

^ Dad: That reminds me: I don't want my summer to be lame and icky!
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]

^ Clown : [sarcastically] "No mom, I don't wanna go to college, no I want to 'follow my dreams' and become a clown."
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]
  • The Fairly OddParents - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 17:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: FILTERED WITH BAYES]


.Alan: Your sexist, manipulative attitude toward women just got into Jake's head, and he spewed it out in front of his mother's angry women's support group!^ In front, jutting out at the right hand, a long wall now fallen into decay showed the nature of the mission's original defenses.
  • Edward King, 1848-1896. The Great South; A Record of Journeys in Louisiana, Texas, the Indian Territory, Missouri, Arkansas, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, Florida, South Carolina, North Carolina, Kentucky, Tennessee, Virginia, West Virginia, and Maryland 18 January 2010 7:13 UTC docsouth.unc.edu [Source type: Original source]

^ [Frasier has just found out his mother was pregnant with him at her wedding.
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Frasier - Wikiquote 17 January 2010 15:11 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ "You are not going to change your mother's attitudes or feelings."
  • Growing Pains 2 February 2010 14:51 UTC www.mindspring.com [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Wait a minute, wait a minute.^ Charlie : Wait a minute, wait a minute.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Is it a women's support group that's angry, or a support group just for angry women?^ Is it a women's support group that's angry, or a support group just for angry women?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : You think I joined a support group to pick up women?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Your sexist, manipulative attitude toward women just got into Jake's head, and he spewed it out in front of his mother's angry women's support group!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: What difference does it make?^ Alan : Does that make a difference?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : What difference does it make?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Chris : What difference does it make?
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Everybody Hates Chris - Wikiquote 25 January 2010 2:59 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Charlie: Well, if they were already angry, then I'm less culpable.^ Charlie : Well, if they were already angry, then I'm less culpable.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Well, I figured you get laid less often than a boil-covered dwarf, am I right?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : News flash, Alan: they're already out of their pants!
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Charlie: Man, Jake's gonna love this video game.^ Charlie : He's gonna love you, Rose.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Man, Jake's gonna love this video game.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ [Charlie takes Jake to the hospital] Nurse : He's gonna be fine.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Listen to this: "Sixteen levels of ultra-realistic murder and mayhem, 24 flesh-ripping weapons, plus gratuitous nudity!"^ Listen to this: "Sixteen levels of ultra-realistic murder and mayhem, 24 flesh-ripping weapons, plus gratuitous nudity!"
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Let me see that.^ Alan : Let me see that.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: Let me see your underwear, Denise.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Now, let's see, huh?
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[looks at the box] "Scooter's Magic Tree Fort"?
.Charlie: Scooter's a zombie.^ Charlie : Scooter's a zombie.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Alan: Um, I'm gonna go get Jake, but I'll leave the front door unlocked in case Satan shows up to collect your soul.^ He'll come for your soul and he'll leave empty-handed.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan : Um, I'm gonna go get Jake, but I'll leave the front door unlocked in case Satan shows up to collect your soul.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Alan: Um, something came up.
  • Boston Legal - Wikiquote 10 February 2010 12:33 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

[A little later]
.Charlie: Women are suckers for a good apology.^ [A little later] Charlie : Women are suckers for a good apology.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Just keep shoveling it on till roses start growing in it.^ Just keep shoveling it on till roses start growing in it.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.Alan: Poor Satan.^ Alan: Poor Satan.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

.He'll come for your soul and he'll leave empty-handed.^ Cyborg : (Holding up a detached arm) Come on, I'll play with one hand behind my back!
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Cyborg : Whoever you are, come out with your hands or tentacles up!
  • Teen Titans - Wikiquote 10 January 2010 20:55 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]


.Charlie: I'm sorry, man.^ Charlie : I'm sorry, man.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Oh, man, I'm sorry.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]

^ Charlie : Oh, man I'm sorry.
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC en.wikiquote.org [Source type: Original source]
  • Two and a Half Men - Wikiquote 23 January 2010 5:14 UTC