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Without a Paddle

Theatrical release poster
Directed by Steven Brill
Produced by Donald DeLine
Written by Screenplay
Jay Leggett
Mitch Rouse
Story
Fred Wolf
Harris Goldberg
Tom Nursall
Starring Seth Green
Matthew Lillard
Dax Shepard
Ethan Suplee
Abraham Benrubi
Rachel Blanchard
and Burt Reynolds
Music by Christophe Beck
Cinematography Jonathan Brown
Editing by Debra Neil-Fisher
Peck Prior
Distributed by Paramount Pictures
Release date(s) August 20, 2004
Running time 99 minutes
Country United States
New Zealand
Language English
Budget US$19 million
Gross revenue $69,631,118 (worldwide)
Followed by Without a Paddle: Nature's Calling

Without a Paddle is a 2004 comedy film about three men going on a trip up a remote river in order to search for the body of a long lost thief and his loot. The film stars Matthew Lillard, Seth Green and Dax Shepard.

A spinoff, Without a Paddle: Nature's Calling, was released in January 2009.

Contents

Plot

Ten years after graduating from high school, three friends, Jerry (Matthew Lillard), Dan (Seth Green) and Tom (Dax Shepard), find out that their childhood friend, Billy (Antony Starr), died in a para-sailing accident in Costa Rica. After the burial, they take a trip down down memory lane and enter their tree house, where the four hung out when they were children. They find a map leading to D. B. Cooper's lost treasure that Billy has apparently been working on his whole life. Dan takes a break from his job as a doctor and joins Jerry and Tom on a camping trip to find the treasure.

They take a canoe down the river and find Grandpa's Nose (a rock formation), and they stay on the riverside for the night. Standing around the camp fire, they discover they forgot to bring food; so Tom goes out to catch some fish. Despite his shining skills, a grizzly bear shows up and chases the group away. Dan trips and is caught up with by the bear, who thinks Dan is its cub. It brings Dan back to its 'nest' and forces him to eat a mutilated dead squirrel. Dan manages to escape and the trio ends up sleeping in a tree. In the morning, they find all their gear ripped up and completely destroyed by the bear - even Dan's cellphone, which the animal swallowed. The bear, they find to their dismay, had also ripped a hole in the map.

The trio takes off in the river, but, unable to read the map, they go the wrong way. The split leads them into rapids where they are nearly killed and drowned. The map is lost, and they end up falling off a waterfall, but landing safely in a belly of water. Unfortunately, their canoe has been smashed to pieces. They take off into the woods with a compass and find themselves at a pot farm, in which two violent farmers, Dennis (Abraham Benrubi) and Elwood (Ethan Suplee), mistake them for thieves and start shooting at them. The friends escape into the farm, but the security flares go off and hit the growth, causing a bunch of smoke to wallow around and get the trio effectively stoned. While the farmers, wearing bandannas over their faces, are on their tail, the guys fall into a pond barely escape, using reeds to breathe. The farmers take off, and the guys then run into the woods. In the morning, the farmers find their crop burned and they set off to kill Jerry, Dan and Tom.

The trio meets two hippie girls far into the forest, who treat the men with food, communication and love up in their huge tree. Using the radio, the farmers find them and attempt to cut down the tree, both distressing and enraging the hippie girls. They drop paper bags full of feces at the farmers to distract them while the guys escape. Half naked, the guys are lost into the woods, while it is pouring rain. The only way they have to survive is to hold on to each other for warmth. Suddenly, they are caught by a man living up in the mountains, who takes the them up to his hut and provides them with clothes. The man is named Del Knox (Burt Reynolds), once D. B.'s partner before his death.

The next morning, the farmers find them and assault the house. The guys escape while Del Knox shoots at the two bad guys with his revolver. The guys stumble upon the site in which D. B. crashed landed, discovering his corpse along with the suitcase holding the money. It turns out that D. B. burned his share of the money, just for a few more minutes of life. They then toss their valuable possessions on his body, including Dan's C-3PO action figure, Jerry's Brian Bosworth card, and Tom's condom. The only way out of the cave is for Dan to crawl through a small tunnel. The farmers find Jerry and Tom below and Dan comes from the ground and hits them with a log. The farmers fall down and they engage in a brawl with Tom and Jerry, consisting of Tom kicking the gun out of Elwood's hands, Dennis tossing Jerry onto the ground, Then Tom leaps onto Dennis's back so Dennis spins Tom off, then they begin punching, kicking and biting. Eventually, a sheriff (who actually helped Dan, Tom, and Jerry in the beginning) arrives; however, it is discovered that he was working with the pot farmers all along. The three are cornered and Jerry, who took one of the farmer's grenades, flips off the pin but accidentally drops it. Moments before it blows, he throws it towards the bad guys; it explodes, causing a tree to fall on the farmers and sheriff. The three bad guys are arrested afterwards.

In the end, Jerry, Dan, and Tom earn half of the remaining money from D. B. Cooper's partner. Jerry proposes to his girlfriend, Dan starts a relationship with one of the hippie girls and gets laid for the first time, and Tom is a camp counselor for a children's summer camp, who ends up telling his troop all about the camping trip.

Cast

Production

Although the film details an ill-prepared camping and canoe trip into the Oregon wilds, Without A Paddle was filmed in New Zealand to take advantage of tax rebates. Most of the outdoor camping scenes were shot inside a very large warehouse.

Reception

Without a Paddle received many negative reviews from the critics. Based on 119 reviews collected by the film review aggregator Rotten Tomatoes, 14% of critics gave the film a positive review, with an average rating of 3.9/10.[1]

The film was a commercial success, grossing $58,169,327 in North American and $11,461,791 internationally , making its worldwide gross $69,631,118.[2]

The poor reception of the film is alluded to in the Family Guy's Something, Something, Something Darkside -- a spoof on the George Lucas sci-fi thriller, The Empire Strikes Back. At the end of the film, Peter mocks Chris (played by Seth Green) about the movie. Green's character then curses at Peter and runs out of the room.

See also

References

External links


Quotes

Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

Without a Paddle is a 2004 film about three men going on a camping trip. The movie stars Matthew Lillard, Seth Green and Dax Shepard. The film is somewhat a parody of adventure films like Deliverance — indeed, one of the stars of Deliverance, Burt Reynolds, makes an appearance in the film, and the plotlines are similar.

Contents

Tom Marshall

Tom Marshall: See ya, Ray Bans.

Tom Marshall: It was like her eyes were trying to escape her head

Tom Marshall: I'm not an astronaut, I'm an American.

Tom Marshall: This never leaves the cave.

[Jerry, Dan and Tom discovering a barn full of marijuana]
Tom Marshall: Great mother of ganja!

[A laser dot from Dennis' rifle is pinpointing on Tom's forehead just before dodging a rifle shot]
Tom Marshall: [whilst high on marijuana, in a Pakistani accent] I will give you four cows for your niece's hand in marriage!

Jerry Conlaine


Jerry Conlaine: You guys, check out this map. It looks like Billy left us a treasure map.

Jerry Conlaine: That bear loves you Dan-o!

Jerry Conlaine: Trees!

Jerry Conlaine: Wow, this song is so uncool.

Jerry Conlaine: No worries, no responsibilities, just living in the moment.

Jerry Conlaine: I'm what neurologists call slow!

Dan Mott

[Billy's Italian girlfriend rubs herself on his casket]
Dan Mott: Billy's dead and he still has a better chance of getting laid than I do.

Dan Mott: [While high on marijuana, after dodging a bullet] Whoa... Matrix.

Dan Mott: Stop it! Stop it! Shut up! I am Doctor Mott!

Dan Mott: Stop, drop, and roll!

Del Knox

[After finding Dan, Jerry and Tom in their boxers]
Del Knox: You boys better get dressed faster 'cause I been up here alone for almost 30 years now.

Other

Elwood:[repeated line] How do ya like me now!

[While talking to Jerry, Dan and Tom about renting the canoe]
River Guide: There's a transmitter in the canoe. So just in case you three go missing, at least we'll get our boat back.

[After cutting off a fish's head with a hatchet]
Elwood: How you like me now? Huh? How you like me now, fishy? Oh, yeah, that's right you can't talk, cause you don't have a head and I cut it off!

[Dennis and Elwood hearing "Do You Really Want To Hurt Me" being sung from beneath]
Dennis: The hills have gone gay.

Dennis: Where the hell did they get all this poop?

[after finding the guys while singing "Do you Really Want to Hurt Me"]
Dennis and Elwood: [singing] Yes we really want to hurt you. Yes we really want to make you cry. Yes we really want to shoot you. Yes we really want to make you die.

Dialogue

Jerry Conlaine: Let's take Billy's trip.
Tom Marshall: I say hell yes!

Tom Marshall: We'll shine them. It's an old Cherokee trick.
Jerry Conlaine: Oh, I forgot. The Cherokee have been using flashlights for thousands of years.
Dan Mott: Didn't they pioneer the D-cell battery?

Jerry Conlaine: I christen this, Duke the second!
[smashes beer bottle on canoe]
River Guide: Thanks for breaking glass where my kids play.

Dan Mott: I'm out.
Jerry Conlaine: What does that mean?
Tom Marshall: I think it means he's out. Like coming out, like he's finally admitting he's gay.

[the three boys are wearing only their boxers at night, after losing their clothes]
Dan Mott: You know, things are as bad as they could possibly get.
[starts raining hard, Jerry and Tom look up at the rain]
Dan Mott: I stand corrected!

[Finding themselves without their clothes and are planning to sleep in the cold night while it is raining]
Dan Mott: The only chance we have to survive is to huddle together for warmth...
Jerry Conlaine: I, for one, choose death.

Jerry Conlaine: Well I was a boyscout, you were a boyscout too right Tom?
Tom Marshall: No but I ate a brownie once.

[Tom rudely arrived at Billy's funeral on his motorcycle]
Tom Marshall: Is this Billy's funeral? Is that the corpse of Billy Newwood?
[Crowd gasps, Tom sees Jerry amongst group]
Tom Marshall: That you, Jerry?
Jerry Conlaine: Tom!
Tom Marshall: Dan with you? Where'd you guys park?

Dan Mott: [after Tom had offered to distract Dennis and Elwood instead of Jerry] Give 'em hell, Tommy
Tom Marshall: [about to rapple down the tree] This hell-mart's open for business, and I'm slashing prices.

Jerry Conlaine: Come on, Dan. It's like when we'd jump off the railroad bridge into the river when we were kids. This is higher than that.
Dan Mott: But I never *did* jump in the river! You guys always pushed me when I wasn't looking!
Jerry Conlaine: Oh yeah! [Pushes Dan]

[After Dan had an erection while huddling with Tom and Jerry for warmth]
Jerry Conlaine: Come back to bed, you guys. I'm freezing.
Tom Marshall: Not until he puts Jabba back in his Hut!

Dan Mott: Mmm, bacon.
Del Knox: Squirrel.
Dan Mott: Mmm, squirrel.

[Dan seeing a deer from the canoe]
Dan Mott: Hey guys look! A wild deer! All out in the open like that!
[Deer looked back at Dan and growls]

Tom Marshall: He won't bother you if you're in the fetal position.
[Bear approaches]
Tom Marshal: Abort the fetal position!

[Jerry, Tom and Dan are being chased by a bear]
Dan Mott: What are you doing?
Jerry Conlaine: Taking off my shoes.
Dan Mott: Why?
Jerry Conlaine: Because I run faster with no shoes
Dan Mott: You can't outrun that bear!
Jerry Conlaine: I don't have to outrun the bear, I just have to outrun you!

Jerry Conlaine: Wait a second. Tom, were you really employee of the month?
Tom Marshall: No! I lied about that too!

Dan Mott: This trip is officially over! This is finished! Let's just go home.
Tom Marshall: I agree. That is a great idea. All we've got to do is jump up over that 100-foot waterfall, swim upstream 20 miles, get the sheriff on the phone. He liked us, I remember. And he'll send out a rescue boat. And--hey, there's a beer in the river. Cool.

Dan Mott: [imitating C-3PO] We are in serious trouble my friends. All data points to us being--how do you humans say it?-- completely screwed?
Dan Mott: Yeah. You know, that is, that's a good way to say it. That pretty much sums it up.
Dan Mott: [imitating C-3PO] As expected, Tom is drunk.

Dan Mott: Where are we?
Jerry Conlaine: Corner of Bum-fuck and You Got a Purty Mouth.

[While lost in the woods and then hearing rock music]
Dan Mott: Hey, that sounds like Creed.
Tom Marshall: I never thought I'd be happy to hear anything that sounds like Creed.

Tom Marshall: [urging Dan to climb through a hole] Come on Dan, your the only one small enough to get through.
Jerry Conlaine: That's what she said.

[Dennis & Elwood approach, carrying rifles]
Jerry Conlaine: When we get out of this someone's buying a round of drinks, not it.
Tom Marshall: Not it.
Dan Mott: Is there beer in heaven?
Jerry Conlaine: I was thinking more the bar in town.
[Giant redwood flattens Dennis & Elwood]

Denise: Can you please be serious for 5 minutes?
Jerry Conlaine: My record is 4 but I think I can do it.

Del Knox: Whatever it is you guy are looking for, you gotta go out there and get it right now.
[Tom, Jerry, and Dan get up to leave despite the rain]
Del Knox: Not right now you idiots.

Jerry Conlaine: [laying in the boat, after rapid riding] I about shit. Did you about shit?
Tom Marshall: I about shit.
Dan Mott: I did shit.
Jerry Conlaine: Oh shit!
Dan Mott: What? Oh, shit? Oh, shit! What? Oh, shit--
Jerry, Tom & Dan: [All together, while falling off waterfall] Oh Shiiiiiii--

River Guide: So, are you a class 4,5?
Tom Marshall: Yeah?
River Guide: So which one are you?
Tom Marshall: Why don't you try to put those numbers together. Yeah. I shot a class 45, and haven't lost a man yet.
River Guide: Lie to me, I don't care. I'm not the one who's going to drown.

Del Knox: Come with me, or I'll shoot your testicles off and stuff 'em and mount 'em on my mantle-piece.
Tom Marshall: That's gonna be an ugly mantle-piece.

Jerry Conlaine: So this is Spirit River, we take that to Widowmaker Bend and then we hike to Devil's Staircase and that should lead us right to the top of Hellfire.
Dan Mott: What's with all these satanic names? Isn't there, like, a Fluffy Bunny Way?
Tom Marshall: No, but there's a Shut-Up-You-Big-Baby Ridge.

Tom Marshall: We'll shine them.
Jerry Conlaine: That would kill the fish.

Dan Mott: What does the map say, Jerry?
Jerry Conlaine: [After realizing the map is torn] Oh, you know, it's a map.

Dan Mott: Jerry, didn't you see that the river split on the map?
Jerry Conlaine: I would have if your friend the big-ass bear hadn't eaten it!

Tom Marshall: So you're saying you lost the map? You don't have it?
Jerry Conlaine: No, I'm saying I forgot to hold on to it while my ass was free-falling over a 100 foot waterfall
Tom Marshall: So you don't have it?

Tom Marshall: Let's go through there.
Dan Mott: Where? There's no door!

Young Billy: Hey, is it cool to be a grown up?
Jerry Conlaine: Not really my man.

[After hiding from Dennis and Elwood, and Dan discovering that he had swallow a bug]
Dan Mott: It crawled straight in my stomach!
Jerry Conlaine: Come on, let's go.
Dan Mott: I think it laid its eggs in my stomach!

Jerry Conlaine: You're a lot smarter than him. Right Dan?
Dan Mott: Well, I wouldn't say a lot smarter.

Flower: [To Jerry] And what's your forest name?
Tom Marshall: His forest name is Slug!

Del Knox: I spent the best years of my life sittin' on the porch, playin' the harmonica, waitin' for somethin' better. And the years have been goin' by faster, and faster, and then, all of a sudden, I was an old man.
Tom Marshall: Well I bet you can play the shit outta that harmonica!
Del Knox: That I can. 'Cept there's no one around to hear me play it. Piece of advice: you can lose your money. You can spend it - all of it. Maybe work hard, get it all back. But if you waste your time, you're never gonna get it back.

[While fishing with their hands]
Dan Mott: I bet you a hundred grand and my left nut that all you catch in that river is a cold.
Tom Marshall: [after catching a fish] You owe me a hundred grand and the left nut!

Dan Mott: You guys are spraying me.
Tom Marshall: Give me a break. I'm writing your name.
Dan Mott: Stop it!

[After Tom, Jerry and Dan hide in the river]
Elwood: Man, our whole crop is burning! Those assholes are dead! And the bodies that are attached to them are dead, too! Dead! D-E-A-D, dead! Assholes! A-S-S-H-O-
Dennis: [interrupting] Stop spelling!

Cast

External Links

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