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Promotional photo. Left to right: Neil Grayston, William Sadler, Diana Scarwid, Tracie Thoms, Tyron Leitso, Katie Finneran, Caroline Dhavernas, Lee Pace
Genre Comedy-drama
Created by Bryan Fuller
Todd Holland
Starring Caroline Dhavernas
Katie Finneran
Tyron Leitso
Lee Pace
William Sadler
Diana Scarwid
Tracie Thoms
Opening theme "I Wonder Why the Wonderfalls" by Andy Partridge
Country of origin Canada
United States
No. of seasons 1
No. of episodes 13 (List of episodes)
Executive producer(s) Bryan Fuller
Todd Holland
Tim Minear
Running time 42 minutes
Original channel Fox
Picture format EDTV
Original run 02010-03-12 March 12 – December 15, 2004 (2004-12-15)

Wonderfalls is a television program that was broadcast on the Fox television network in 2004.

The show centres on Jaye Tyler (Caroline Dhavernas), a recent Brown University graduate with a philosophy degree, who holds a dead-end job as a sales clerk at a Niagara Falls gift shop. Jaye is the reluctant participant in conversations with various animal figurines — a wax lion, brass monkey, stuffed bear, and mounted fish, among others — which direct her via oblique instructions to help people in need.[1][2]

Some sources use the two-word spelling, "Wonder Falls", for the title. The title of its theme song, "I Wonder Why the Wonderfalls" by Andy Partridge of XTC fame, lists the single word spelling in its original release on iTunes.


Production history

Originally scheduled to debut in the fall of 2003, its premiere was delayed until early 2004. When it finally debuted in March 2004, Wonderfalls received positive reviews from critics,[3][4][5] but had trouble attracting viewers. The pilot episode, "Wax Lion", received a higher Nielsen rating when it was repeated the Thursday after its premiere, and the show was moved from a Friday night time slot to Thursday.[6] There was little notice or promotion of the time change, and the show was subsequently canceled after airing the fourth episode. (A fifth episode was advertised but never aired.)[7][8]

Immediately after the show's cancellation, its producers attempted to interest other networks, including The WB, in picking up the series and some episodes were shown in theatres in Los Angeles during the summer of 2004 in order to raise support for the series.

The entirety of Wonderfalls was aired by the digital cable network Logo in the summer of 2005. The same summer, the British network Sky1 picked up Wonderfalls and aired the series to completion, though not in the original intended episode order.

Fan support and DVD release

Despite its cancellation Wonderfalls developed a loyal fan base. A campaign spearheaded by fans (and an accompanying website) was launched, and several members of the cast and crew visited the site and encouraged the grassroots support.[9][10]

The Museum of Television and Radio held a two-day screening of the entire series on January 29 and 30, 2005.[11]

20th Century Fox released a DVD set of the full 13 episodes on February 1, 2005. The DVD set includes commentary by the producers and cast members on half the episodes, a behind-the-scenes documentary, an examination of the show’s visual effects, and one of the two music videos produced for the theme song, “I Wonder Why the Wonderfalls” by Andy Partridge. Wonderfalls has not yet been released on DVD outside of region 1.

Cast and crew

The series was a United States/Canada co-production, filmed in Niagara Falls, Ontario and Toronto, Ontario,[12] and with several Canadian actors cast in lead roles (including the show’s star). It was created by Bryan Fuller (Dead Like Me, Pushing Daisies) and Todd Holland (The Larry Sanders Show, Malcolm in the Middle) with executive producer Tim Minear (writer and director for Firefly and Angel). Lee Pace, who played Jaye’s brother, would later star in Pushing Daisies, another comedy created by Fuller. Fuller has revealed that the second season of Pushing Daisies includes a crossover[13] from Wonderfalls with Marianne Marie Beetle (Beth Grant) from the episode "Muffin Buffalo" in the Pushing Daisies second season episode "Comfort Food." Diana Scarwid, who played Jaye's mother Karen Tyler in Wonderfalls, also guest starred in four episodes of Pushing Daisies, while Lee Pace, who played her brother Aaron Tyler, headlined the series.

  • Caroline Dhavernas as Jaye Tyler: A 24-year-old graduate of Brown University, at the start of the series Jaye is discontentedly working as a sales clerk at Wonder Falls Gift Emporium and living in a trailer. She avoids her loving—and overbearing—family, whose successes she seems determined not to emulate, spending most of her time at The Barrel, a local bar at which her best friend, Mahandra, is a cocktail waitress. Despite being extremely caustic and a deliberate underachiever, Jaye's life takes an odd turn when various muses, in the form of animal toys, begin talking to her and delivering cryptic instructions. At first uncooperative, Jaye eventually breaks down after they inflict on her various forms of passive coercion, such as keeping her awake all night by singing, and harassing her with their messages when she is around others, forcing her to accede in order to avoid appearing crazy. Jaye's attempts to ignore or go against the messages often result in unexpected misfortunes, such as when Jaye's father is hit by a car. Jaye's guilt over the event leads to her following the muses instructions throughout the rest of the episode, only to discover that her father's injury was, in fact, a blessing, as it led his doctors to discover a potentially life-threatening blood clot. As the series progresses, Jaye becomes more willing to follow the muses' instructions, although she fights them when they make her do things she doesn't like, such as driving Eric back into the arms of his wife. Through the course of the series, Jaye undergoes a subtle, yet discernible personality shift, as the good deeds she unwillingly performs begins to affect the way she perceives the world around her.
  • Tracie Thoms as Mahandra McGinty: Jaye's best friend since childhood, Mahandra is a cocktail waitress at The Barrel and a co-worker of Eric. Like Jaye, she has a sarcastic, dry sense of humor, and a vengeful streak (particularly when first encountering a despised former high school classmate in "Pink Flamingos" or perceiving Jaye's attempts to help the rival of a woman she has aligned herself with in "Barrel Bear" as a mockery of Mahandra's hometown pride). Mahandra often functions as her friend's voice of reason, even to the extent of warning Jaye away from Eric, fearing that her friend will only break his heart. Despite her often blunt manner, she and Jaye have always considered her to be "the nice one" in their friendship. Later in the series Mahandra begins a secret relationship with Jaye's brother, Aaron, which she desperately tries to conceal from Jaye and the rest of the Tyler family. The relationship is "outed" in the episode "Caged Bird" when Jaye is taken hostage at the store. Fearing for her friend's safety, Mahandra hurries to Wonder Falls, but stops short of approaching Jaye during the aftermath. When Aaron sees her, she breaks down, and Jaye and the rest of the Tylers see the two kissing.
  • Tyron Leitso as Eric Gotts: Eric, Jaye's love interest, is introduced in Wax Lion under unusual circumstances: six days prior to the events of the pilot, Eric arrived in Niagara Falls for his honeymoon with his new wife, Heidi. Upon returning to their hotel suite one day, he discovered Heidi "servicing" a hotel bellman. Anguished, he escaped to The Barrel, where he proceeds to drink for three days straight, after which the owner offers him a job as bartender. Extremely sweet, thoughtful, and kind, Eric is the antithesis of Jaye's often-abrasive personality, although he seems intrigued by her brashness and convinced that she is not as uncaring as she claims to be. Although his interest in Jaye is reciprocated, his light flirtation is often rebuffed because of Jaye's fears that she is going crazy, his status as a married man, and Jaye's deeply-rooted fear that she will hurt him. Toward the end of the series Eric's wife Heidi arrives in Niagara in an attempt to win back her husband. Despite having fallen in love with Jaye, her refusal to admit her feelings (caused by the warnings of the muses, rather than her own inclination) leads him to re-marry Heidi on a whim, and decide to leave Niagara. It's because of Eric's deep feelings for Jaye that he is able to interpret her coolness toward him in the final episode as an indication that something is wrong—and indeed, it turns out that she is being held hostage by a bank robber at Wonder Falls. Eric alerts the police, and his explanation of why his suspicions were aroused when giving an interview on the local news finally convinces Heidi that there is no hope for her marriage to Eric. At the end of the final episode, he returns from New Jersey to Niagara, having divorced Heidi. His explanation helps Jaye to understand that the muses' warnings regarding Eric were in order to allow him to come to terms with his relationship to Heidi and end things with her properly.
  • Lee Pace as Aaron Tyler: Jaye's brother Aaron is a PhD student of comparative religions, and the only one of the Tyler siblings to still live at home. Aaron is the most easygoing of his siblings, often exhibiting a rather laconic attitude toward his family and toward Mahandra's tension over their burgeoning relationship (although her refusal to acknowledge it doesn't seem to deflect his interest in her, or in legitimizing their relationship). Although they constantly bicker, it is clear that Aaron and Jaye are close (Jaye even asks Sharon at one point if she is angry that Jaye and Aaron like each other better than they like her). Aaron is the only one during the series who learns of the full extent of Jaye's communications with the muses, a result of his worry over her strange behavior. Although he first believes that she is crazy, it is interesting to note that, despite being a self-proclaimed atheist, when things that the muses tell her start coming true Aaron begins indulging his sister's claims, even to the extent of helping her try to rid herself of all the animals that have talked to her. Eventually, Aaron reluctantly suffers a sort of existential crisis when, during a session with Dr. Ron, a cow creamer that had communicated with Jaye mysteriously seems to prove that they really have been talking to his sister. When Jaye asks him to gather all of the animals, he attempts to talk to them himself, exhibiting a desire to be proven wrong about his belief that there is no higher power.
  • Katie Finneran as Sharon Tyler: The eldest of the Tyler siblings, Sharon is an immigration lawyer and the most ambitious member of the family. Sharon constantly finds herself having to help Jaye—particularly when she has legal trouble—even though there is a strong degree of animosity between the sisters at the start of the series. To Jaye, Sharon is everything she doesn't want to be: goal- and career-oriented, constantly seeking their parents' approval, extremely high-strung, and apparently with little enjoyment of her life. Meanwhile Jaye's constant pranks and somewhat callous disregard for her sister has made Sharon highly resentful. In the first episode, when Jaye discovers Sharon's "big secret" (that she is a lesbian), they admit that despite their animosity they do love one another. Jaye not only keeps Sharon's secret from everyone else, she even helps Sharon out on occasion when someone (particularly their parents) comes close to discovering the truth. In turn, despite great shows of reluctance, Sharon always helps Jaye when she needs it, and even comforts Jaye when Jaye is in despair over Eric.
  • William Sadler as Darrin Tyler: Jaye, Sharon, and Aaron's father, a highly respected physician, Darrin is a loving father to his children, meddling particularly in Jaye's life, as he worries that she isn't doing anything to reach her potential. He bails both Jaye and Yvette out of jail in "Crime Dog," telling her when she apologizes for making him compromise his political beliefs that family comes first, and even expresses gratitude toward Jaye for hitting him with her car (because it's discovered that he had a potentially-fatal blood clot in his leg). Like his wife, Darrin shows constant support to Jaye, even though he is clearly worried that she is not sharing with them what is going on with her.
  • Diana Scarwid as Karen Tyler: The Tyler siblings' mother, Karen's deep love and concern for her children often manifests as criticism and a lack of respect for their personal space (in "Crime Dog" Jaye challenges Aaron with the information that Karen goes through his things when he isn't home). Beautiful and very popular as a successful writer of bestselling travel book guides, Karen is friends with more of Jaye's high school classmates than Jaye herself was. It's clear that Karen is devoted to her family, and particularly worried about her youngest daughter. Jaye even jokes that Karen had a tracking device installed in her at birth, thus never allowing Jaye to escape her family. Karen often questions whether Jaye's "problems" are as a result of her and Darrin's parenting, and clearly wants Jaye to open up to her. Often, Karen and Darrin's attempts to show their support result in annoying Jaye; despite that, Jaye recognizes that her mother not only loves her, but is capable of great insight and compassion, particularly toward the people she loves.
  • Neil Grayston as Alec "Mouthbreather" (recurring role): Jaye's co-worker, the announcement of his promotion to assistant manager of Wonder Falls is the trigger that causes Jaye's "'sode" on the day that the muses begin talking to her. A large part of Jaye's animosity toward Alec is that although he is still in high school, he is now her boss and doesn't hesitate to order her around. She also resents that he was promoted over her (Jaye, in fact, trained Alec when he first started working at the store). Despite his attempts to be assertive over Jaye, she generally ignores him.
  • Jewel Staite as Heidi Gotts (recurring role): Eric's wife, Heidi, makes her first full appearance in the series in the episode "Safety Canary," when she arrives in Niagara in an attempt to win Eric back. Although she presents to Eric a repentant and loving front, she deliberately manipulates him to suit her purposes (once faking amnesia, another time slipping him male-enhancement drugs in an attempt to get him to sleep with her). She hates Jaye, perceiving her as a threat to her relationship with Eric. Although Eric seems to recognize Heidi's manipulations, Jaye's inability to confess how she feels for him eventually drives him back to his wife. When Heidi sees Eric on a news report explaining how he knew to alert the police to the hostage situation in "Caged Bird," she begins to realize that although Eric might forgive her, he is truly in love with Jaye. On her way to tell Eric that she is giving up him and their marriage, Heidi collides with the van in which Jaye is being held hostage. This action causes the bank robber who has taken Jaye to be hit by an ambulance, saving Jaye's life. Although in the aftermath of the hostage events it appears that Eric and Heidi have reconciled and returned to New Jersey to begin their life together, Eric reveals later that he only went to help her get settled and to close the book on their marriage by getting a divorce.


Fox aired the first four episodes out of sequence, although the episodes were produced in a different order than was intended for broadcast.

Planned episodes

Although the show's creators had intended for the 13 episodes of Wonderfalls to tell a standalone story, they discuss plans for second and third seasons in an interview featured on the 2005 DVD release of the series. Among the projected storylines mentioned on the DVD:

  • In the second season, Jaye’s therapist would document their sessions, eventually publishing a book on her, which would lead to her being institutionalized with “Joan of Arc Syndrome” in the third season.
  • An accidental-pregnancy plotline was also planned for Jaye's lesbian sister Sharon.
  • A new "Wax Lion", one who was intact, would be introduced, who would advise Jaye against listening to what the original "Wax Lion" said.
  • The young boy who received a mail order bride from Russia in the "Lovesick Ass" episode would return in the opening of Season 3 in the same institution as Jaye, suffering from pyromania after Jaye broke his heart.

Connection to Pushing Daisies

Three years later, writer and producer Bryan Fuller created the show Pushing Daisies. Lee Pace, who played Aaron in Wonderfalls, was cast as the lead in that show; additionally, other connections to Wonderfalls appeared in Pushing Daisies:

  • Beth Grant reprised her role as Marianne Marie Beetle from the episode "Muffin Buffalo" in the Pushing Daisies episode "Comfort Food".
  • In the Pushing Daisies series finale "Kerplunk", Randy Man carries a sack of Macaroni featuring the same "Lil' Ivey" Bunny that speaks to Jaye in the episode "Cocktail Bunny".
  • Diana Scarwid played a recurring role as Mother Superior on Pushing Daisies.


External links


Up to date as of January 14, 2010

From Wikiquote

So she agreed to live with the god in the waterfall and became "Maid of the Mist"...and thanks to "Princess" Niagara has remained an enchanted wonderland, despite hundreds of years of commercial development.

Wonderfalls (2004) is a television series that aired on Fox starring Caroline Dhavernas about a graduate of Brown University working a dead-end job as a sales clerk at a Niagara Falls gift shop who is the reluctant participant in conversations with a variety of animal figurines.


Theme song

"I Wonder Why the Wonder Falls" by Andy Partridge
  • We're bobbing along in our barrel.
    Some of us tip right over the edge.
    But there's one thing really mystifying
    It's got me laughing, now it's got me crying
    All my life I'll be death defying
    Till I know...

    *I wonder wonder why the wonderfalls
    I wonder why the wonder falls on me
    I wonder wonder why the wonderfalls
    With everything I touch and hear and see.

  • We teeter along on our tightrope
    Some of us trip and damage our heads
    Poppin' pills is really stupefying
    Get you crawling when you could be flying
    All my life I guess I'll be dying
    Just to know...

* I wonder wonder why the wonderfalls
I wonder why the wonder falls on me
I wonder wonder why the wonderfalls
With everything I touch and hear and see.

  • Don't you ever think about this life
    And how strange it all can seem?
    Only way to find the answers out
    Is to wake up from its golden dream.
  • I've got to find out from where the wonder falls.

Season 1

Wax Lion [1.1]

Gretchen: Did you end up over-educated and unemployable like you said in the yearbook?
Jaye: Yep.

Sharon: You tell people we're not related.
Jaye: It was just that one time.
Sharon: It was Grandpa's wake!

Mahandra: Disappointing your family is an extreme sport for you.

Eric: Why do they always sacrifice the pretty ones?
Jaye: I guess killing pretty people is easier than killing ugly people. Although, you'd think the opposite would be true.

[Jaye picks a quarter out of the fountain]
Girl: You're not supposed to steal.
Jaye: You're not supposed to talk to strangers. Piss off.

Pink Flamingos [1.2]

Jaye: Eric can't talk right now, because he's servicing me sexually.

Jaye: I don't have a choice. I'm a puppet. The universe sticks its hand up my butt, and if I don't dance people get hurt.

Mahandra: I've got my own list of things to do. And at the top of it: destroy Gretchen Speck. You may be the universe's butt puppet, but I'm its right-hand fist of fate. And tonight, accounts are comin' due.

Karen: Honey, you should go in there.
Jaye: Me?
Karen: Otherwise, I'll have to.

Eric: So, did you defy the chicken?
Jaye: Uh-huh.
Eric: And how'd that work out for ya?
Jaye: I think I may have killed a man.
Eric: Oh. So not as well as we'd hoped then?

Karma Chameleon [1.3]

Bianca: [to store customers] Come again!
Jaye: Don't encourage them.

Jaye: You've gotta choose people who aren't much more motivated than you are — but don't surround yourself with total narcissists. Otherwise, things start to be about something other than you.

Bianca: Your home is a trailer. Don't you see the beautiful poetry in that? It's a thing that's been designed to go someplace, and yet the hitch isn't hooked up to anything. So it just sits here, never living up to it's potential... but never in any danger of breaking down either.

Jaye: I should have tossed her out on her buh-buh-butt!

Jaye: A brother who lives at home, and is still considered more succesful than I am, which could be because I live in a trailer that, while it may look like Jeannie's bottle, is actually slightly smaller.

Wound-Up Penguin [1.4]

Jaye: What do you get off brow-beating a hooker? Jesus was nice to prostitutes.

Eric: The man, do you remember what he looked like?
Janitor: Strange looking sort. Dressed in all black. I remember thinking that if Johnny Cash had been born an Irishman, the music would have been more lilting.

Jaye: If you were so happy with the sisters in the field, why did you leave?
Katrina: It was the cheese. The cheese was my undoing. [indicating her plate] This is the miracle of life melted over these chili fries. The bacterial flirtation with enzymes. The co-mingling of friendly micro-organisms giving birth to curds and whey, "And from dust He created the universe."
Jaye: The dairy-board must love you.

Jaye: Yes, but maybe she's just a lazy whore. That happens, right? They can't all have hearts of gold and good work ethics.

Jaye: The voices, the animals, I was just mad at them. But they aren’t demonic. It just feels like that sometimes when they make me help people.

Crime Dog [1.5]

Karen: Sharon, go talk to your father. You're his favorite.
[Sharon leaves the kitchen]
Aaron: I thought I was his favorite.
Karen: We don't have favorites.

Aaron: Oh my God, that guy just blew his nose on the ground. I thought Canadians were supposed to be clean.
Jaye: Just don't make eye contact.

Jaye: Well, if it isn't the squealer. Thanks for squealing, squealer.
Sharon: How am I a squealer?
Jaye: Uh, could it be the squealing? You ambushed us with the fuzz. You were all back-lit and evil-smoking like that guy on the X-Files.

Officer Hale: The blonde one's queer. Look at her. Those fingernails are a dead giveaway. Cut all nice and short. Clean cuticle beds. Lesbians always trim their nails like that. You know why?

Jaye: Just try to get Aaron out.
Sharon: He's already out
Jaye: Bastard! He sang?
Sharon: No, you admitted to driving the car.
Jaye: Oohh, I sang...
Sharon: There are like six Law and Orders on the air now, have you not seen one of them?

Muffin Buffalo [1.6]

Aaron: If your portly chupacabra doesn’t emerge soon I’ll be forced to go home and work on my dissertation.
Jaye: I don’t call him that anymore. He might be of Mexican descent and I don’t want to be insensitive.
Aaron: What do you call him?
Jaye: Fat Pat. It was Fatsquatch but... [shrugs]

Jaye: I do admit the whole shut-in thing has a certain appeal. Dress is optional, and there’s the part where you get to avoid people.

Jaye: [wandering the deserted trailer park] Did we have a Rapture?

Aaron: There’s something out there and it’s laughing at us.
Darrin: I don’t think your sister’s special lunch is an appropriate place for an existential crisis.
Aaron: It’s not an existential crisis.
Karen: You’re studying religion for God’s sake, you were bound to have one sooner or later.
Aaron: I’m not in existential crisis! Just the opposite. I was fine when existence had no meaning. Meaninglessness in a universe that has no meaning — that I get. But meaninglessness in a universe that has meaning... [to Jaye] what does it mean?!
Jaye: It doesn't mean anything.
Aaron: Did the cow creamer tell you that?
Karen: I’m throwing that creamer away the second we get home.

Jaye: You lost 300 pounds; you can’t just gain it all back!
Marianne Marie: Well Zeig Heil, Miss Jenny Craig!

Barrel Bear [1.7]

[Millie is sitting at the autograph-signing table and is being ignored.]
Mahandra: This is sad. This is sadder than that hooker we saw getting beat up by that other hooker.
Alec: At least a hooker fight would draw a crowd.

Jaye: [to Sharon] How long have you been using the Republican party as a lesbian dating service?

Viv: I was supposed to ride that barrel right out of this crummy town.
Jaye: And you never considered a bus?

Mahandra: ...the story of Millie Marcus and her barrel.
Eric: It is sort of the quintessential American tale.
Mahandra: Yes! It teaches us there's nothing a person can’t do.
Eric: Or nothing a person actually has to do. I mean look at her, she’s 100% fabrication. She decided what she wanted to be and damn the facts. You don’t get much more American than that.

Jaye: Look at me: I’m 24 and I’ve never done anything. I have a worthless philosophy degree that's gotten me no further than a dead-end retail job working for a mouth-breather so I can continue to support my trailer park lifestyle. Do you think I sit around feeling sorry for myself?
Viv: God, I would if I were you.

Lovesick Ass [1.8]

Lovesick Ass: Girl needs a—
Jaye: Girl might actually find time to have a boy if you'd ever shut up!
Lovesick Ass: ...donut. Girl needs a donut.
Jaye: Finally, something sensible.

[Playing with the Wax Lion and Brass Monkey]
Mahandra [as Wax Lion as Jaye]: Your man-sweat is like honey-mustard glaze on my tongue.
Brass Monkey: Inappropriate touching.
Wax Lion: This isn't fun for anybody.

Jaye: It's impossible you could've liked any of your three portions. It's fish jello! You do realize that's jello and fish?

Peter: He wants you all to himself. He won't share you with anyone. You're in danger. He's dangerous. I saw him smoking a cigarette.
Jaye: He doesn't smoke. He doesn't hit people. He doesn't deface synogogues and he doesn't frequent gay bath houses.
Peter: I have pictures.
Jaye: You have photo-imaging software!
Peter: I'm only trying to protect you. Come with me to the cabin. I'll keep you safe. We have a cellar.

Eric: You know, even if you got rid of me, you'd still be left with the biggest obstacle to Jaye's heart.
Peter: What's that?
Eric: Jaye.

Safety Canary [1.9]

Rufus: You know what happens when a fairy's wings lose their dust? The fairy dies, that's what.
Jaye: Uh, restrooms are for customers only.

Penelope: We answer to a higher law.
Eric: We do?
Jaye: Love. Love is our higher law. And we're here to save it. Not that it was ever in any danger. From me.

Aaron: I wanna see an engorged cloaca!
Penelope: You can't. I told you, your powerful sexual chemistry is too distracting.
Aaron: I get that a lot, actually.

Jaye: I'm trying to save him. By avoiding him. So I can be with him. But I can't go near him or I'll destroy him, so if I can just manage to stay away from him maybe we can be together. Please don't repeat that back to me.

Jaye: I've never seen anyone work so hard to get someone else laid in my entire life. You are like the total mac daddy bird pimp.

Lying Pig [1.10]

Jaye: Brain damage suits her.

Heidi: You hit me with a television!
Jaye: It was a portable!

Jaye: Fine, I'm the crazy one... but I had the snake!
Heidi: Well, it's my snake and I want it back.
[Jaye looks puzzled]
Heidi: The snake... that's a penis reference, right?
Jaye: No, God! With a mind that works like that no wonder you cheated on your honeymoon.

Mahandra: If you think Jaye made him less frustrated, you're sadly mistaken.

Mahandra: You're like a brother to me.
Aaron: So, I make love like a black man?
Mahandra: Not that kind of brother, you idiot!

Cocktail Bunny [1.11]

Jaye: [to melting Wax Lion] Tell me why. Why make me make the man I love re-marry his hussy bride? How is that helpful? Who does that benefit besides the hussy, 'cause I'm not in the business of benefitting hussies.

Heidi: [to Jaye] We're both reasonable women.
Mahandra: Ha!
Heidi: We're both capable of reason.

Jaye: Of course she's not pressing charges. Murderers don't press charges. It calls unwanted attention to themselves.

Brass Monkey: Lick the light-switch.

Jaye: [to Brass Monkey] Tell me why you talk to me!
Brass Monkey: Because... you listen.

Totem Mole [1.12]

Jaye: I couldn’t stand the thought of spending another day looking at those faces with their stupid little mouths constantly running and making all sorts of unreasonable demands on me.
Mahandra: Are you sure you should be in a customer service industry?

Aaron: St. Paul was just a punk until he was blinded by the light, and Gandhi was just drinking and whoring it up with his friends until he heard the cry of his people.
Jaye: And Neo was just a geek until he swallowed that little red pill.

Bill: Thank you for supporting this imperialist establishment. Enjoy your purchase and have a racist day!

Bill: They really look up to me!
Jaye: Yeah, you made them sit down.

Sharon: Behind this door is one very dehydrated, very angry, and very litigious woman! Pry, man! Pry!

Caged Bird [1.13]

Caged Bird: Let him go!

Wade: Is this one of those stores that gives its employees a cash bonus when they apprehend a shoplifter?
Jaye: Ten percent of whatever they were gonna steal! One time I accidentally left the watch case open and I got, like, 500 bucks.

Jaye: I make good life choices — mostly because they’re forced on me — but I make them, and I find myself in unpleasant situations all the time. You know why? Because even if you have a choice it can and will be taken away from you. We’re all fate’s bitch. You might as well go ahead and bend over for destiny now.

Alec: No! Please, don’t kill me! I can’t die! I’ve never been with a woman!
Bank robber: [to Sharon] You...
Sharon: I have been with a woman!

[Eric is holding a bag full of Wonderfalls souvenirs.]
Eric: I'd like to return these items.
Jaye: Did they break? 'Cause we sell a lot of crap here.


External links

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