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"Woodland Critter Christmas"
South Park episode
Stan's new friends visit him
Episode no. Season 8
Episode 14
Written by Trey Parker
Directed by Trey Parker
Original airdate December 15, 2004
Season 8 episodes
South Park – Season 8
March 17, 2004 – December 15, 2004
  1. Good Times with Weapons
  3. Up the Down Steroid
  4. The Passion of the Jew
  5. You Got F'd in the A
  6. Goobacks
  7. The Jeffersons
  8. Douche and Turd
  9. Something Wall-Mart This Way Comes
  10. Pre-School
  11. Quest for Ratings
  12. Stupid Spoiled Whore Video Playset
  13. Cartman's Incredible Gift
  14. Woodland Critter Christmas

Season 7 Season 9
List of South Park episodes

"Woodland Critter Christmas" is episode 814 of the Comedy Central series South Park, and originally aired December 15, 2004. It is currently, the last South Park Christmas theme episode.


This episode, which like many Christmas shows has an anapestic rhyming narration and storybook style, begins in the forest, where "the boy in the red poof-ball hat" —Stan— discovers a group of talking animals, the Woodland Christmas Critters, building a Christmas tree. They convince a confused Stan to help make a star for their tree before he goes home. That night, they wake him in his room and explain that one of the animals, a porcupine named Porcupiney, is pregnant with the creatures' Savior. Tired and drowsy, Stan agrees to help them build a manger for the baby. They then enlist his help against another problem: every year, they explain, one of the animals conceives their Savior, but every time a mountain lion kills it before she gives birth to the baby. They insist that Stan is the only one capable of helping them. Exasperated, Stan manages to kill the beast (by tricking her into jumping off a ledge after him), but is dismayed to find that the lion was the mother of three now-orphaned cubs. Returning to the critters, Stan is further horrified to discover that the woodland critters are, in fact, Satan worshippers, and that their Savior is actually the Antichrist, not an animalistic Son of God. The animals point out that this is obvious, because God would never have sex with a porcupine. The animals celebrate by sacrificing Rabbitty the Rabbit and devouring his entrails, which is immediately followed by a blood orgy in the remains. It is also revealed that the mountain lion was only killing the woodland creatures to stop the Anti-Christ from being born.

Stan tries to stop the animals himself, but they rebuff him with their Satanic powers, cheerfully conjuring up fire and demonic beasts. After he learns that only a mountain lion can kill the Antichrist, Stan returns to the mountains to enlist the orphaned cubs. The cubs, however, note that they need to learn "how to kill babies," so Stan takes them to an abortion doctor to teach them how to perform abortions (against his will—the narrator forces him to). Meanwhile, the animals are searching for a human host for the Antichrist to possess when born—the person in question must be a non-baptized non-Christian. They discover Kyle, who is Jewish, and kidnap him to serve their purpose.

Stan arrives in time to discover that the Antichrist—a strange, vicious little creature—has already been born, and that his best friend Kyle is tied to a Satanic altar to receive the evil creature. Santa Claus suddenly arrives and, when he learns what is happening, pulls out a shotgun and slaughters all the creatures. He is about to kill the Antichrist, but Kyle—now free from the altar—declares that he wants the Antichrist to possess him, so that he can make the world better for the Jews. He allows the demon to possess him, and is about to unleash a devastating blow on the world when...

The story suddenly cuts away to Mr. Garrison's fourth-grade class, where it is revealed that everything that had happened so far in the episode was merely a Christmas-themed story that Cartman had written and was reading to the class. Kyle angrily objects, claiming that it is nothing more than Cartman's attempt to once again mock his religion at Christmas time. Mr. Garrison, fearing complaints from Kyle's mother, forces Cartman to stop. The other boys--including Stan, however, plead with Kyle to let Cartman continue because they want to hear the ending; Kyle objects that the ending is obvious, that Kyle (in the story) will merely be killed by Santa Claus so that Christmas is saved. Cartman says that is not the ending, and as the other boys persist, Kyle angrily allows Cartman to continue.

Back in the story, Kyle suddenly declares that he can now feel that the Antichrist is pure evil and wants it out, while Stan responds, "What did you expect, dude? It's the son of the Devil!" Santa, however, says that they have no choice but to kill Kyle, before the Antichrist can consume his soul and unleash his reign of terror. Stan, however, has the mountain lion cubs perform an abortion on Kyle's anus, removing the Antichrist, which Santa unceremoniously smashes with a sledgehammer. Santa gives Stan a special Christmas wish, and Stan uses it to have Santa resurrect the mountain lion cubs' mother. Everyone then goes home to a happy Christmas.

The narrator then concludes the story by stating that "they all lived happily ever after... except for Kyle, who died of AIDS two weeks later." We see Kyle on a hospital bed slowly dying. Then we see a Christmas-themed title card reading, "The End." The episode ends with Kyle's angry voice, ("Goddammit, Cartman!").


According to this episode's mini-commentary, this episode was one of the most difficult to make. After making the feature film Team America: World Police and the 13 other episodes in South Park's 8th season in the same year (a year which Trey Parker and Matt Stone describe as "The Year from Hell"), Parker, Stone and the show's other writers were completely drained of ideas. The staff tried to come up with an idea, but nothing came up through Thursday and Friday which is considered a huge drawback with South Park's rushed production. On Saturday afternoon the staff decided to just do the idea of parodying John Denver's Critter Christmas holiday special, which had been in gestation for some time. The critters participate in Satanic behavior like the possessed crew of the 1997 movie Event Horizon, which also inspired Stone and Parker to create the characters. With some doubt, the show developed into an episode involving a rhyming narration and ending with it being a story by Cartman, the creators ended up quite satisfied with it. The episode was also in the style of Christmas stories such as How the Grinch Stole Christmas.

The episode has special bumpers, announcing it to be "A Woodland Critter Christmas," with Squirrelly then saying in a cheerful voice, "Hail Satan!"

Preceded by
Cartman's Incredible Gift
South Park episodes Followed by
Mr. Garrison's Fancy New Vagina

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